The Dare Collection: June 2018. Lauren Hawkeye

Чтение книги онлайн.

СКАЧАТЬ the years of self-doubt had infected her fresh start with Ben. Every childhood disappointment, every time her father let her down and every cruel taunt from her overcritical ex rattled in her brain until nausea threatened.

      Perhaps Ash was right. She should walk away.

      No. She wanted a future as part of Ben’s life. And their father had already robbed her of a past with her only sibling.

      ‘How are things in New York?’ Had he seen their father? Had Frank Newbold asked about her? She shouldn’t care, but that little girl part of her, the part that had idolised him, had flown into his outstretched arms every time he’d come home, still craved his attention, even when she’d declared herself done with his toxic brand of parenthood.

      ‘Someone’s putting their hand in the cash register.’

      Essie gasped. ‘Oh, no, Ben. That’s terrible.’ A slab of guilt settled on her shoulders. Ben needed drama at The Yard as much as she needed another brush-off from Ash.

      ‘I’ll sort it out, don’t worry. Did the bank get their signature in time?’

      Essie’s face heated with the reminder of what she’d done last night.

      ‘Yes.’ Despite all the reasons not to, despite Ash’s obvious ability to resist, she yearned for the full-on repeat performance Ash had denied her yesterday.

      He’d wanted her—the physical evidence, thick and hard behind his fly, had been irrefutable. She’d never have guessed a sexually charged man like Ash possessed so much command over his body. Or her so little.

      The trust between her and Ash was non-existent. He seemed to think she was some sort of industrial spy out to ruin his investment and she couldn’t be sure he wouldn’t sack her at any moment, regardless of her relationship to Ben. But she wanted him anyway. Physically. Another new experience for her.

      She’d trusted her ex with a blind faith that left her curled into a tight ball. She’d been so desperate to make just one relationship work that she’d ignored the warning signs—the criticisms, the bullying, the control. When he’d finally grown bored and left her on the grounds that she was too clingy, and she’d seen clearly for the first time how dysfunctional the relationship had been, she’d vowed never again to give someone that kind of power.

      And she certainly wouldn’t give it to Ash.

      But, she’d known the minute he’d stepped from his en-suite bathroom, droplets of water dotting his sculpted torso with only the towel and his scowl as a barrier, she’d intended to make good on her plan to seduce him then walk away. A plan that had put the control of their rampant sexual attraction firmly in her hands.

      But that chemistry between them had become a magnetised force field drawing her in, and her plan had backfired. She’d seduced him all right, but she’d bungled it. Failed to put a stop to the wild kissing and grinding that had scored her another orgasm, but scored Ash another point on his ‘ability to resist her’ scale.

      ‘Are you and Ash getting to know each other?’ Ben’s voice pulled her back from thoughts of Ash’s naked body, every inch of him hard and straining...

       No.

      Ash was getting to know how easily he could turn her on to the point of spontaneous combustion. How eagerly she surrendered to their physical need that flared to life like a science experiment gone wrong. How her traitorous body succumbed to the pleasure he crafted so effortlessly.

      The only positive outcome, aside from the fantastic sex, was that her blog post on one-night stands had been quoted on one of the UK’s top online women’s magazines and reposted over and over on social media. It seemed people loved Illegally Hot. The spike in followers and comments had, only this morning, spurred Essie into publishing another article featuring the panty-melting Illegally Hot, entitled Dares, Disasters and Don’t Go Theres—those relationships we knew were bad for us, but we craved them anyway—drawing on last night’s disappointing disaster. As if purging her thoughts, her fears, her doubts in cyberspace would cure her of her irresistible and seemingly one-sided attraction to Ash Jacob.

      It was wrong, but she couldn’t deny the buzz that the soar of popularity delivered. She’d always considered her blog as something of a hobby, but, with her PhD complete, perhaps the boost in credibility was just what she needed to take herself more seriously as a writer. She could even start running some pay-per-click ads...invite experts in the field to guest blog... She scribbled down some ideas while she zoned back to answering her brother’s question. ‘Not really.’ Apart from Ash’s bedroom skills and his considerable control, she knew zilch. A fact her analytical brain tolerated poorly.

      ‘What’s his deal? He seems a little...uptight.’

       Plus he hated her, wanted to fire her and didn’t trust her.

      ‘Has he upset you?’ The fact that Ben had protective instincts towards her left her gooey inside. But the only thing she needed protection from was her own reckless libido. The goo turned to brittle concrete.

      ‘No, of course not.’ Another lie. Because she was upset. Upset that she’d buckled to her searing attraction to the infuriating man, who displayed enough warning signs to send her running. And furious that she couldn’t be certain, given half a chance, she wouldn’t do it all over again.

      ‘He...he said he doesn’t trust people.’ What was that about? Just her? Women in general? The entire world?

      ‘He is a bit closed off...’ A small sigh.

      Closed off? A massive understatement. She’d need a pickaxe to excavate Ash’s psyche.

       No. Focus on the sex. Control that.

      What was she thinking?

      No more sex.

      Her voice squeezed past strangled vocal cords. ‘How are you two friends? You’re such a lovely, warm person.’ Ben and Ash had known each other a long time. Essie’s stomach clenched. She’d gatecrashed a long-standing friendship with her ill-judged fling. But it was over now.

      Ben chuckled and then went silent. ‘He wasn’t always so...uncompromising. It’s not my story to tell, but let’s just say he was badly hurt by an ex.’

      Something they shared in common.

      ‘It’s left him with trust issues that make him a bit cynical.’

       Cynical. Controlled to the point of snapping.

      Of course a broken love affair would be to blame. Essie knew both first-hand and professionally that only relationships had the emotional power to wreak such long-lasting havoc. The psychologist in her longed to probe Ash’s secrets in light of this new clue, her resolve to ignore him stretched paper thin.

      The least she could do, for Ben’s sake, was try to give the exasperating man the benefit of the doubt professionally while giving him a wide berth personally. Ben deserved better than returning from his business trip to find his partner and his manager at each other’s throats.

      Perhaps, with a little subtle digging, she could help him deal with whatever held him back. Because if she knew anything, she knew Ash Jacob was on the run from something. Not a crime...more like a battered heart. СКАЧАТЬ