Because Of You. Kristina O'Grady

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СКАЧАТЬ team he should support and the next minute he said we couldn’t stay together anymore. I just don’t know what went wrong.’

      Beth lifted her head from her hands and looked at Kelsey in confusion. ‘What do you mean he asked you what team he should support? He’s a huge Flames fan.’

      ‘Yeah, I know but he kept asking what team we should get behind. I said I’d support whatever team he wanted to and that I would get us season tickets and all that.’

      ‘But you like the Oilers.’

      ‘Yes, I know, but I thought it would just be easier if we both supported the same team. Besides, he’s a Flames fan, I should at least like the same team as him, right?’

      ‘No, Kels, you shouldn’t. Don’t you see what he was doing?’

      ‘Trying to pick what team to support. That’s what I’ve been telling you.’

      ‘No, honey, that’s not it.’ She reached out to Kelsey again, ‘He was trying to get you to make a stand for what you believe in. Don’t you see? By trying to always please him, you were kinda smothering him. He needs someone who can be their own person.’

      Kelsey pulled away from her. ‘What, so you’re an expert on Mark now? You don’t think we belong together, is that it? Are you on his side? Jesus, Beth, I thought you were my friend.’ Kelsey got up from the table and left the room. ‘You can leave anytime you want,’ she shouted from down the hall. It was clear from her tone it wasn’t an invitation to stay and make herself at home.

      Beth got up from the table and went to Kelsey’s room where she knew she’d be hiding. She didn’t try to go in but spoke through the closed door. ‘That’s not what I meant, Kels. I honestly thought you two were going to get married one day. It’s just that I know Mark. He loves hockey. He wouldn’t be able to understand how you couldn’t support the team you love just because he likes the other team. He’s a man, you have to remember their brains don’t work like ours. I’m sorry I upset you. I’ll show myself out. I’ll call you tomorrow, okay?’ Beth couldn’t wait to get out of Kelsey’s house. Her head hurt and her heart felt like it was slowly breaking. She could actually feel its pieces falling into her stomach.

      She slowly walked to her truck where once inside she sat for a few minutes with her head resting on the steering wheel. She still hadn’t told Kelsey what really happened at Mark’s today. How was she going to be able to find the words for that? And how was their friendship going to survive that revelation? If Kelsey ran away and hid from her when she thought Beth was ‘on his side’, how was she going to react when Beth told her they’d had sex this morning?

       Chapter 4

      Beth absentmindedly reached for her phone and dialled the familiar number.

      ‘I’m sorry, the number you have dialled is no longer in service.’ The automated voice on the other end of the line shocked her out her dream.

      She dropped the phone in its cradle and buried her head in her hands. After all this time, sometimes she still forgot. Mornings were the worst. Remnants of dreams still filtered through her mind upon waking and sometimes it was easy to forget her reality.

      The worst thing was the pain. It was like losing her sister all over again. And mornings such as these, she relived the last few weeks of her sister’s life all over again.

      One would think the pain would’ve lessened over the last two years. It hadn’t.

      Beth curled herself up into a ball and let the memories take over. She knew there was no point trying to fight them.

      Her older sister was twenty-five when she was diagnosed with stage IV breast cancer. From the beginning there really wasn’t much hope for her, but Rachel was determined to squeeze as much life as she could into the time she had left. She’d even gone into remission for a while and life, for a brief moment, had gone back to normal. Rachel moved home and started painting again and Beth applied to cooking schools all across the country.

      But it wasn’t to last. Three and a half weeks was all it took for the cancer to take her sister away when it came back.

      They’d all gathered around her bed and waited. Waited for her to live. Waited for her to die. Those last weeks were the longest of Beth’s life. And the shortest. They were filled with laughter and with tears. When Rachel slept, Beth spent her time begging God to take her instead. But, in the end, he didn’t listen. He took her sister in the dead of night. Ben was with her when she’d died. She’d taken Mom and Dad home to have a shower and get some sleep.

      Perhaps that was why mornings were always the hardest. She’d woken on that last morning to Ben’s voice on the other end of the phone telling her that her best friend was gone for ever.

      ‘Rachel,’ Beth said into the empty room, ‘I need you.’

      A single tear tracked down her cheek as she spoke to her sister. She took a deep, shaky breath and carried on the one-sided conversation, curling herself into a tighter ball.

      ‘Mark and I slept together,’ she whispered. ‘I know, I know. He’s supposed to be with Kelsey. Everyone thought they would get married. Okay…maybe not you. You always said she wasn’t right for him.’

      Beth sat up and scrubbed her face with her hands, rubbing the tears into her skin.

      ‘It was amazing,’ she whispered, taking her hands away from her face. ‘Mark was so gentle and calm.’

      Beth rubbed at her eyes. They were sore and gritty. She’d been crying all night, ever since she’d gotten back from Kelsey’s, until she’d finally fell into a restless sleep at dawn.

      ‘I had to tell her,’ she said. ‘I couldn’t just let her think it was Helga. I couldn’t do that to either of them. It was the hardest thing to do, Rachel. But I couldn’t get all the words out. How do you tell one of your friends you slept with the man she thought she was going to marry? I couldn’t. I couldn’t bring myself to do it. But I know I have to.

      ‘I tried, but the words just wouldn’t come past my lips.’ Beth stood up and walked around her room, picking up objects she’d lived with for years and then putting them back down. ‘I did tell her Mark took me to his house because I was so drunk – which is true! I haven’t had that much to drink since your wake. I just left out the details, you know? I couldn’t hurt her like that. How am I supposed to look her in the eyes again?’

      Beth pulled on her bunny hug and a pair of sweats. She drew her blonde hair up into a messy ponytail without bothering to brush it first and looked at herself in the full-length mirror opposite her bed. Her hair was a mess and her eyes were puffy and red. Tear stains covered her cheeks. She looked like she felt – like shit.

      She opened the door into the hallway and padded softly down to the bathroom, not wanting to wake Helga if she was home.

      She was just spitting the toothpaste into the sink when she heard someone pull up, and by the time she splashed some water over her face, whoever it was was banging on the door.

      ***

      Mark stood on her front porch not sure what to do. She hadn’t answered his knock. He knew she was inside, her truck was out front and he could see the light on in her room upstairs, but he didn’t СКАЧАТЬ