Holiday Baby. Jenna Mindel

Чтение книги онлайн.

СКАЧАТЬ

      “I have a lease. It doesn’t end until May, but the owner has agreed to let me break it early. I’ll liquidate inventory and then move on.” That plan didn’t feel quite right anymore.

      Cat didn’t look comfortable, considering the way she perched on the edge of the couch.

      “Relax, Cat, we’ll work this out.” He had no idea what he was talking about, but equally confusing was her anxiety. She had nothing to fear from him.

      If anyone should be scared, it was him. For the first time in his life, he’d fathered a child. He wasn’t sure how that would change his life but knew it would.

      She noticed the Bible on top of his journal and ran her fingers over the top. “And this? I didn’t think you were religious before—though I guess we never actually discussed it.”

      “True. I wasn’t interested in faith when we met. But since I’ve been here, I’ve found God. I surrendered my life to the Lord in that community church where your brothers attend.”

      “So, you know Zach pretty well?”

      Simon wasn’t sure about that, but he’d felt a certain kinship with the man. “Well enough, I suppose.”

      Opal fussed and Cat stood. “He’s not happy about this, you know.”

      “I can’t say I blame him.” Simon stood too. “Might I have another go at holding her?”

      Cat’s pretty blue eyes clouded over. They were the color of star sapphires he’d found in Sri Lanka. Finally, she nodded, picked up the baby and then settled her in his arms as she had before.

      Opal quieted, her eyes wide as she gazed up at him.

      That baby gaze hit him in the midsection. He ran his finger down the baby’s cheek, knowing he couldn’t abandon her.

      Simon didn’t know much about babies, but Opal struck him as a beautiful one. “You’re a pretty miss, aren’t you?”

      “She favors you, I think.” Cat looked as if she hadn’t meant to say that.

      “No, I’d say she’s pretty like her mom.” Simon stared at Cat, drinking in the sight of her. In all his imaginings of what he’d say if he saw her again, he’d never expected this. “I don’t have a clue where to begin.”

      Cat forced a smile. “I know.”

      Opal fussed before letting out a howl that made Simon wince.

      Cat gave an awkward laugh. “I’ve learned to interpret that cry. I was hoping to get home first, but apparently that’s not going to happen. Do you mind if I use your, uh, bedroom to feed her?”

      Simon felt his face flush. “By all means.”

      Watching her walk away, he clenched his jaw, remembering the last time she’d walked away, after the intimate night they shouldn’t have shared. Why hadn’t Cat taken— He halted that rabbit trail. Opal was as much his responsibility, maybe even more so. Cat had been cold and scared, thanks to the rain and the men they’d had to flee. She’d trusted him to keep her safe. Too bad he hadn’t kept her safe from him.

      He stepped into the kitchen and filled the teakettle with fresh water before placing it over a high heat. Rubbing the back of his neck, he considered all the things that went into caring for a baby. A monumental amount of things. He wasn’t ready for that.

      He prayed for direction but couldn’t grasp that settling of his spirit. The peace he’d recently realized now eluded him once again. Opal was a game changer and he had no idea of the rules or even how to play.

      By the time he’d fully steeped his tea bag, Cat came down the hall, carrying a sleeping baby.

      “Well, I’d better get going.” Cat could not look more beautiful. Her dark blond waves framed her face and wide blue eyes. And his child in her arms just made the picture prettier. He still had so many questions for Cat—about Opal, and about everything that had happened in the past year. They hadn’t scratched the surface of anything.

      “Why didn’t you contact me about Opal? I know I’m not the easiest person to reach, but you could have sent a message to me through my employer.”

      She settled the sleeping baby back in the car seat and wouldn’t look at him. “I don’t know, Simon. I...”

      “What?” He prodded.

      Her gaze met his and he was stunned by the stark emotions he found there. “I didn’t really know you.” Then she looked away. “I figured you’d rather not know.”

      So she’d called the shots, without giving him a chance to decide what he wanted. An inadequate answer on every level, especially since it was sheer chance that he’d discovered the truth. Had she come home after the New Year, he’d have been gone without a peep that he’d even been in Maple Springs.

      “You figured wrong.”

      Her blue eyes widened. “Can we talk some other time? I’m really tired.”

      For the first time, he noticed the faint smudges under her eyes and the fight went out of him. “Another time, then. I think we should exchange numbers, though, just in case.”

      Cat nodded and gave him her number.

      He entered the information in his phone and then gave her his business card. “That’s got the shop hours on it. I’m closed tomorrow. I close Sundays and Mondays.”

      She slipped the card into the diaper bag but didn’t say anything.

      This was all wrong, but he didn’t know how to make it right. Cat did look weary and he didn’t want to be the source of more worry. “Thank you.”

      She paused before leaving, her brow furrowed. “For what?”

      He took a deep breath and calmed down. “For letting me hold her.”

      Her eyes filled with tears. “Yeah. Sure.”

      He didn’t know if he should try to comfort her or simply let her go. This was all new to him. He’d never been close to a woman before. He’d never wanted more than a temporary or casual relationship. He had to admit that he’d given Cat no indication that he’d care to know about Opal. He’d known there was a chance that their actions could have had consequences, but he’d made no effort to check in with her afterward. Part of him wished he didn’t know, since ignorance was bliss and knowing was...

      Relationships had always ended, but having a daughter wouldn’t. Opal was his and would always be his. The question was, what would he be to her?

      He took a step forward. “Need help with the seat?”

      “I’ve got it. No worries.” Cat waved him away. She looked plenty worried to him, as if she carried the weight of the world in her arms instead of a wee one.

      He watched as she backed up her car and drove away. As he stepped inside his house, it felt far too empty. The hollow sensation in the pit of his belly was unwelcome, as well. He’d lived alone for so long, СКАЧАТЬ