Scandalous Sins. Tara Pammi

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СКАЧАТЬ was relieved when Cam got to his feet and said they had to leave.

      ‘But we haven’t told you what we’ve got planned for the honeymoon,’ Ross said.

      ‘Isn’t that supposed to be bad luck?’ Cam said with a pointed look.

      Ross’s face darkened. ‘You can’t help yourself, can you? But Tatiana is the one. I know it as sure as I’m standing here.’

      ‘Good for you.’ Cam’s tone had a hint of cynicism to it and Violet wondered how many times he had heard exactly the same thing from his father. Ross was the sort of man who treated women as trophies to be draped on his arm and summarily dismissed when they ceased to pander to his bloated ego.

      Violet quickly offered her hand to Ross and Tatiana. ‘It was lovely to meet you. I hope the wedding goes well.’

      Ross frowned. ‘But aren’t you coming with Cameron?’

      Violet realised her gaffe too late. ‘Erm...yes, of course, if that’s what you’d like.’

      ‘You’re part of the family now,’ Ross said. ‘We’d be delighted to have you share in our special day, wouldn’t we, babe?’

      Tatiana’s smile was cool. ‘But of course. I’ll aim the bouquet in your direction, shall I?’

      Violet’s smile felt like it was stitched in place. ‘That’d be great.’

      * * *

      Cam took her by the hand and led her out of the hotel. ‘I did warn you.’

      ‘How on earth do you stand him?’ Violet said. ‘He’s impossibly self-centred. He didn’t ask you a single thing about your work or anything to do with you. It was all about him. How amazing he is and how successful and rich. And Tatiana looks like she’s young enough to be his daughter. What on earth does she see in him?’

      ‘He paid for her boob job.’

      Violet rolled her eyes. She walked a few more paces with him before adding, ‘I’m sorry about the wedding gaffe. I didn’t think. Do you think they suspected anything was amiss?’

      ‘Probably not,’ Cam said. ‘They’re too focused on themselves.’

      ‘Poor you,’ Violet said.

      He gave a soft smile. ‘You want to grab a bite to eat before we go home?’

      Go home. How...permanent and cosy that sounded. ‘Sure. Where did you have in mind?’

      ‘Somewhere on the other side of the city so there’s no chance my father and Tatiana will chance upon us.’

      Violet gave him a sympathetic look. ‘I swear I am never going to complain about my family ever again.’

      ‘There’s no such thing as a perfect family,’ he said. ‘But I have to admit yours comes pretty close.’

      Violet adored her family. They were supportive and loving and always there for her. But the pressure to live up to the standards her parents had modelled for her always made her feel as if she wasn’t quite good enough, that she would never be able to do as brilliant a job as they had of finding love and keeping it. It was one of the reasons she had never told her mother or her sisters about what had happened at that party. Although she knew they would be nothing but supportive and concerned, she’d always worried they would see her differently...as damaged in some way.

      ‘I know, but it’s hard to live up to, you know? What if I don’t find someone as perfect as my dad is for my mum? They’re such a great team. I don’t want to settle for less but I’m worried I might miss out. I want to have kids. That makes me feel under even more pressure. It’s all right for guys; you can have kids when you’re ninety. It’s different for women.’

      ‘If it’s going to happen it’ll happen,’ he said. ‘You can’t force these things.’

      ‘Easy for you to say. You have a queue of women waiting to hook up with you.’

      He gave her hand a tiny squeeze. ‘I’m only interested in one woman at the moment.’

      At the moment.

      How could she forget the clock ticking on their relationship? It was front and centre in her mind. Each day that passed was another day closer to when they would go back to being friends. Friends without benefits. It would be torture to be around Cam without being able to touch him, to kiss him, to wrap her arms around him and feel his body stir against her. It would be torture to see him date other women, knowing they were experiencing the explosive passion and pleasure of being in his arms.

      What if she never found someone as perfect for her as Cam? What if she ended up alone and had to be satisfied with being an aunty or godmother instead of the mother she longed to be? She had been embroidering baby clothes since she was a teenager. She’d made them for her sisters and brother’s wife Zoe each time they were expecting but she had her own private stash of clothes. It was her version of a hope chest. Every time she looked at those little vests and booties and bibs she felt an ache of longing. But it wasn’t just about having a baby, she realised with a jolt. She wanted to have Cam’s baby. She couldn’t think of anything she wanted more than to be with him, not just for Christmas but for ever.

      * * *

      After dinner they walked hand in hand through the Christmas wonderland of London’s streets. Violet had always loved Christmas in her adopted city but being with Cam made the lights seem all the brighter, the colours all the more vivid, the hype of the festive season all the more exciting. When they walked past the Somerset House ice-skating rink, Cam stopped and looked down at her with a twinkling look. ‘Fancy a quick twirl to work off dinner?’

      Violet looked at the gloriously lit rink with the beautifully decorated Christmas tree at one end. She had skated there a couple of times with Stef and Amy but she’d felt awkward because they had brought their boyfriends. The boys had offered to partner her but she’d felt so uncomfortable she’d pretended to have a sore ankle rather than take them up on their offer. ‘I’m not very good at it...’ she said. ‘And I’m not wearing the right clothes.’

      ‘Excuses, excuses,’ Cam said. ‘It won’t take long to go home and change.’

      Within a little while they were back at the rink dressed in jeans and jackets and hats and gloves. Violet felt like a foal on stilts until Cam took her by the hand and led her around until she felt more secure. He looked like he’d been skating all his life, his balance and agility making her attempts look rather paltry in comparison.

      ‘You’re doing great,’ he said, wrapping one arm around her waist. ‘Let’s do a complete circuit. Ready?’

      Violet leaned into his body and went with him in graceful sweeps and swishes that made the cold air rush past her face. It was exhilarating to be moving so quickly and with his steady support she gained more and more confidence, even letting go of his hand at one point to do a twirl in front of him.

      Cam took her hand again, smiling broadly. ‘What did I tell you? You’re a natural.’

      ‘Only with you.’ And not just with skating. How would she ever make love with someone else and feel the same level of pleasure? It didn’t seem СКАЧАТЬ