Lock Me In. Kate Simants

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СКАЧАТЬ managed to convince him I was pretty handy with repairs the first time I’d gone to his narrowboat. It was about a month after I’d first got talking to him at the hospital while I waited for Mum to finish her shift. For weeks, we’d accidentally-on-purpose bumped into each other before he properly asked me out. Our first real date was on a Saturday afternoon: a lazy lunch at a riverside pub. Matt invited me back to see the boat afterwards but had forgotten that he’d been halfway through laying new floorboards until we went inside.

      ‘Oh god, state of the place,’ he said, shoving the mess of cushions on the built-in sofa up to one end to clear a space for me. ‘Sorry, not a great start.’ He started lugging the new boards across from where they were propped by the log burner, roughly laying them into place to give us something to stand on.

      I sat where I was shown, but raised an eyebrow, flirty from the wine. ‘Start to what, exactly?’

      He glanced up, embarrassed, ‘I meant, I—’

      Nudging him with a toe, I put him out of his misery. ‘Kidding.’ And he laughed, and it felt good. Then, seized with the urge to show off, I got to my feet, rolled up my sleeves, and picked up a hammer from a pile of tools in the corner.

      ‘Let’s do it, then,’ I said, indicating the boards. ‘I’ll help you get this floor down.’

      He bit the corner off a wry smile. ‘You don’t strike me as the woodworking type.’

      ‘Stronger than I look.’

      ‘Oh yeah?’ He grinned, ran his eyes over me. I let him do it, my hands on hips, weighing the hammer in my hands. After that, it was a matter of pride to prove it.

      The memory of it split like a burning frame of celluloid the moment I heard the front door. I glanced at the time: Mum wasn’t due back for another half hour.

      She burst into my bedroom. ‘Has he rung?’

      ‘No. I’d have told you—’

      ‘OK. All right,’ she said, slumping slightly.

      ‘What’s happened? How come you’re early?’

      ‘I swapped cleaning sectors with Angie so I could leave early,’ she said, then she told me how she’d gone to the photographic lab where Matt worked, to see if Matt had been there. ‘There were two blokes talking outside his office, one of them said Matt’s name, so I hung around. He said he’d been to find Matt, hadn’t got anywhere, so he’d called the police.’

      It was probably Leon, I thought, the friend who’d called me before. ‘But the police weren’t actually there.’

      ‘No, but—’ she made a gesture with her hands, flustered. ‘Look – I just – are we still OK here? I mean, you’ve been careful, even with Matt, right? They’re not going to find the address?’

      I tried to hold her eye, but I couldn’t.

      She gaped. ‘Oh no, Ellie. What did you do?’

      ‘I’d been meaning to tell you,’ I said weakly. ‘It was when we were applying for the volunteering.’

      ‘You gave them our address?’

      ‘No, he did it. He didn’t know not to. I could hardly tell him not to, could I? How would I explain it?’

      ‘Well, fuck!’ She threw her free hand up. ‘Great! Wonderful, good work!’

      I wanted to say sorry, but she hated me apologizing.

      ‘I said this would happen. I said, the first time you brought him round. It was too big a risk. Didn’t I say?’ She went into her bedroom and started to rush about, pulling off her tabard and stuffing it into the washing basket. Then as if remembering, she went out to the kitchen and returned with the bag containing the wet clothes from that morning.

      As calmly as I could, I said, ‘Mum. Tell me what’s going on.’

      ‘Nothing! I just want to be prepared.’ She roughly pulled a shirt on and went to the dressing table, plonked herself down and pulled out her make-up. ‘They’re going to come here, aren’t they? The police. And they’re going to ask questions.’

      ‘So we answer them.’

      ‘Yeah?’ She spun round, a blob of foundation balancing on fingertip halfway to her face. ‘With what?’

      ‘How about the truth?’

      ‘We don’t know what happened! We’ve got no fucking idea what the truth is, have we?’

      I bit into my cheek until I tasted blood. I wasn’t going to cry.

      Mum applied the make-up, sighed and got up. She went to the bed and patted the place beside her.

      I sat, and she put an arm around my shoulders. ‘Come on then.’ She squeezed. ‘They’re going to come, so let’s think what we’re saying. Where had you been, last night?’

      ‘The pub, but—’

      ‘Which pub?’

      ‘Mum, why are we even—?’

      ‘Which one?’

      ‘The Windmill. He had an IPA; I had a lemonade.’

      ‘And people saw you.’

      ‘Yes. No. Not people we knew.’

      ‘You weren’t arguing?’

      ‘No! Why would we be?’

      She sighed heavily and went back to the mirror, flipped open a compact. ‘They’re going to ask you this, Ellie. You need to get this right. If they get a whiff that you might be hiding something, we’ve got trouble. They’re already going to have linked you to … what happened before. You do understand that, right?’

      ‘I’m not hiding anything!’

      She raised her eyebrows, then moved her gaze pointedly to my neck. Gave a loose, open-handed gesture to my shoulder, my hip. Siggy shuddered in the aches, as if she was part of them, like they were hers.

      Quietly, I said, ‘I’ll just tell them what happened.’

      ‘About the bruises?’ she said, incredulous.

      ‘He might be somewhere right now needing help, Mum!’

      ‘You can’t talk to them. Not yet. Not until we know what’s happened.’

      ‘But that’s what they do! That’s what the police do, they find out what happened!’

      She said nothing to that, but the rise of her eyebrows said, not always. I looked away. If there was one thing I did not want to be talking about right now, it was Jodie Arden.

      My eyes lighted on the bag of wet clothes from the morning. ‘What are you going to do with that?’ I asked, nodding to it.

      She СКАЧАТЬ