Secrets of a Bollywood Marriage. Susanna Carr

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      CHAPTER TWO

      TINA COULDN’T DRAG her gaze away from Dev. She saw the storm in his eyes but he didn’t move. The air between them crackled. A tremor swept through Dev’s body as he forcibly restrained his anger. “You’re not thinking straight,” he said hoarsely.

      How many times had she heard him say that? “So you’re going to do it for me? No thanks.” He had tried to take over her life. And for a while he had succeeded. She had been too grief-stricken, in too much in pain, to care.

      Dev closed his eyes. “I never should have taken you to Los Angeles.”

      “Why did you?” She refused to respond to the agony in his voice. Although she had felt too weak to travel, Dev had insisted she accompany him to the United States while he filmed several scenes for his blockbuster movie. She’d like to think Dev had been so in love with her that he couldn’t imagine spending a night apart. Instead, she’d barely seen him. She had been alone and isolated. At times she’d felt like she was being punished for some unknown reason.

      Dev slowly opened his eyes and glared at her. “You needed someone to look after you. You were not yourself after the miscarriage.”

      His gaze clashed with hers and Tina’s skin went cold. Miscarriage. He said the word with no problems but it had the power to send her into a tailspin. It still dragged her to those tense moments when the fear choked her. When she was alone, making wishes and prayers that went unanswered. When the doctors told her that she had lost her baby son.

      “Not myself? How would you know?” she asked. “You weren’t there. You made it very clear that you didn’t want to be married anymore. That there was no longer a reason.”

      His breath hitched audibly in his throat. “Is that how you see it?”

      Tina looked away. She didn’t want to think about how Dev had no interest in her, especially after she’d lost the baby. Not now, not when the dark and confusing emotions were rolling through her. “You were the first to walk away. What else am I supposed to think?”

      Dev sighed heavily and speared both hands through his hair. “I didn’t walk away—you pushed me away. You wouldn’t talk to me or look at me. You moved out of the bedroom and—”

      Tina’s head snapped back. “Excuse me for grieving!” she hissed. She wasn’t going to allow Dev to treat her emotions as weakness. “We all can’t shake it off and return to our normal life the day after the loss of our son.”

      “Don’t.” Dev took a step forward. “Hate me all you want, Tina, but don’t you dare suggest that I wasn’t grieving. I didn’t have the luxury of hiding away from the world.”

      His words were like a punch to the chest. Tina flinched as she stared at him with wide eyes. “Luxury?” He made it sound as if she’d had a choice. As if she’d willingly surrendered to the grief that almost suffocated her.

      Dev stared at her with a mesmerizing intensity. “You seem healthier than you did four months ago.” He looked deep into her eyes and gave a satisfied nod. “Stronger.”

      He had no idea, Tina realized. She could stride into the house as if she were a queen and confront her enemy with the daring of a warrior, but it was all an act. Four months ago she had been broken, but Dev’s indifference had crushed her. She had tried to put the pieces back together but she didn’t think she would feel whole or strong again.

      “I know how to take care of myself. I’ve done it most of my life,” Tina said. There had only been one time when she couldn’t. After the miscarriage, she had wanted to lean on Dev until she got stronger. Instead, he had taken advantage of her weakness. “But I’m not here about that.” She needed to get this over with so she could move on with her life.

      “How do you feel now?”

      Powerless. Heartbroken. Determined. “I’m ready for the next step of my life.”

      Dev didn’t move but Tina sensed his stillness. His tension. It was as if he could predict what she was about to say.

      Tina’s heart started to race. It fluttered wildly against her rib cage and it hurt when she took a deep breath. “I want a divorce.”

      “No.”

      She blinked at his immediate reply. Unlike her husky words, his refusal was clear and unemotional. “What do you mean, no?”

      “We are not getting a divorce,” he announced as he took another step closer. There was a wintry cold glint in his eyes. “I will fight you every step of the way.”

      Tina stared at him as her confusion rolled in like dark clouds. That was not the answer she had expected. She had imagined this moment many, many times and assumed Dev would agree with a brisk, almost impatient manner. It was obvious he didn’t want her anymore. Why continue this sham of a marriage?

      “I’m offering something we both want,” she whispered.

      “I want an explanation. I want to know what was going through your head during those days we were in America. How do you think it made me feel walking into that hotel room and finding that the only thing waiting for me was that note?”

      Tina frowned at his tone. Her brief letter had offended him. Angered him. He was lucky she had given him that much. She could have poured out her broken heart, but instead she’d simply stated that she wanted to be left alone.

      “Where did you go?” he asked.

      “Around. Anywhere quiet where I could think. Where you couldn’t make decisions for me,” she said. “I needed time to decide what I want to do next.”

      Dev tossed his hands up in the air as the frustration billowed from him. “You didn’t have to leave to do that.”

      But she had. Dev had too much power. She didn’t know why he’d bothered making decisions for her. At times she wondered if he had forgotten her existence. “You took over my life.” Her voice trembled as she tried to keep her composure.

      “I was taking care of you the best way I knew how,” he said through clenched teeth.

      “No, you were getting back to your old life with as little inconvenience as possible,” she said. “I was no longer pregnant with your child and therefore, no longer necessary in your life.”

      Dev reached out and grasped her arms with his large hands. “If that’s how I’d felt, I wouldn’t have married you.”

      “You had to marry me. What would have happened to your brand if you hadn’t?” His family had meticulously created his brand image for years as the romantic hero. The value and power of his brand would have taken a big hit if he had abandoned his pregnant girlfriend. “So you married me to protect your career. The magazines did features about how you had settled into family life but they didn’t know how eager you were to return to your bachelor days.”

      “That is not what happened.” His fingers dug into her arms. Tina sensed he wanted to shake her.