Название: The Dare Collection April 2019
Автор: Nicola Marsh
Издательство: HarperCollins
Жанр: Короткие любовные романы
Серия: Mills & Boon Series Collections
isbn: 9781474095488
isbn:
‘Um...yes.’ God, I sounded croaky. ‘Unless those videos were wrong, we haven’t finished, though, right?’ I couldn’t quite hide my uncertainty, a part of me worried that this was all he was going to give me. That he might change his mind and leave me here, sated yet still starving.
He shifted, the hard ridge between my thighs brushing against my sensitive sex, sending a shockwave of pleasure through me, his free hand cupping my bare breast.
His palm was hot, searing against my skin, and when he brushed his thumb over my nipple, still slick from his mouth, I groaned.
‘No, we’re not finished.’ He watched me, gauging my reactions. ‘After all, you’re still a virgin.’
‘Well, right?’ A weird reaction was starting to set in, a burst of intense emotion sweeping over me, making me feel like crying.
Okay, now this was embarrassing.
I never cried. Not ever. Not even the day Dad had informed me that I’d killed my mother by being born and he’d never forgive me for it. And that if I ever wanted even a crumb of attention from him, I’d have to work for it.
Not that I’d ever think about that day again.
‘I mean, this hymen isn’t going to break itself,’ I babbled, trying to talk away the vulnerability that was getting wider and larger inside me. ‘And it’s not going to be much of a revenge if—’
Ajax lifted his hand from my breast and laid his thumb against my mouth, stopping the flow of words. His gaze narrowed, focusing intensely on me. ‘Little one, are you okay?’
To my horror, I felt my lower lip wobble.
This wasn’t how it went in the videos. The women all moaned and gasped like they were enjoying themselves, but no one cried afterwards. No one talked about feelings.
I knew that wasn’t the point—porn didn’t have feelings attached—but my reaction still caught me by surprise.
Why was this happening? A combination of his physical closeness and the unstoppable pleasure he’d given me? The realisation that this was all centred around him somehow? Or was it something else?
Whatever it was, I didn’t like it. I didn’t want it.
‘What’s wrong?’ Ajax took his thumb from my mouth. ‘And give me the truth this time.’
I swallowed, trying to get rid of the lump in my throat.
Dad would be appalled.
He would. He hated my tears. He thought I didn’t deserve to cry.
‘Nothing.’ Desperately, I tried to salvage the situation. ‘I’m fine.’
But of course Ajax knew I was lying.
‘You’re not fine,’ he said flatly. ‘You were honest with me before, Imogen. Why are you lying now?’
Shit. I was such a failure. This was why I’d wanted to get away from Dad in the first place, because I could never be what he wanted me to be. I could never earn a place in his heart. And my inability to do any of that only got people hurt in the process.
‘Okay, so you’re right. I’m not fine,’ I croaked pathetically, not even trying to hide it because what was the point? ‘I feel...weird. Like I want to cry. But it’s not you. It’s nothing you’ve done. It’s just...’
He didn’t say anything, simply stared at me.
‘Don’t think that this means I don’t want you to keep going,’ I added, angry with myself for ruining the moment. ‘I still need you to take my virginity, okay? I want my damn revenge.’
He remained silent.
Great, so I’d screwed up. I’d been too full-on. Too honest. Too emotional. Too...everything.
I should have remembered that there were always consequences when I didn’t keep myself under control. Consequences such as what had happened to Cameron, the poor guy beaten within an inch of his life.
My fault. I’d never even thought that asking him out would be a problem, I’d simply gone ahead and asked him, too caught up in my attraction to him. And he’d got hurt because of me.
Failing. I was always failing.
Ajax lowered my arms from over my head, chafing my wrists gently. Then he eased me down his body until I was standing on the floor.
His gentleness made the emotions crashing around inside me somehow even worse. I felt like a hurt child in need of comfort.
How humiliating.
I tried to muster up some anger but, before I could get good and worked up, he picked me up in his arms and carried me over to the huge bed that faced the ocean, putting me down on the edge of the mattress before crouching in front of me.
‘It’s okay,’ I muttered. ‘You can leave now.’
‘Leave?’ He frowned. ‘Why would I do that?’
‘Uh, because I’m being pathetic and emotional?’
He shrugged one powerful shoulder as if that didn’t matter at all to him. ‘You’re not being pathetic. Emotional yes, but what you’re feeling is normal. Sometimes it happens when sex is particularly intense.’
Well, it had been intense, that was for sure.
I swallowed past the lump in my throat. ‘Has it happened to you? Wanting to cry after sex, I mean?’ The question sounded stupid as soon as it came out of my mouth. Ajax King wanting to cry after an orgasm? The idea was as ludicrous as Dad suddenly becoming Prime Minister.
Ajax didn’t laugh, thank God. ‘No, but I know it happens to some people.’
‘Well, I don’t want it to happen to me.’ And I didn’t. Not crying was about the only thing I’d managed to succeed at, the only thing that Dad didn’t criticise me for.
Crying now would be one failure too many.
I blinked hard and looked down at my hands. ‘I don’t blame you if you don’t want to do this any more. I didn’t mean to ruin the mood.’
Strong fingers caught my jaw, tipping my face up.
He’d risen to his feet and was bending over me, his intense blue gaze blazing into mine. ‘You’re not ruining anything. Cry if you want to. Scream if you want to. Emotion doesn’t scare me, Imogen. I’m going to fuck you either way.’
The words shot down my spine like shocks. His expression was uncompromising and it came to me all of a sudden that of course my emotions didn’t scare him. They didn’t matter to him at all.
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