What the Heart Knows. Margaret Daley

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СКАЧАТЬ you know how hard it can be to start a new life.”

      “Yes,” he clipped out, downing half his water in several gulps.

      “I married John when I was twenty. I’ve never had a career and I don’t have to work now. But suddenly I’m finding my life isn’t fulfilling, the way it was when my family was whole. I still take care of Mark and the house, but everything has changed. It’s as though I’m at sea adrift with no place to go.”

      “Have you thought about getting a job?”

      Kathleen nodded. “But with the way Mark’s been behaving lately, I don’t think I should. Maybe if things are better when he starts school in two months, I’ll try to find something to do.”

      “You can always volunteer. We could use someone to organize volunteers at our hospital. Or I could always use an extra person to help with the youth group at church.”

      Kathleen sipped her lukewarm orange-spice tea. “I’ll think about that. I used to volunteer at Mark’s school in Shreveport, as well as at our church. I enjoyed doing both of those jobs. If I’d finished college, I probably would have gone into a career as a social worker or a teacher. I like working with people, helping them.”

      “That’s one of the reasons I became a doctor. I suppose you could say fixing problems is a passion of mine.”

      “Since I have a problem, I’m glad it is.”

      Jared settled back in his chair, relaxing totally as his gaze shifted to the large bay window. “Your yard is beautiful.”

      “I wish I could take credit, but the former owners must have loved yard work. They did a wonderful job landscaping. I like to drink my tea in the morning and look outside or sit on the deck if it’s not too hot. There’s something about a rock garden that’s soothing.”

      “The Hendersons, who owned this house, often worked wonders with the church garden. That’ll be a void we’ll have to fill.”

      Kathleen chuckled. “Don’t look at me. If I can’t find someone to do my yard, this may be the best you’ll see.”

      “Actually I was thinking of taking over that job at the church. I love to work in the yard, get my hands dirty. One of my favorite things is to commune with nature.”

      “I love to commune with nature, too, like a connoisseur who appreciates fine art but doesn’t actually paint.” Their gazes connected, forming a momentary bond between them. “But I haven’t done any communing with nature lately. John, Mark and I would go out—” Her voice trailed off into silence. That life was over. She had to move on—quit thinking about the past.

      “Go where?” Jared asked, his gaze returning to the yard, breaking the bond.

      She flattened her back against the chair, the wooden slats pressing into her. “Camping and hiking. Also on trips into the bayous.” A long time ago, she thought. She’d come home to start a new life.

      “With snakes and alligators?”

      “Yes.”

      “I’m impressed. I could never get my wife to go anywhere outdoors with Hannah, Terry and me.”

      “She didn’t like being outside?”

      “No.”

      Again a shutter fell over his features, clearly putting an end to the direction of the conversation. A finely honed tension sprung up between them. The atmosphere shifted, and she wished the past had remained in the past. Each was uncomfortable talking about their deceased spouses.

      Silence prevailed while Jared popped the last bite of bread into his mouth, then finished his water.

      “How long have you lived in Crystal Springs?” Kathleen asked, needing the conversation to head in a more neutral direction.

      “Ten years. My wife wanted to live near her mother. What made you move back home?”

      “My family.” My need to put down roots in a familiar place, she added silently. To control the direction my life is taking.

      “Family is important.”

      “I’m hoping being around mine will help Mark. It’s becoming more obvious each day that my son needs more than I can give him, especially after last night at the church.”

      “You don’t have just your family to help you. I’m here, too. We’ll find an answer to what’s going on with Mark. How was he after he got home last night?”

      “He didn’t say much on the drive home or later. He went to his room and played his CDs—loudly.”

      “You said he’s still asleep. When did he go to sleep?”

      “Not until after four this morning.”

      A frown creased his forehead and slashed his mouth. “When did this sleeplessness begin?”

      “Six, seven, maybe eight months ago. It happened gradually. He would stay up later and later. By the end of school this year it was severely affecting his grades. He has always been a good student up until this year. He made several Ds and the rest were Cs. Do you think he’s suffering from depression?”

      “That’s a possibility. Hopefully I can spend some time with him, maybe convince him to come in for some tests. Did he say anything about coming to the youth group on Sunday night?”

      “He didn’t say no, which is a good thing. At least he’s thinking about it.” The oven timer went off and Kathleen removed the last loaf of bread. The aroma filled the kitchen with warmth and cozy thoughts.

      “Good. Getting him involved with people might help him.”

      Sitting back down at the table, Kathleen sipped at her now-cold tea. “Maybe. In the past few years my life has certainly changed. If you’d asked me two years ago what I was going to be doing now, I wouldn’t have thought this.”

      “Unexpected things happen in life.” He sighed, running his finger along the rim of the glass. “I don’t let it worry me too much. My life is in God’s hands.”

      Kathleen curled her fingers tighter around her empty mug and carefully placed it on the table. She used to think that until she’d lost John. “Have you ever wondered why bad things happen to good people?”

      “Like your husband dying?”

      “Yes.” Her chest tightened, trapping her breath.

      “God has a plan for us. We don’t always know what it is. If we put our trust in Him, He will show us.”

      Kathleen stared down at her mug. “When John first died, I couldn’t bring myself to pray or go to church. I only started attending again recently.” She brought her gaze to Jared’s, his image blurry. “John was such a good man. I still don’t understand why he had to die so young. A freak accident took him away just like that.” She snapped her fingers.

      “Maybe John fulfilled what God had planned for him. He’s now with our Lord in heaven. That’s СКАЧАТЬ