Название: Happily Imperfect
Автор: Stacey Solomon
Издательство: HarperCollins
Жанр: Биографии и Мемуары
isbn: 9780008322908
isbn:
My parents’ behaviour was a huge influence on the way we dealt with the divorce. It was their positivity that made our lives carry on so smoothly. There are lots of circumstances in which it is impossible to have that kind of break-up – I’ve discovered that in my own relationship history. It is also worth noting that it is completely out of any child’s hands as to how their parents deal with separation or divorce. It’s wholly up to them, and many may be unable to move on without conflict or difficulty. We all try to do the best we can.
It’s important to recognize also that the breakdown of relationships doesn’t necessarily define our parenting. We can make mistakes, or find we can’t deal with our exes as easily as perhaps we’d like. That doesn’t mean we’ve failed. It just means that real life is challenging and complex – and family relationships most of all.
I believe that my children can become whoever they want to become, despite our immediate family circumstances. I have to strive to be the parent I want to be, providing a happy and steady home for my boys that is full of love. It’s all I can do.
I try to stay positive and kind about all the people involved in raising my children, which, although it can be tough at times, it is of the utmost importance to me as being a single mum isn’t easy. That would be my main piece of advice to anyone who is reassessing their tribe right now.
My family is my backbone. Every day I give thanks for each and every one of them.
STAY POSITIVE
My parents were united as parents, regardless of what was going on between them, and they always spoke about each other in a positive light, with love and respect. I try hard to do the same with my own children and their fathers. It isn’t easy, none of this is, but when I look at how happy my boys are, I know it’s worth the extra effort.
How can you be more positive in your family relationships? Are there relatives or partners you can deal with more gently, or be more understanding about their troubles or behaviour? Can you stop yourself reacting in a negative way, even just a little? Your tribe is just that, your group of other flawed people trying to do their best, often in ways that may not be comfortable for you. It’s when I see this that I remember love is a verb, and I can choose to express it in my actions, even if that means biting my tongue.
CHAPTER 5
Recipes That Say Love (Version 1)
Getting a word in edgeways around our dining-table at mealtimes, especially on Friday night, was impossible unless you learnt to shout, make people laugh or debate passionately. With six siblings, and relatives coming out of the floorboards, we still have supper together on every Sabbath because it’s our tradition. I have at least fifteen people round my table.
Pretty much everything about my personality was formed round the dining-table. I learnt to talk really fast, like really fast, so I could get out what I needed to say before someone interrupted me. My head has always been filled with a million thoughts – and a million things to say. I guess my telly career thrives because of this so I’m very happy with this imperfection!
When you’re one of seven children, you aren’t heard if you don’t talk loudly. I learnt how to debate, how to engage in adult conversation, and I learnt about love. It was served up each evening amid the noise and the elbowing, the jokes and the occasional tears. Now, food for me is a form of love, and I serve it up to my boys every evening. I spend a lot of my life cooking. I see it as my service to my family, and all of it, absolutely all of it, expresses the love I feel for them. Friday-night dinner is the heart of our week, and has been since I was a child.
All these recipes are filled to the brim with love – the love oozes from them – and I dish it up unapologetically. I tell my boys I love them a hundred times a day, and that’s still not enough for me.
Nana’s Chicken Soup and Kneidlach
Nana always had a pot of her Jewish penicillin bubbling on the stove. Nowadays it would be described as ‘bone broth’ and sold for six pounds a pop in trendy Shoreditch, but it has been the staple of our lives. The chicken is usually a broiler bought from a kosher butcher so it has no giblets, but you can use any old chicken, though I’m told organic is best. This soup is meant to simmer from 7 a.m. to 7 p.m. for the best flavour but two hours is fine!
Serves 4
You’ll need:
For the chicken soup
1 x 1.5kg broiler chicken or any chicken will do
1 onion, peeled and roughly chopped
2 sticks of celery, roughly chopped
2 carrots, roughly chopped
1 chicken stock cube
250g rice noodles
For the kneidlach
2 eggs, lightly beaten
2 tablespoons oil or chicken fat
2 tablespoons soup stock or water
1 teaspoon salt
110g matzah meal or fine ground breadcrumbs
Place the chicken and the rest of the soup ingredients in a large pot, with enough water to cover. Bring it to the boil, then lower the heat and allow it to simmer for around 2 hours, topping up the water as necessary. Remove any fat that rises to the surface and keep to one side for the kneidlach.
Meanwhile, make the kneidlach. (Or you can buy them if you’re super-busy!) In a bowl, stir together the eggs, oil or chicken fat, stock or water and salt, then add the matzah meal or breadcrumbs slowly until the mixture is thick. Cover and put it into the fridge for 30 minutes, then form into small balls.
Half an hour before serving, remove the chicken and set aside. Add the dumplings to the soup to cook for 30 minutes.
Meanwhile, shred the meat from the chicken and place into serving bowls – you can return the bones to the stock pot for extra flavour. Drop in the rice noodles, and let them cook for 2 minutes.
Gently place the noodles and the cooked kneidlach into the bowls with the chicken meat, cover with hot broth and serve piping hot to appreciative diners. Amazing!
Friday-night Dinner Roast Chicken and Yellow Rice
Pretty straightforward, though Nana always made it taste amazing. It was always the centrepiece of Friday-night dinner, and reminds me of home, family and comfort. I have so many happy memories of those dinners, memories I try to recreate today at my own table.
Serves 4
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