The Mills & Boon Sparkling Christmas Collection. Kate Hardy

Чтение книги онлайн.

       CHAPTER TEN

      XAVIER WOKE WITH a start, his bare shoulders cold, but the warmth of Tilly’s body curled against his was a stark reminder of what had happened last night. Once again they’d spent the night in each other’s arms.

      He’d experienced how loving could be and had wanted to be loved by her, and not just physically. But Tilly had made it clear it was only one more night, the last time before they returned to their normal lives. This was just a fling to her.

      He reminded himself again that he didn’t deserve anything remotely like love. Not when he’d broken a family apart as easily as his bike had smashed. He dragged his thoughts back to Tilly. Had she been sent to punish him?

      She’d been distant as she’d left the lounge last night and he still didn’t understand what had compelled him to go to her room. He’d known it was wrong to want her and he’d turned away, remembering how she’d told him the previous night had been a mistake. But there had been moments today when she couldn’t deny what had exploded to life between them. Or was it merely her damn list?

      He’d wanted her again but had turned back, accepting if she had wanted to be with him she wouldn’t have made her excuses and gone so early to her room. But at the top of the stairs he’d sensed her, had felt her gaze on him. She too must have been drawn by the same need. Although this time he’d had no darkness to conceal how underserving of such a moment he was. But it hadn’t mattered.

      He relaxed a little, the curtains at the corner of the big four-poster bed partially cocooning them, and he watched her sleep, felt every breath she took and inhaled the scent that was uniquely Tilly. Her claims of yesterday morning burned into his mind. He had been nothing more than a challenge to banish demons from her past, to rid herself of Jason. Had last night been to make sure she had achieved that?

      He moved away from her, the soft sigh as she stirred making him drag in a deep breath against the rise of desire. Whatever her reaction was going to be when she woke up, he didn’t want to deal with it—not yet. He needed to steel himself against the moment she would turn her back on him.

      It was only a matter of time before the passion they’d shared for a second night was obliterated by the harshness of daylight, just as it had been yesterday. He had to send her away. He had to end it, whatever it was.

      He unwound himself from her warm body and got out of bed, pulled on his clothes and slipped from the room. He didn’t trust himself to glance back at the woman asleep in his bed. He couldn’t. Everything was becoming far too complicated. It had been more than a lust-filled night. He’d never wanted to feel anything more than basic desire for her. Yet she’d crept under his defences, giving him hope that maybe he did deserve to love, that he could put everything behind him.

      But that wasn’t enough for him. She’d seen beyond the scars on his legs but would she see past his guilt? His actions on the track had killed Paulo—his friend. If he couldn’t forgive himself, nobody else would.

      He glared at the Christmas tree as he went down the stairs, muttering curses beneath his breath. Had the damn thing cursed him? No, he’d done that all by himself.

      He marched into the small lounge and glanced out of the window. Thankfully it hadn’t snowed again. At least he could organise to get them away from here. He picked up his phone from the desk and as he turned he saw the fire, now just a mass of grey cold ashes. It had been as hot as the passion between him and Tilly when they’d spent the night beneath throws in front of it.

      He cursed fluidly in Italian. He and Tilly could never be together. She was far better off without him in her life. He was being selfish to want her. For once in his life he’d think of someone else. It was, after all, just a fling to get over another man she’d wanted.

      Angered by that thought, he quickly accessed his emails, sending a message first to Paulo’s widow, warning her he might not make it to her charity event in Milan, then to a friend in London, explaining the situation and asking if they could source a car and driver who could cope in the conditions as quickly as possible, stressing it had to be today. He pressed ‘send’ but it didn’t make him feel relieved at all. It only highlighted that he couldn’t spend another night with Tilly, although he wanted many more nights such as last night.

      ‘Morning.’ Tilly’s voice broke into his thoughts as she walked into the room, dressed once more in her jeans and black roll neck jumper. ‘Thank goodness it didn’t snow any more in the night. Maybe we can leave today.’

      ‘Buon giorno.’ Part of him wished it had snowed, wished that it was so deep they’d be here for days, locking them away from the world and reality in a place where they could explore the desire that raged between them. ‘I’ve made enquiries about someone fetching us today.’

      Their eyes met and in those few seconds he thought he saw sadness in hers, but then it was gone. ‘Good,’ she said with obvious relief, walking to the window, looking out as the rising sun cast an orange glow on everything. ‘It looks so pretty out there, but it must be cold.’

      ‘Freezing.’ He joined her at the window, resisting the urge to stand too close. If he did, he’d want to take her in his arms and kiss her. Such thoughts had to be pushed firmly from his mind, for her sake. Their time together was almost over. The real world called.

      * * *

      Tilly stood by the window, looking out at the snow, desperately trying not to notice the way her heart leapt just because Xavier had moved closer. Again he’d left her as daylight had returned. Alone in his bed, the bed he’d carried her to. It had given a clear message, just as she had when they’d met on the landing. By leaving her this morning he was saying it was over, which made it easier, because if he’d kissed her again...

      As he stood looking out at the snow he didn’t make any reference to last night. Despite what she’d told him, part of her hoped that at least he would acknowledge their night together. If that didn’t tell her it was over, nothing did, but the sense of loss which filled her was intense.

      By this evening she would be back in her flat. All she wanted now was to leave this place and go back to her life as if their paths had never crossed, although her bucket list would be one item shorter.

      She turned away from the window, the cold and lifeless hearth of the fire signifying her moment out of reality was over. She didn’t know how long she could keep up the pretence of indifference when every nerve in her body was screaming for him.

      ‘When do you expect someone to arrive?’ She all but snapped the words at him in an attempt to stay in control of her battered СКАЧАТЬ