The Cowboy's Surprise Baby. Ali Olson

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СКАЧАТЬ As it was, he already felt claustrophobic despite the wide-open sky and the large animal between them.

      Amy swung herself off the horse, wincing when she dropped her weight onto one foot, and if he’d been any closer, he would have automatically put his arms on her waist to steady her. He was almost glad for the distance between them, since he wasn’t sure what touching her would do to him. “Are you okay?” he asked.

      She nodded. “Twisted my ankle a while back, and it still gives me trouble sometimes.”

      Jack almost said something, anything, to keep the conversation away from the tough stuff, but he kept his mouth shut. It was finally time to talk about what had happened between them.

      Amy seemed to think the same thing, because she walked over and sat down on the tailgate, reins in her hand, and sighed. “For what it’s worth, I’m sorry. About not calling you,” she said, her voice quieter, softer than he remembered ever hearing it before. “I was a coward not to talk to you about what was going on.”

      He waited while she took a deep breath, and for a brief moment he considered stopping her right there. If whatever she was going to say took a decade to come out, maybe he didn’t want to hear it. Maybe, if she never said anything, they could just start where they’d left off...

      He brushed away the crazy idea. He needed to know.

      “A few days after graduation, while you were gone on your family trip, I went to the doctor.”

      His mind filled with possibilities, some of them terrifying, though none of them made sense. Was she sick? If she had been ill for the last decade, she certainly didn’t show it. She looked as beautiful as she had at seventeen, even more so, with the air of confidence she seemed to exude now, even when she was near tears.

      Had she gotten pregnant? That seemed like an odd reason for her to run from him, since she would have known, even at that young age, that he would be more than happy to raise a child with her. They had been talking about having a family together nearly the entire time they were together.

      His mind flitted back to illness. What if she was sick? Deathly sick? And he didn’t know?

      He waited, the pit of his stomach tense, for what the doctor might have told her that had made her disappear from his life.

      “I found out that I can’t have kids, Jack. Ever. I left because you deserved to be with someone who could give you the family you’ve always wanted.”

      Jack felt a combination of pain and relief. He turned to look carefully at Amy. “But you’re not sick or anything?” he asked.

      “Except for not being able to have children, I’m fine—”

      “It’s you I cared about, Amy, not whether or not you can make babies. Hell, you’re adopted. You know better than anyone that there are other options, if we wanted kids.”

      Jack had never felt so relieved, yet at the same time he was sad for all the years together they had lost. Sure, he’d wanted kids, but this was Amy. What he’d always wanted, more than anything, was her.

      Amy still looked somber. “You say that now, Jack, and I know you would’ve said that then, but the years would have gone by and you’d have wished we could have children. Your children. Even if you didn’t, I’d always wonder if you did. I didn’t want that to fester underneath the surface, ruining our relationship.”

      “So you left?” Jack asked, searching her face.

      Amy looked away from his eyes. She seemed embarrassed. “I couldn’t break up with you. I know I never would’ve been able to make myself say the words to you. And since I couldn’t let myself stay with you, leaving felt like my only option. I’m sorry for doing that to you, Jack. I was a coward. You deserved better.”

      At last, a great weight disappeared from Jack’s shoulders. After years of wondering, at least he knew the answers to all his unanswered questions. Now there still seemed to be one question left: Where did he go from there?

      * * *

      AMY SAT ON the tailgate, chilled by the early-morning breeze and by her own thoughts. She waited for him to say something that would give her a clue as to what he was thinking. If he despised her cowardice, wanted nothing to do with her, she deserved it. She wouldn’t run from it anymore. She patted the mare’s soft muzzle absentmindedly, waiting.

      Finally, he spoke. “We should get your horse back to the barn,” he said, hopping off the tailgate and holding out his hand to her. “How about we walk there? I can come back for the truck.”

      She was speechless for a moment. The unexpected friendliness, the opening of a door she thought long closed, surprised her. When she took his hand, however, its warmth and steadiness rushed through her, and the spark of recognition and comfort that flowed through the link made her smile. Her hand felt right nestled in his, like they had never been apart.

      “Your hands are freezing,” Jack commented, pressing hers in both of his.

      She was warmed by more than his palms as he helped her stand, and their fingers lingered together for an extra moment before he let go to close his tailgate and pull his keys from the ignition.

      They began walking side by side toward her parents’ ranch along the road, the mare walking along behind them and occasionally batting Amy with her nose, as if anxious to move faster. Amy, though, wasn’t in any rush to finish the half mile or so walk. She didn’t want this intimate moment to be over too quickly.

      “I can’t believe you still have that old truck,” she told Jack, glancing back at the vehicle parked beside the field. “After all the times it broke down in high school, I never would have imagined it would last so long.”

      “I had to put a lot of work into it over the years, and it still has a few quirks,” Jack said, giving her a sidelong smile that went straight to her heart, “but I’ve loved it since I was a teenager. I could never just give up on it.”

      Amy blushed, feeling the words resonate through her, sure he was talking about more than just the truck.

      But no. Even if they did, the facts of the situation had not changed. She still couldn’t have children, and he still deserved the chance to find a woman who could give him the family he’d always wanted.

      He had the chance, and it seems he never took it, she thought to herself. She couldn’t stop the heat from blossoming in her chest. It turned to ice as she put back up the walls she’d built around her heart in the past few days. She knew now better than ever that she couldn’t let herself get carried away with a man. Even if it was Jack.

      He stopped walking and turned toward her, and she did the same. Suddenly, she felt as if he was much too close, and at the same time too far away, and she longed to move closer. To touch his lips with hers. She took a step back.

      She was sure the feel of their lips, their bodies, together would also be on the list of things that hadn’t changed, and it scared her.

      “Will you go out with me tonight?” he asked, his voice low and deep.

      The word yes was on her tongue, but Amy balked. She couldn’t let them fall right back into the relationship she’d run away from, could she? What about all that had happened since? Would there just be too much between them? And she had no idea СКАЧАТЬ