Born Bad. Josephine Cox

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СКАЧАТЬ style="font-size:15px;">      Holding the cornet carefully with both hands, Tom curled his tongue along the ice cream. ‘He can share mine if he likes!’

      ‘’Spect he’s got his mind on other things, eh?’ Leaning down to hand the nipper his threepenny bit change, the man glanced across at Harry, thinking how sad the young fella looked. He could only have been in his thirties, yet he was bent and haggard like an old man. Curious, the older man observed Harry a moment longer, before turning away to serve his other customers.

      A few moments later, still heavy of heart yet openly smiling and chatting for his son’s sake, Harry led Tom along the Esplanade and on towards where the car was parked near the statue of George III. ‘Are we going to see Mammy now?’ the boy asked eagerly.

      Harry took a moment to answer, his gaze sweeping the child’s appearance. His thick mop of dark hair stood up as though in fright, and the pink strawberry sauce was plastered around his mouth. Oh, how he loved this child, and Sara … his Sara … his precious, wonderful Sara!

      Swamped with emotion, he took the boy by the hand and ran him across the road.

      ‘Just look at the state of you!’ he said huskily. ‘We’d best clean you up, before your mammy sees you.’

      Slurping on his ice cream, the boy ran and skipped, laughing heartily while his father pretended to chase him.

      The boy did not fully realize the situation, but things had begun to change some time ago, when he had sensed a sadness in his parents. When he was near they smiled and pretended that everything was all right. But when they thought he was not looking, they would hold each other for a long time and never let go. Then his mammy went off to hospital, and the house felt so lonely without her.

      When, just now, the sadness touched him, he thought of Jack.

      Jack was a frog he had caught from the brook in his long-handled net.

      He loved that frog; he fed it and cared for it, and even made a little pool for it to swim in, with plants to hide under, and when he called its name it would come hopping out to see him. One day, Jack went away and he never saw him again.

      Tom was upset for a time. Then his daddy got him another frog who looked exactly like Jack, and that was fine. He remembered it clearly. When he was sad about Jack, his daddy had put it right, so now whenever he was sad, he believed his daddy would put that right too.

      There was nothing to fear, no one to hurt him, because his daddy was here. In Tom’s little world everything was warm and wonderful, and that was how it should be.

      As they walked on, Harry chatted to his son, and for a while his heart was quieter. His world had crumbled about him, but so far, the child had been protected.

      ‘Daddy, look!’ The boy brought Harry’s attention to the flower barrow. ‘Yellow roses.’

      Remembering, Harry smiled. ‘Mammy’s favourites,’ he mused aloud. If she could have red, pink or yellow roses, she would always choose the yellow ones.

      ‘Can we take her some?’

      Leading the boy to the stall, Harry fished a handful of coins from his trouser-pocket. ‘Why don’t we get her a dozen, eh?’

      A short time later, the two of them were nearly back at the car, Harry deep in thought, and the boy alongside, clutching the bunch of roses in one hand and his melting ice cream in the other.

      With his sticky fingers, the boy threw the remains of the cornet to the seagulls. When they quickly swooped down and carried it away in their sharp beaks, the child was fearful. ‘You won’t let them hurt me, will you?’

      Harry reassured him. ‘I would never let anyone hurt you.’ Lifting the boy into his arms, he inwardly cringed at the knowledge that soon, the boy would hurt like never before.

      As he was bundled into the Hillman Minx, Tom asked, ‘Are we really taking Mammy home today?’

      ‘Yes, son.’ Starting the ignition, Harry fought back his tears. ‘Your mammy’s waiting for us right now, so we’d best get a move on.’ He cleared his throat.

      ‘Daddy?’

      ‘Yes, son?’

      ‘Why did Mammy send us away today?’

      As he moved off from the kerb and into the traffic, Harry recalled how Sara had been adamant that she needed a little time, that she wasn’t ready and they must come back later. ‘I think she wanted to make herself look pretty for us,’ he said eventually, and smiled to himself.

      His darling wife could be a bossy tramp when needed!

      ‘When we get Mammy, can we go to the park?’

      ‘That would be nice, but I don’t think so – not today, son.’

      ‘Why not?’

      ‘Because …’ Harry swallowed hard before going on. ‘Maybe we’d best leave it for another day.’

      ‘Look, Daddy! New baby ducks.’

      ‘I know, and I’m sure Mammy would love to do that, but … like I said, another day, eh?’

      ‘She will like her roses though, won’t she?’

      Harry nodded.

      ‘Can we go to the park for my birthday next week then?’

      ‘Mmm.’ Harry’s thoughts were elsewhere.

      The boy took his dad’s mumble as a yes. ‘Mammy said she’s got five candles for my cake. I’m a big boy now.’

      Harry smiled wistfully. ‘You certainly are.’

      ‘I’m starting school next week.’

      ‘Not next week,’ Harry gently reminded him. ‘It’s next term – in September.’

      ‘Oh.’ The boy was downhearted.

      ‘Hey, Tom, don’t be like that.’ Harry glanced at the boy in his mirror. ‘It’s only a few weeks away. It’ll be here before you know it.’

      The boy grinned. ‘I’ve got my red cap – and my black blazer,’ he said proudly.

      Harry played along. ‘Soon you’ll be all grown up.’ He recalled the day when Sara went shopping with Tom for his uniform, and how excited their son had been. Dear God! That was such a short time ago. So much had happened in between, it seemed like a lifetime.

      His thoughts retreated into the past. They say your bad deeds come home to haunt you. Was it true? he thought. When he had caused all that pain eighteen years ago, was the payback always lurking in the shadows?

      Deep down, he had always known his past would return with a vengeance. After all, it was what he deserved.

      But Sara did not deserve it.

      And neither did their son.

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