Past Secrets, Present Love. Lois Richer

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      “No, thanks, Sandra. Nothing for me. Please.” He rose and grasped her hands when they would have reached to fill the kettle. “You need to rest. Come and sit down,” he cajoled. “Stop fussing over me and take some time to let things sink in.”

      Sandra had pushed her way through the cancer treatments with a will and determination Ross admired. She’d come through like a trooper, was on the mend now. But he’d glimpsed those times when she sagged from her battle against the deadly disease. He’d seen firsthand how her need to seem all right in front of her staff and customers at the diner had left her sapped of energy when she came home where no one could see. He was prepared to argue with her now if it would make her conserve whatever strength she could muster for what might lay ahead. Emotionally she was needy. What happened with Kelly could drain her and make her physical recovery more difficult.

      Ross led her to the nearest easy chair, waited until she was seated, then pulled up a footstool and sat down in front of her. He took her hands in his.

      “You had a baby girl, a daughter,” he murmured, knowing she hadn’t yet begun to absorb that detail, though he’d told her about the DNA results hours ago.

      “I know. A girl named Kelly.” Tears rushed to her eyes and she dashed them away. “And such a pretty girl. Did you notice her hair? Those streaks—gold and silver and bronze, all mixed up together. I used to try so hard to get my hair those exact shades when I was her age. Of course hairdressers didn’t do highlights nearly as well back then and my parents condemned me for coloring my hair, but still…” She stretched a hand to the area just above her ear, rubbed her fingers against the downy tendrils that had begun re-growing after her chemo treatments.

      “Kelly is as beautiful as her mother,” he murmured, his heart pinching at the soft sheen of love that radiated from Sandra’s pretty face. “She has to love you, Sandra. She won’t be able to help it. Just give her time.”

      “You’re so sweet to me, Ross.” She enveloped him in another tight hug, then leaned back and pinched his cheek. “Why hasn’t some smart woman snapped you up?”

      He didn’t want to hurt her, so he laughed, drew away. “Because I’m smarter and besides, I don’t want to be snapped.”

      “Don’t you believe in marriage, Ross?”

      “Not the ones I’ve seen,” he muttered, keeping his face averted as he thought of his alcoholic parents and their notorious brawls.

      “Then you haven’t seen the right ones. Marriage can and should be a true meeting of two minds, not to force one to be like the other, but to complement each other. The wife a blessing to her husband and vice versa.”

      He grinned. “How’d you become such an expert?”

      “Watching my own parents.” Sandra smiled at the memory. “They had this bond that made them complete. I always wanted what they had. Sometimes I felt a little bit left out because their world seemed complete when they had each other. Maybe that’s why I tried so hard to find love, maybe that’s what scared away—” She stopped, peered up at him. “Never mind.”

      “You were going to say that’s what drove him away, weren’t you?” He shook his head. “It isn’t. He was a cheater before you met him, Sandra. Men like that feed on women who trust them. He was a creep. The fact that he made you believe you had to give away your baby only proves it.”

      “He told me she was with a family in California.” She struggled to keep her voice even. “He claimed she had everything a child could need.”

      “Well, we know the Youngs did live in California for a while. You couldn’t have known they’d move back here when she was just a few years old.” He chewed his bottom lip. “For the rest of it—I think Kelly did have everything she needed. She speaks of the Youngs with great love. You must have known them so you’d know how they were with her.”

      “They loved her the way a precious child should be loved.” Sandra sighed. “I couldn’t have chosen anyone better myself.”

      He remained silent a moment, thinking. But he had to prepare her. “That love they showered on her might be what will make it hard for Kelly to accept you as her mother, Sandra.”

      “What do you mean?” Her green eyes grew wide. “How can having loving parents make her hate me?”

      “She doesn’t hate you. But she won’t want to betray them, either. The Youngs are the only family she’s ever known. She was told her birth parents were dead. Loving you, calling you Mom—that might seem like betrayal toward the woman she’s looked up to for so many years.”

      “I don’t want to take away anything Marcus or Carol were to that child! I thank God every day that they were there when I couldn’t be, that they loved her, raised her to trust God. It’s because of them that Kelly is who she is today—a beautiful, strong, caring woman who loves God and gives back to the community.” Sandra gulped. “Of course I wish it could have been me, but God directed otherwise.”

      God again. He bit his lip to stop the question—why hadn’t God straightened out this mess thirty-odd years ago and saved her the heartache?

      “I know you don’t understand my beliefs, Ross. You’re angry on my behalf, and that’s sweet. But I’ve been without my child for many years and I’ve had to learn understanding. God knows what He’s doing. He has a plan that is far bigger than what I see. Maybe I’ll live long enough to find out what it is, but even if I don’t, I still trust Him. He knows the plans He has for me, plans to prosper and not to harm.”

      Another of her Biblical quotes. How did you argue against faith like that? Ross studied the serenity filling her face and wished he could figure out her attitude. Sandra was the loser in this. She’d missed the special times he was pretty sure most mothers treasured in their secret hearts—first steps, first words, first day at school, first boyfriend, first kiss. All the things his own mother had never given a hoot about.

      Like snowflakes dropping from the sky, the questions filled him. Why hadn’t he been born to Sandra? Why hadn’t her God looked after him, given him a loving home?

      He knew why.

      Because of Trista. His little sister would never have made it if he hadn’t been there to protect her. For her sake he was glad he had been. But that didn’t make the living hell of his past any less brutal. His father was dead, his mother seldom recognized him, let alone cared about him. The only one he had left was Trista.

      “When is Kelly coming to see me?” Sandra’s quiet voice brimmed with barely suppressed delight. “When can we talk?”

      “Kelly promised that if I went to this church social she’ll be attending tomorrow, she’d come to see you after that. I don’t have a specific time yet, but I’ll get one.” He grinned, waggled a finger at her. “A skiing day! The things I do for you, Sandra Lange.”

      “Like dating Kelly is a hardship.” She chuckled. “Puh-leeze.”

      “It’s not a date, it’s…reciprocity.” His face felt hotter than the fire at Kelly’s. “I go with her, she comes here. That’s the deal.”

      “Martyrdom, here comes Ross Van Zandt.” Sandra giggled, then quickly sobered. “I’m not so sure it’s a good thing if you had to bribe her СКАЧАТЬ