New Year, New Man: A Kiss on Crimson Ranch / The Dance Off / The Right Mr. Wrong. Элли Блейк

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СКАЧАТЬ she’d felt earlier but didn’t have the energy or inclination for it.

      “I’m sorry,” he said softly. “I didn’t mean that.” He stood, walking to the edge of the porch. “It scares the hell out of me to think of Claire with her mother. Jennifer wouldn’t know a maternal instinct if it bit her on the nose. Claire was an easy little girl, quiet and bent on pleasing whomever she was with at the time. Jennifer could send her off to school then shuttle her around on breaks, parading her in front of the media for a photo op before pawning her off on nannies or lackeys or whoever was available at the time. She let me have Claire more as she got older and had needs of her own. Now that Claire’s on the verge of becoming a woman, I’m afraid Jen will treat her as a young protégé, using Claire to get into clubs or entice men.” He ran a hand through his hair. “If I’m not there to protect her, there’s no telling what could happen.”

      “Claire has a good head on her shoulders.” Sara didn’t know how to assuage his fears. “You’ve raised an amazing daughter and you have to trust she’ll make the right decisions.”

      “I can’t,” he whispered miserably. “The stakes are too high. If I let her go...”

      “You don’t know—”

      He whirled around. “I do know, Sara. My sister died in a car accident because I left her behind. I didn’t take care of Beth, and I’m not going to make the same mistake with Claire.”

      She stood, wanting to reach out to him. For the first time she saw the stark pain his strength hid so well. Now it made sense to her. It was in the hard line of his jaw, the square set of his broad shoulders, the sharp pull of a mouth she knew to be soft as a butterfly kiss. All of that hid the pain and guilt he felt over his sister’s death.

      She knew what it was like to hide your true self so thoroughly that you almost believed the mask you wore was real. She knew the emotional risk involved in revealing the wound behind it.

      “Tell me,” she whispered.

      He turned away again.

      For a moment she thought he’d leap off the porch and disappear into the black night. When he didn’t move, she came slowly toward him, wrapping her arms around his strong middle. Her cheek pressed against the back of his denim jacket. She breathed in his scent as she willed away the tension pouring off him. Willed him not to leave.

      After a moment, his warm hands enveloped hers and he took a deep, shuddering breath. His muscles remained tight but he stayed with her. That was enough for now.

      “Tell me,” she said again. “Please.”

      “My father was a mean drunk,” he began. “My mom, she both loved and feared him. I’m not sure which one made her stay. In the end, it didn’t really matter. There were four of us kids. My brother Jake is two years older than me. When I was four, the twins were born. Beth and my other brother, Logan. My mom did what she could to keep us in line. My dad worked construction, mainly over in Aspen. The more time he spent building mansions for rich people, the more bitter he became about our tiny, run-down farmhouse. And the more bitter he became, the more he drank. Then...”

      Sara laced her fingers in his. “What happened?”

      “It’s not an uncommon story in the mountains. As beautiful as it is up here, it’s isolating, especially in the winter. Especially when there’s not much work or a man can’t hold a job because he’s too tempted by the bottle. When we were young, my mom tried to keep us away from him when he was in a mood. That didn’t always work with three boys underfoot. Beth was the only one of us he ever seemed to care about. She was shy and quiet. A hell of a lot easier to be around than the rest of us.”

      He squeezed her hands. “As soon as Jake and I got big enough to fight back, Dad left us alone. He’d take out that anger on Mom when we weren’t around. She’d hide the bruises, but we knew. She never sent him away or thought of leaving. Said he needed her too much. More than we needed a decent life.

      “Jake got a college scholarship and never looked back. I started on the circuit soon after. I sent money back to Mom when I could. Jake and I both did. But without us in the house to temper his behavior, Dad got even worse. Beth was so quiet, and Logan was a scrawny, sickly kid back then. Mom eventually kicked the jerk out, but it was too late. Beth and Logan were running wild. Beth had an older boyfriend. One night there was an accident. Beth and a group of friends had been drinking—the boyfriend was driving drunk. He hit an elk crossing the highway and...”

      Sara wrapped her arms tighter around Josh’s waist as he spoke. The anguish and guilt were clear in his tone.

      “It wasn’t your fault,” she whispered.

      “I left her here. I left both of them here. I was so intent on getting out, I deserted them. The twins weren’t like Jake and me. They needed someone to protect them.” He paused to drag in a miserable breath. “I should have protected them. If I’d been here...”

      Sara unlaced her fingers from his and scooted around to stand in front of him. She took his face in her hands and tipped it down so he had to look her in the eyes. The pain she saw there tore at her heart. “That’s why you want to keep Claire away from her mother.”

      “Claire was the same age as Beth when I left. I can’t take the chance that something in my daughter could change. What if something happens and I’m not around to make it okay?”

      “You should explain that to Claire.” Sara drew her fingers through the soft hair along Josh’s neck, wanting to relax some of his tension. “Right now she thinks you want to squash her fun. If she understood the reasons why you’re protective of her, it might help.”

      “How can I admit that to her? I’m supposed to be the dad, the one with all the answers.”

      “You’re the dad who loves her with your whole heart. That doesn’t always mean you have the answers.” Unable to resist, she reached on tiptoe and kissed the corner of his mouth. “You’re human, Josh. Not a superhero. You know that, right?”

      “If my injury has taught me anything, it’s that I’m all too human.”

      “Human is good,” she whispered. “Flesh and blood makes things more interesting.”

      His eyes darkened as a slow smile broke across his face.

      “What did I say?”

      “Flesh.”

      “And blood,” she offered.

      “Right now, I’m focused on the flesh.” He drew his palms up her arms and across the front of the soft robe, rubbing his thumbs against her exposed collarbone. “Yours in particular.”

      As much as his touch made her skin tingle, she shook her head. “Will you talk to Claire?”

      “Will you kiss me again if I say yes?”

      “One doesn’t have anything to do with the other,” she argued, but leaned into him just the tiniest bit.

      “I know,” he agreed. “Yes, I’ll talk to Claire.”

      She nodded. “You do look a little like a superhero, you know. Like you could handle the weight of the world because you’re so strong and tough.”

      “You’re СКАЧАТЬ