Leveled: A Novella. Jay Crownover

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СКАЧАТЬ but you have to listen to what it’s telling you. I’m not saying that you shouldn’t push past the pain in order to get results, but you need to be able to tell the difference between something simply hurting and something being irrevocably damaged.”

      That was what condition I thought my heart was going to be in after I lost Remy, but now the twinges it was having, the twitches it was displaying at the nearness of this man made me wonder if it, like Dom, had been injured and pushed too hard to heal before it was ready.

      Dom’s dark head bent down so that he was looking at the tips of his tennis shoes. He put his hands on his lean hips and I saw his wide shoulders hunch forward. He looked like he was suddenly being weighed down with the truth of how serious his situation was and that his natural-born fight may have been doing more harm than good.

      “I just want to get back to how I was.”

      I reached out a hand before I could stop myself and put it on his shoulder. His skin was warm, vital and throbbing with so much life under my fingertips. His head jerked up at the contact and our eyes locked. It felt like the most meaningful conversation I had ever had was happening even though no words were exchanged as we looked at each other.

      “There is no going back but there is accepting your new normal.” That was one of the hardest lessons I had had to learn along the way.

      Those massive shoulders went back, his army-green eyes gleamed at me, and I almost passed out when the full impact of the sexy grin he unleashed hit me.

      “I’ll accept that there might not be any going back, but there is going forward and from where I’m standing what’s in front of me is anything but normal.”

      He might be a bruiser and far more blunt in his manner and with his words than I was used to, but as we continued to watch each other I had to admit it was a nice change of pace to see the intensity of the things I was feeling reflected right back at me.

      There was nothing subtle or hidden about Dominic Voss and that forthrightness was irresistible and a balm to the hidden parts of me that were just as broken as his body was.

       Chapter 3 Dominic

      I hurt all over.

      It was a different hurt than the searing and relentless pain that had taken up residence in my shoulder and leg since the accident, this was more of a constant ache, a heavy throb that lived deep in all of my muscles and reminded me every waking moment that there was still work to do. I always considered myself to be in excellent shape and worked hard to make sure that I could not only keep up with the bad guys but with all the other guys on the force. After spending a week getting my ass handed to me by Lando I understood that just being able to bench-press my own weight didn’t mean shit about being fit.

      He had me doing all kinds of things to build my strength back up and all kinds of things I had never done before to stretch the injured parts of my body out and build in new flexibility and elasticity I hadn’t even known I needed. I did everything he told me to do even when it felt like my joints were going to pop out of the sockets and even when it felt like my lungs were going to catch on fire and burn up. I couldn’t remember ever working as hard for anything in my life but the dull ache in my shoulder as I reached for the beer in front of me without a struggle or any kind of awkwardness reminded me that hard work and a little pain was indeed leading to results.

      I still had a slight limp but it wasn’t as noticeable and the mobility that I had gained back in my shoulder was mind-blowing considering the short amount of time I had spent with the sexy trainer. He pushed me hard and I in turn grumbled at him about it and flirted with him shamelessly, in part to keep my mind off of how hard the paces were that he was putting me through, but mostly because he was gorgeous and I found the way he ran hot and cold with me fascinating.

      He watched me the same way I watched him and occasionally when I tossed out an offhanded quip about our obvious attraction he would look like he was considering taking our relationship to a different level but he always shut it down and kept things coolly professional.

      “So why don’t you just ask him out?” Royal was sitting across from me in the bar I had asked her to meet me at for a drink after a particularly grueling round of therapy. She’d just gotten off of patrol and I could tell by the tight pull of her mouth and the shadows in her chocolate-colored eyes that it hadn’t been a great shift. I wanted to ask her what happened, but I honestly wasn’t sure I could handle the jealousy that would claw at me when she talked about doing the only thing I wanted to do.

      Royal was the best friend a guy could ever ask for and she knew me better than anyone, aside from my family. I didn’t have to go into details about the heady sexual tension that was pulsing between me and the handsome physical therapist: she could tell by all the things I wasn’t saying and by the frown that I couldn’t seem to shake.

      “Because I need his help more than I need to get laid, and I don’t want to offend him or make him uncomfortable if he’s flat-out not interested.” Even if he gave off very interested vibes when he thought I wasn’t paying attention.

      She made a face and pushed some of her long, auburn hair over her shoulder. What can I say? Redheads were my favorite, and she was the prettiest girl I had ever seen. I felt like I had been keeping her safe not only from overzealous boys but also from herself since the first moment we met. She always deserved more than to be just another pretty face and she worked hard to prove it. We were kindred spirits that way. No one had ever questioned my ability to do my job, but I never wanted to give them the chance to.

      “Well then, once you’re back to one hundred percent and back on the force, then you can ask him out and the worst that can happen is he can say no.”

      I grunted a response, because being rejected by Lando on a personal level really did seem like the worst thing that could happen, which was insane considering the reason I had him in my life in the first place.

      “I need to worry about getting my job back, not getting a date.” I lifted an eyebrow at her as she smiled a little sadly at me. “I miss it. I miss you. How’s the new partner working out?”

      She sat back in the seat across from me and fiddled with the label on her drink. Her dark brown eyes shifted to the tabletop and I saw her bite on her lip. I blinked a little and scolded myself for asking something I didn’t really want to know the answer to in the first place. Life went on whether I wanted it to or not and I could tell by her almost guilty expression that Royal was enjoying being on patrol with a cop that was not me.

      “It’s good. He’s good. It’s different working with someone that hasn’t known me since I was five, but I miss you, too, Dom, and I want you back at work as soon as possible.”

      I copied her pose and lifted a hand to rub it over the top of my short hair in frustration. “You want me back, but you don’t want to be my partner anymore, do you?”

      She flushed and tapped her fingers nervously on the side of her beer bottle. Royal was my best friend in the entire world and I would do anything for her, even if it meant letting her go.

      “When you fell off that building and I thought I was watching you die right in front of me it was the worst thing that had ever happened to me. I couldn’t be a cop in that moment because I was so worried about you and I couldn’t be a good cop after, because I was convinced it was my fault you got hurt. I don’t think about the new guy that way. He’s my partner, I have his back, we’re a team, but I don’t feel like my life is going СКАЧАТЬ