A Baby on Her Christmas List. Louisa George

Чтение книги онлайн.

СКАЧАТЬ a lot less active during pregnancy so if I could manage two pregnancies in quick succession … if the IUI works, that is … IVF would be a whole different ball game.’

      Trying to keep up he lifted his palms towards her. ‘IUI? IVF? Slow down a bit. So you’re not thinking turkey baster? Or just plain old-fashioned sex? That is a relief.’

      ‘Believe me, I’ll do whatever’s necessary.’

      He didn’t doubt it. And finally the reality was sinking in. She was going to do the one thing he’d sworn never to do—and because he was her friend she’d expect him to be supportive. ‘So what tipped you over to the dark side?’

      And, yes, his reaction would not be what she wanted, but: a) he couldn’t help it and; b) he wasn’t prepared to lie just to make her feel better. It was precisely because of their friendship that he knew he could be straight up with her.

      ‘You are such a grump. For me there is no dark side. Being abandoned at two days old and having literally no one from then on in has made me want to feel part of something … a family. You know that. I just want what everyone else has, Liam—to feel loved, to be loved. To love. And I have no doubt that there will be some hard times, but I will never leave my baby on a doorstep for someone else to find, and condemn them to a life of foster-homes and social services, like my mum did to me. I will cherish any child I have. I’ve had my share of dark sides and being pregnant and a mother isn’t one of them.’

      Her nose wrinkled as she reached across and lightly punched him on the arm. ‘So, I was worried things were getting worse endo-wise, so I asked Malcolm to run some more tests at work a few weeks ago.’ Her hands palmed across her abdomen—subconsciously? Possibly. Protective? Definitely.

      ‘You’ve been having more pain? Oh, God, I’m sorry, Georgie. That sucks. Really, I thought you were managing okay.’ Liam hated that. Hated that even though he fixed people up every day he didn’t have the answers to Georgie’s problems and that they were running out of solutions as time ticked on. His heart thumped in sync with the music, hard and loud in his chest. ‘What did he say?’

      ‘That the endometriosis is indeed getting worse. That everything in there’s getting blocked up and scarred and it won’t be long before I’ll need pretty major surgery. That it’s only a matter of time before pregnancy is going to be nigh on impossible. At least, without a whole lot of effort and money and no promises at the end.’

      Her eyes filled with tears. Which, for Georgie, was such a rarity Liam sat there like a useless lump and watched in horror, unable to move. She was the strongest woman he knew. She’d faced tough battles her whole life and she never tired of fighting. No matter how ridiculous her plan sounded, his heart twisted to see her hurting. ‘You know how much I need this, Liam. I thought you’d understand. I thought you’d support me. You know, like good friends do? I’ve been there for you regardless and I kind of hoped you’d feel the same.’ Her hand reached for her gut again. ‘This idea? This is a good thing.’

      It was the worst thing he’d ever heard. ‘And so who is going to provide the …?’ He couldn’t bring himself to say the word. For an accomplished medic he had trouble imagining what went on behind closed doors at the IVF clinic.

      ‘Sperm? I’ve decided I’m going to ask Malcolm.’

      ‘What?’ Liam almost choked on his beer. ‘Your boss?’

      ‘And that’s wrong, why? He’s smart. Not unattractive. Owns a successful IVF clinic and has helped thousands of women achieve their dreams, so he’s compassionate too. Those are all the right kind of genes I’d look for in a father for my child.’

      ‘He’s still also your boss.’

      She hip-planted both hands. ‘And I’m pretty sure he’d want to help. He sees this kind of thing every day, so to him it’s not an unusual request. I’ll ask him to sign a contract to keep things simple. I have enough money put by to keep me going for a while and the clinic has agreed to reduce my hours after maternity leave.’

      Maternity leave. Contracts. That sounded far from simple. And the money she had put by was supposed to be for renovations to help her become more financially independent. ‘Seems like you have it all figured out.’

      ‘He knows how much I want this. How much I need to know DNA and family history. It’s been my life’s dream. Just a little … expedited.’ She gave him a smile at their shared joke.

      Liam didn’t feel much like laughing. Sure, she’d talked about this on and off over the years but now the reality hit him in the gut like a two-ton truck. She wanted a baby. A family. Kids. ‘Surely asking your boss is downright unprofessional. Unethical.’

      ‘A friend helping a friend? Since when did that cross any kind of line?’

      ‘Where would you like me to start?’ It crossed more lines than Liam cared to think of. It would be like … like if he offered to father her child. Ridiculous. Ludicrous.

      Wouldn’t it?

      The thought flitted across a corner of his mind. He pushed it away. Ludicrous indeed.

      ‘Malcolm saw how upset I was at the results.’ As she spoke she seemed to loosen up a little. Determined, but calm. ‘I’ve asked to have a meeting with him next week. If he says no then I’ll have a rethink.’

      ‘It sounds messy to me. How about using one of the anonymous donors at the clinic? You get to know about their family history, too. You can choose anyone that ticks your fifteen pages of boxes.’ He didn’t know why someone anonymous fathering her child seemed like a better option. It just felt better. A long way from right, but better. ‘And why didn’t you ask me?’

       What the hell?

      He didn’t even know where that question had come from. As she stared at him his chest tightened.

      ‘Is that what this is all about? You’re upset because I didn’t ask you? Honestly? The man who comes out in hives when he even sees a baby?’ As soon as the words left her mouth she closed her eyes and pressed her lips together. Too late. After a beat or two she slowly opened her eyes again and winced. ‘Oh, my God, I’m sorry. Really. I’m sorry, Liam. I am. I didn’t mean … I’m so sorry. But I just know how you feel about families.’

      ‘Do you?’

      She looked surprised at his question. Probably because he’d kept his past to himself and never spoke about what he wanted for the future. But families and babies were something he definitely had an aversion to. No, not an aversion, just a deep desire not to go there. Ever.

      Her voice softened. ‘Since you always refuse to talk about anything deeper than what you had for lunch, I have to surmise. You have a track record of emotional avoidance. So I’ve always assumed that big loving, meddling, messy, happy families aren’t something on your wish list. In all honesty, you’d be the last person I’d ask. And, judging by your current reaction, I think I’m right.’

      ***

      Liam’s face was all shadows and hollows. His blue eyes had darkened to navy. Only once before had Georgie seen him look so utterly haunted, and that had been the day they’d met and she’d forced him to work on that newborn.

      Later that night, when they’d gone for the first of many subsequent beers, the alcohol had made СКАЧАТЬ