Jingle Bell Babies. Kathryn Springer

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СКАЧАТЬ hard for you to hear, Jesse.” His friend’s quiet words barely penetrated the rushing sound in Jesse’s head. “Late this morning…found Marie’s vehicle…tree fell on the driver’s side…”

      Like a child, Jesse wanted to press his hands against his ears and shut out the truth.

      Where are You, God? Are You even listening? How much more do You think one man can take?

      The silent cry burst out of a place deep inside him.

      Hadn’t he gone through enough?

      “Marie must have been trying to outrun the tornado,” Colt continued softly. “I’m so sorry for your loss, Jesse. Sorry for you…and your girls.”

      Jesse couldn’t answer. Couldn’t tell Colt the truth. Not yet. That his wife hadn’t been trying to outrun the tornado—she’d been running away. From him.

      When the driving rain had forced him to abandon his chores the day before, he found Marie’s note on the kitchen table. Next to it, the simple gold wedding band and diamond engagement ring he gave her the night he proposed. An heirloom that had been in the Logan family for generations.

      He’d had to read through his wife’s letter twice before the meaning sank in but the words had remained branded in his memory.

      Jesse,

      I have nothing left to give. If I stay on the ranch, I’ll never become the person I was meant to be. You were the one who wanted a family, so I’m leaving the babies with you. I’m going back to Kansas City and I’ll contact you when I’m settled.

      Marie

      The storm bending the trees outside hadn’t compared to the one raging inside of him.

      Frantic, Jesse had immediately called the nurse’s station in the Manhattan hospital, where their premature triplets had been in the NICU for the past two months. The nurse had verified that Marie hadn’t shown up that afternoon to sit with the girls.

      He braved the weather to drive to the hospital anyway, hoping that his wife had had a change of heart and gone there instead of the airport.

      She hadn’t.

      Jesse stayed with his daughters the rest of the evening, waiting for a phone call. It wasn’t until one of the nurses on duty had asked him if his ranch was located near High Plains that he learned about the tornadoes.

      Unable to get through to his hired hands or his sister, Maya, Jesse spent a sleepless night in the family lounge and most of the morning waiting for the state police to remove the barricades from the roads.

      When he was finally able to return to the ranch, Jesse had gone from room to room, calling Marie’s name. Praying that news of the storm would have fanned an ember of concern in her heart and brought her home. If not for him, then for Madison, Brooke and Sasha.

      At the thought of his precious girls, Jesse was struck by an overwhelming desire to hold them again.

      “I have to get back to the hospital.” He pushed past Colt.

      “Jesse, wait. Don’t be stubborn.” Colt put a restraining hand on his arm. “You’re in no shape to go anywhere. Let me call someone for you.”

      He immediately thought of his younger brother, Clay, but he shook the image away. Colt was right. He wasn’t thinking clearly.

      His sister, Maya, should have been the one who came to mind first. Not Clay. Clay had shirked his responsibility to the ranch and the family years ago.

      If his brother hadn’t even bothered to call when Maya had told him Jesse’s triplets were struggling for their lives in the NICU, what made him think Clay would be here for him now?

      In that respect, Marie and Clay had been alike. Both of them ran away when things got hard. Jesse knew it was up to him to pick up the pieces. Alone. Again.

      He swallowed hard against the lump lodged in his throat. “I’ll call Maya,” he managed to rasp.

      “Jesse…” Colt frowned.

      Don’t say it, Jesse thought. His self-control was hanging by a thread. He couldn’t think about his own grief though, he had to think about the three babies he’d left sleeping peacefully in their cribs only a few hours ago. He had to keep it together. For his daughters.

      As if Colt could read his mind, he nodded slowly. “I understand. And don’t worry about the…arrangements right now, Jess. Take as much time as you need.”

      The automatic doors parted as Jesse reached the front of the building. He’d spent so much time at the hospital over the past eight weeks that many of the staff knew him by name. Two volunteer auxiliary workers stopped talking and nodded solemnly when he passed the information desk.

      He’d only taken a few steps down the corridor when a man stepped out of the cafeteria and intercepted him.

      “Jesse.”

      Jesse froze at the sound of the familiar voice, although he barely recognized his father-in-law. The deep lines in Philip Banner’s face and the haunted look in his eyes told Jesse he already knew about Marie’s death.

      Instinctively, Jesse extended his hand to grasp his father-in-law’s, but the man stepped away, rebuffing the overture.

      Jesse flinched. Philip had never bothered to hide his disapproval. As one of the state’s leading prosecutors, Marie’s father had had high hopes his only child would marry well. A cattle rancher from Kansas didn’t fit his model of the ideal son-in-law. Philip and Sharon had kept in close touch with their daughter after the wedding, but barely acknowledged Jesse’s existence.

      Jesse had hoped his in-laws would soften when they found out they were going to be grandparents, but if anything, the news had made them more resentful. Instead of anticipating the girls’ arrival, Sharon seemed to blame Jesse for Marie’s difficult pregnancy.

      “Have you seen the girls yet?” It occurred to Jesse that Philip and Sharon may have come to the hospital for the same reason he had. To hold the triplets and try to find some comfort in knowing that a part of Marie lived on in her daughters.

      Philip ignored the question. “Sharon and I need your permission to take Marie…” His voice cracked and he looked away, as if it were difficult to look Jesse in the eye.

      Jesse stared at the man, unable to comprehend what he was asking. And then the truth hit him. They hadn’t shown up out of concern for Jesse. Or his baby girls. His in-laws had been close by because they’d been part of Marie’s exit plan. They’d probably made arrangements to meet her at the airport—to lend their support in case Jesse followed—before escorting her back to Kansas City.

      “You want to take her—” Jesse couldn’t say the word body “—back to Kansas City?”

      “We have a family plot in the cemetery.” Philip’s expression changed and now bitterness scored the words. “Marie never belonged here with you. You know that. Last week she called and asked us if she could come home. It’s where she wanted to be. It’s where she should be now.”

      Home.

      Jesse СКАЧАТЬ