Freefall to Desire. Kayla Perrin

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      And yet, it made perfect sense that he was here. He, like she, had been forever affected by what had happened on this day three years ago.

      The doorbell sounded again. Slowly, Brianne unlocked and opened the door. And there stood Alex Thorpe, on her small front porch, with a serious expression on his face.

      And though Brianne had told herself only moments ago that she should hold no anger toward him, it flared again. As irrational as it was, Alex was a physical outlet for her pain and frustration. A person she could blame for something that had been out of everyone’s control.

      “Brianne.” Alex spoke her name, as serious as the expression on his face.

      Brianne said nothing. She didn’t know what to say. The last time she and Alex had spoken, two years ago exactly, he’d gotten her so angry she’d stormed off.

       “It’s been a year, Brianne. There’s been no sign of him. No action in any of his bank accounts. And he was never documented crossing the border back into the States. Do you really expect Carter to walk back into your life? What are you hanging on to?”

      And Brianne realized, in that instant, why she’d been so angry with Alex over the past couple of years. At first, she had thought it was because Alex had been Carter’s partner in crime—the guy Carter always went off with on his thrill-seeking adventures. From sky-diving to extreme skiing to base jumping off of buildings…to hiking mountains in bad weather. It had been easy to think that if Alex had refused to go with Carter, Carter might not have gotten lost on that mountain.

      But it was more than that, and Brianne now knew why. Alex had been Carter’s best friend, and yet he had so easily given up on him. Like the others who wanted to declare him dead and move on, Alex had done the very same thing.

      But as a best friend, she had expected him to want to do all in his power to find Carter. To travel to the ends of the earth, if that was necessary. To leave no stone unturned, as the saying went. Instead, on the one-year anniversary of Carter’s disappearance, Alex had told her that she was foolishly hanging on to hope.

      “I’m holding on to our love!” Brianne had shouted at him outside the church, not meaning to yell. “And what exactly happened on the mountain? How did you and Carter get separated? How is it that you came off of the mountain alive, but he didn’t?”

      Alex hadn’t answered the question, just advised her that it was time for her to accept reality. That was when Brianne had stormed off, away from Alex Thorpe, not caring if she never saw him again.

      And yet here he was, on her doorstep two years later.

      “You shouldn’t be here,” she said to him now. She might have resolved to let go of her anger toward him, but him being here was stirring up the uncertainty and helplessness she’d felt surrounding Carter’s disappearance. If they spoke again, it had to be when she was ready. When she could talk to him without the weight of Carter’s disappearance between them.

      “I know you don’t want to see me,” Alex said, his voice low. “And trust me, I wouldn’t be here if this wasn’t important. But what I have to say…it needed to be in person.” He paused for a moment, huddling into his leather jacket as a cold breeze swirled. “Can we talk inside?”

      Brianne looked beyond him to the late-model, high-end Mercedes parked at her sidewalk. It was black and sparkled beneath the streetlights. She knew it was his—which meant he’d driven here.

      “I thought you were in Phoenix,” Brianne said. Word was, Alex had moved there to open up another store in the sporting goods chain he and Carter had started. Life and business had gone on for him—something else that irked Brianne, even if it was irrational to expect anything else.

      “I was, but I’m back. Look, it’s pretty cold outside. Can I come in?”

      Brianne wanted to say no. She wanted to tell him that it hurt too much to see him, especially today. That he should leave and come back later—or better yet, not at all.

      But the fact that he was here spoke volumes. And even though his presence reminded her of what had happened three years ago, it also reminded her of something else. That they’d once been friends.

      Maybe Alex was here to make amends with another person who had loved Carter dearly. Wasn’t it time they started talking again? Rationally, she knew that Carter wouldn’t have wanted them upset with each other, as they were that day two years ago.

      That thought filling her mind, Brianne stepped backward and held the door open. “All right,” she said softly, her tone guarded. “You can come in.”

      Alex bent his head slightly as he entered the house. He was tall—six foot four, a little taller than the height of the doorframe of the prewar house. His body was in the same muscular form Brianne remembered from the past. No surprise there. In addition to their thrill-seeking, both Alex and Carter had been active in a variety of sports—cycling, kickboxing, basketball. They’d liked to spend hours on the weekends playing a variety of sports, keeping their bodies perfectly toned. Their love of sport had led them to open their first sporting goods store in downtown Buffalo, and then a second in Amherst and a third in Niagara Falls. Two men, best friends since childhood, had worked hard to achieve the American dream and had succeeded.

      But that dream had been marred with the death of one half of the business.

      Brianne looked at Alex then—really stared at him. And noted that his attractive face was marred with a scowl. Again, it struck her that he had probably been carrying around an enormous amount of guilt. She wondered if he had smiled in the last three years.

      “We can chat in here,” Brianne said, gesturing to the sitting room near the front door. She led the way into the room, turning on the lights as she did, then took a seat on one of the sofas. Alex folded his tall frame into the lounge chair opposite her.

      Just looking at him, Brianne felt regret. How had they lost not only Carter but their friendship? In fact, when Brianne had walked into their sporting goods store, she had noticed Alex first. Noticed his extreme good looks and warm smile. Then out of nowhere, Carter had appeared and offered to help her. She’d been shopping for a bike, and Carter had helped her try a number of them in order to find the one best suited to her. It had been clear to her that Carter was spending more time with her than necessary. He had been flirting, and Brianne—unused to that kind of attention—had been flattered. The rest, as they say, was history. She’d fallen for Carter, but she’d also become friends with Alex. Now she regretted that the death of Carter had also led to the death of their bond.

      “I’m glad you came to see me,” she said before he could speak. “I guess it’s about time we…talk again.” Her emotions were all over the place—from anger to regret and now to empathy—but she supposed that was to be expected. Empathy was now morphing into a dull ache of pain. Pain over Carter’s loss, but also pain over the fact that she’d lost Alex’s friendship.

      Alex nodded. His expression was still grim, making Brianne wonder if the pain for him was as intense as when Carter had disappeared into that storm.

      “I never should have said those things I said to you,” she continued. “I know it wasn’t your fault. It was the grief talking.”

      “We both lost someone we cared about, but we shouldn’t have lost our friendship,” Brianne went on when Alex said nothing. “Thank you for being the one with the courage to make the first move.”

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