Harbour Lights. Sherryl Woods

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СКАЧАТЬ say to him, Kevin could tell, but apparently an edict from Gram had kept his father silent. He doubted that would last much longer.

      To his surprise, it was Gram herself who broke the silence first. She joined him on the porch at dusk one evening, handed him a glass of iced tea and a plate of his favorite oatmeal raisin cookies and said, “We need to talk.”

      “About?” Kevin asked, even more wary than he had been when Jess had made the same announcement. If Jess was good at uncomfortable, straight talk, it was because she’d learned from a master—their grandmother. Nell O’Brien had stepped in to raise them after their mother and father had divorced. She had a huge heart and a tart tongue.

      “The way you’re moping around this house day in and day out,” she replied. “It’s not good for you, and it’s certainly not good for your boy. A child needs to expand his world, to see other children.”

      Kevin frowned at that. “His cousins are here all the time.”

      “Caitlyn and Carrie are almost eight now, and while they love playing with Davy, he needs to be with some youngsters his own age.” She gave him a penetrating look. “He needs to laugh, Kevin. When was the last time you got down on the ground and rough-housed with him, made him giggle?”

      “Seems to me that Dad’s filling that role.” In fact, Mick seemed to delight in it.

      “It’s his father who ought to be doing it, not his grandfather. When was the last time you took Davy into town for an ice-cream cone?”

      “You took him just yesterday,” Kevin reminded her.

      Gram gave him an impatient look. “Is that what I asked? I want to know when you took him.”

      “I haven’t,” he admitted. “But I don’t see why that’s such a big deal. Davy’s got plenty of attention around here. That’s why I moved back to Chesapeake Shores.”

      “So we could raise him for you?” she asked. The question was pointed, though her tone was gentle.

      “No, of course not,” he retorted, then regretted his tone and sighed. “Maybe.”

      “Kevin, we all know you’re grieving over Georgia, and there’s not a thing we wouldn’t do to help out, but you have to start living again. You have to give Davy a more normal life. I know Jess has talked to you about this, so I waited, but you’re showing no signs of changing. I can’t go on watching you shortchange Davy or yourself like this. It’s just plain wrong. You’re a vital young man with a lot of years ahead of you. Don’t waste them and live to regret it.”

      As much as he hated to admit it, Kevin knew she was right. He just had no idea precisely what he could do about it, not when he was filled with so many conflicting emotions. He was angry about a war that had taken a child’s mother and left him a single dad. He was guilt-ridden about not having tried harder to make Georgia reconsider taking another tour in Iraq, even after just about everyone in his family had begged him to. And he was grieving for a vibrant young woman who would never know her son, who wouldn’t be there for his first day of school, his college graduation, his wedding.

      He finally lifted his head and faced his grandmother. “Gram, I have no idea what to do. Some days just getting out of bed seems like a triumph.”

      She nodded knowingly. “That’s the way I felt when your grandfather died. I’m sure it’s the way Mick felt when your mother left him alone with all of you children to raise. You know how he handled that.”

      “By taking off for work every chance he got,” Kevin said bitterly.

      “Do you think staying here and hiding out is any kinder?” she asked him.

      The soft-spoken words hit him like a slap. “But I—”

      She reached over and covered his hand with hers before he could argue that this was different.

      “He didn’t intend any hurt, either, Kevin,” Gram said. “Mick was managing the only way he knew how. So are you. But both of you are better than that. Mick’s a little late in trying to make up for those absences. I don’t want you to wait till Davy’s grown before fixing this.”

      “Where do I start?” he asked, genuinely at a loss. Plunging into a career taking out fishing charters, while it held some appeal, was more than he could cope with. It might require him to be civil to strangers, and he didn’t trust himself to do that. Not yet. Just look at how quickly he lost patience with the people he actually cared about.

      Gram gave his hand a squeeze. “You take one step at a time. Tomorrow, I expect you to get away from this house. This first time, go into town while Davy’s down for his nap. Have lunch at Sally’s. Stop by Bree’s flower shop. Visit Jess at the inn and help her out for a couple of hours. It doesn’t matter. Just do one thing tomorrow that’s a step forward. The next day, take another.”

      When she said it like that, when she didn’t ask for an overnight transformation or a leap into a whole new career as Jess had suggested, it seemed possible. Reasonable, even.

      “I can do that,” he said eventually.

      “Well, of course you can,” she said reassuringly.

      He thought back to all the years when Gram had been left virtually on her own with him, his brother and sisters, while his mother was making a new life for herself in New York and Mick was roaming the world for work.

      “Gram, did you ever have doubts after you moved in here to help Dad raise us?”

      She laughed. “I didn’t have time for doubts, not with the five of you to run me ragged. Besides, I had the advantage of having raised your father and uncles. I already knew a thing or two.”

      “I’ve been in a war. I’ve worked as a paramedic. None of that’s easy or predictable.” He shook his head. “But despite all that, there are days when the thought of raising Davy on my own scares me to death.”

      “But you’re not on your own now, are you?” she reminded him lightly. “None of us are going to abandon you to the task. We just don’t want you to miss out on being the kind of father I know deep down that you want to be.”

      “How’d you get to be so smart?” he teased, feeling lighter than he had in a long, long time.

      “Live long enough and it’s amazing what you pick up,” she said as she stood. She leaned down and pressed a kiss to his cheek. “I love you, Kevin. Never forget that.”

      “As if you’d let me,” he grumbled.

      She chuckled. “Yes, as if. Don’t stay up too late.”

      “Thanks, Gram, for the cookies and the talk.”

      She winked at him. “Can’t have one without the other.”

      It was true, Kevin thought, as she left him alone. Gram’s serious talks had always been accompanied by freshly baked cookies—oatmeal raisin for him, chocolate chip for his sisters and peanut butter for Connor. The advice had always gone down more easily because of it. Just as it had tonight.

      One step forward, he reminded himself. That’s all she was expecting.

      Chances СКАЧАТЬ