Because Of You: A blazing hot cowboy romance. Kristina O'Grady

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СКАЧАТЬ sorry and I hope you can forgive me.’

      It felt like a knife was twisting in Beth’s stomach. Kelsey was not the one who should be apologising. ‘No, Kels, it’s me who needs who needs to say sorry. I wasn’t completely honest with you yesterday and I really need to tell you something.’

      Kelsey’s tinkling laugh came down the phone. ‘No, I think you were pretty honest in what you said to me. It got me thinking, and you’re right. I do try to please Mark all the time. I never stand up for what I believe in or fight for what I want. I never noticed that about myself before. Have I always done that?’

      Beth sat at the table with her hand over her mouth. Oh God, she moaned. If she could take back yesterday she would.

      ‘Beth? Are you still there?’

      The speech she’d prepared in the garden disappeared from her mind. She desperately tried to recall at least some of it.

      ‘Beth?’

      ‘I’m still here,’ she managed to force out. ‘You don’t need to apologise for anything at all, Kels.’

      ‘Yes I do,’ she said. ‘You were trying to help and all I did was snap at you and then run away like some spoiled brat. My behaviour all weekend has been horrible. I’ve done things I’m not proud of. And I’ve caused more trouble for someone who doesn’t deserve it.’

      ‘I think it’s safe to say that we’ve both done things this weekend we’re not proud of.’ That was sure the understatement of the year.

      ‘No, Beth, you don’t understand,’ Kelsey said. ‘I think I’ve ruined someone’s life. I’ve tried to take it back but now they are saying the story’s just too big. I just hope they change their minds.’

      Kelsey sounded really worried but Beth was sure she was over-reacting. ‘Trust me, Kelsey, What you’ve done has been nowhere near as bad as what I’ve done. And I didn’t mean to do it,’ she rushed. She needed to get the words out before she chickened out. ‘It just sort of happened. Not that I did anything to stop it at the time. I was a willing participant. I just wish I hadn’t been so drunk…or hungover…or whatever I was. I’m so sorry Kelsey. It was an accident. A total, complete mistake.’

      There was silence on the end of the phone for a moment and all Beth could hear was the sound of her own rapid breathing. She should be telling Kelsey all this in person rather than over the phone.

      ‘What is it you’ve done?’ Kelsey whispered. ‘Please tell me it’s not what I think it is.’

      ‘Kels…’

      ‘Please tell me you didn’t sleep with him,’ Kelsey’s voice was so quiet Beth could barely hear her.

      ‘I’m so sorry, Kelsey, it was an accident.’

      ‘An accident?!’ Her voice came thundering down the phone. ‘Crashing a car is an accident. Slipping over on ice is an accident. But how in the hell is having sex with my boyfriend an accident?’

      ‘But he’s no longer your boyfriend, Kelsey. You guys broke up weeks ago.’ Beth regretted her words even before she was done speaking them.

      ‘You are such a bitch, Beth. I hope you rot in Hell.’ Kelsey slammed the phone down so hard Beth’s ear rang in protest.

      Great. Not only could she not have Mark; she felt way too guilty to go down that road, she’d now also ruined her longest friendship. If she was honest with herself, there was no way she could expect Kelsey to ever forgive her for what she did. If the shoe was on the other foot, Beth knew she would have reacted much the same way.

      She looked around her kitchen. She loved this house. She’d made it into her home, and she couldn’t imagine living anywhere but on the ranch.

      But she knew staying in Bassville would be torture for not only herself, but for Mark and Kelsey too. The town was so small there was no way they could avoid each other for long. Besides, they all had the same friends. She couldn’t expect them to pick her over Kelsey. She was the one in the wrong. And, because she was Kelsey’s friend, they’d blame her for the mistake more so than Mark. He was, after all, just a man, and therefore expected to behave like an ass. But she was one of the sisterhood. She should’ve known better. She was lower than low. She was a man stealer.

      ‘Beth?’

      She could hear Helga calling her but she didn’t move from the chair.

      ‘What’s burning?’ Helga asked, walked into the kitchen. ‘Beth, what’s in the oven?’

      ‘What?’ Beth looked up distractedly, ‘Hmmm?’

      ‘There’s smoke coming out of the oven.’ Helga pointed to the oven where smoke was seeping out from around the door.

      ‘Oh My God!’ She jumped up, knocking over her chair and ran to the oven and opened the door. Smoke billowed out. Sitting in the middle of the rack was her roast beef, totally shrivelled up and ruined. Instead of being the juicy piece of meat she was hoping for she was looking at a lump of charcoal. She dumped it onto the counter and looked at the blackened mess.

      It was the last straw. Tears she’d been holding back since she’d got off the phone leaked out her eyes and coursed down her cheeks, dripping onto the hot glass of the open oven door.

      Helga reached around her to shut the oven door and turned it off. She gave Beth a hug and patted her on the back. ‘Oh, Beth, it’s okay. I’ll make us some sandwiches. It’s no big deal. Here, sit down.’ Helga led her over to the table and gently pushed her toward the chair she’d been sitting in moments before.

      Beth sat down hard on the chair, jarring herself back to reality. Her menu folder sat open on the table. She slammed it shut, got up and shoved it unceremoniously into the back of the cupboard where it belonged.

      At the back, out of sight.

      She should just throw the damn thing out. She couldn’t even manage to cook something as basic as roast beef, mashed potatoes and damn vegetables! She wasn’t fit to be a chef. She wasn’t good enough and she never would be.

      She swiped angrily at the tears still pouring from her eyes. Suck it up, Beth, you’re just not good enough. It was time to face facts. She was someone who loved cooking but she could never be a proper cook.

      She sat back down at the table, filled her wine glass to the brim and took a big drink. Is this what her life came to? A glorified maid? She looked at Helga, who was cleaning up the mess she’d made and for the first time since meeting her, she resented her presence. She just wanted to throw Helga out. And that frightened her. Who had she become? Helga was lovely. Here she was, washing the dishes and cleaning up the evidence of Beth’s fuck-up.

      She downed the rest of her wine and refilled her glass. ‘Helga, can you get my tablet for me, please?’

      Helga turned from the full sink, ‘Sure thing, honey.’ She dried her dripping hands and left the room to find it.

      While she was gone, Beth laid her head down on the table and closed her aching eyes. They were so raw from crying they felt like she had broken glass as lids.

      ‘Here it is, Beth, oh!’ Helga СКАЧАТЬ