Wedding Party Collection: Once A Bridesmaid...: Here Comes the Bridesmaid / Falling for the Bridesmaid. GINA WILKINS

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СКАЧАТЬ last, and his voice sounded as though he hadn’t used it for a month.

      ‘Just that I want to have sex with you.’ Sunshine pursed her lips, considering him. ‘Are you shocked? Horrified? Appalled? Because you don’t look interested.’

      ‘Gary. Ben. Marco.’ He listed them without elaborating.

      ‘Gary, Ben and Marco?’ she said, as though she had no idea what he was getting at.

      ‘How many lovers do you need?’

      She gave him an Aha! kind of look, then said simply, ‘Okay, I’ll tell you. I’m not sleeping with any of them. I’m not sleeping with anyone. I hoped there would be a spark with Gary, but it never developed. Ben? Twice. But that’s ancient history, and we won’t talk about his addiction to cheesy love songs in the bedroom.’

      Momentary distraction. ‘Ben and cheesy love songs? What is it with people and cheesy love songs?’

      ‘I know—it’s crazy! So, of course, it was never going to go anywhere. Marco—well, that would be a cold day in hell.’ She looked at him. ‘But there’s no need to talk it to death. If you’re not interested let’s just move on. We have a tough seven weeks ahead, and there’s just not enough time for us to go through an awkward phase.’

      ‘How the hell am I supposed to move on?’ Leo asked, incredulous.

      ‘I said I wanted to have sex with you—not that I wanted to marry you. And only up to four times, which is my limit.’ She looked at him thoughtfully. ‘You don’t suffer from priapism by any chance, do you?’

      ‘From what?’

      ‘Guess not. Well, then—are you, perhaps, a virgin who’s signed some sort of pledge?’

      ‘No, of course I’m not a virgin.’

      ‘Well, I don’t know why you say “of course” like that. There are more virgins out there than you realise. In fact I read on the internet that—’

      ‘And what do you mean, only up to four times?’ he asked, jumping in before she could give him virgin facts. Because he did not want virgin facts.

      ‘Any more than four times and things get messy. You know—emotional. If you don’t want to develop a relationship it’s best to set a limit. And I don’t. Want to develop a relationship. I mean; I do want to set a limit. Hmm, you’re giving me that look.’

      ‘What look?’

      ‘That she’s insane look.’

      ‘That’s because you are. Insane.’

      ‘I’m just sensible, Leo. Men do this stuff all the time. Pick up a girl in a seedy bar—not that we’re in a seedy bar, of course, but you get the picture—then race her off to the bedroom, then do the I’ll-call-you routine when they have no intention of calling. So why can’t I? Well, not the I’ll-call-you thing—I would never say I’d call someone and then not do it. And there really is no reason not to call. Regardless of whether you want to have sex with them again. Because you had to like them in some way to get into bed with them in the first place, so you should want to see where the friendship goes, shouldn’t you? The sex part is kind of incidental—because sex is just...well, sex.’

      Pause.

      Thank God. Because his head was spinning.

      ‘I guess what I’m saying,’ she continued, unabashed, ‘is that it’s better to be up-front about what you want—just sex, just friendship, sex and then friendship. Whatever! But no tragic I love you just to wring an orgasm out of someone.’

      ‘What if you do fall in love?’

      ‘I won’t. I never have. And I never will. I told you before: I won’t let myself care that much.’

      ‘So you’re saying Jonathan and Caleb should give up the idea of marriage and just have sex?’

      Her face softened. ‘No, I’m happy for them. And I know the love thing works for lots of people—my parents are a prime example. It just doesn’t work for me.’

      ‘How do you know if you’ve never been there?’

      ‘Haven’t we already had this discussion?’

      ‘Not thoroughly enough, Sunshine.’

      Another pause. ‘All right, then. The fact is I’m too...intense. I feel things too intensely.’

      ‘Not thoroughly enough,’ he repeated.

      She bit her lower lip, worried it between her teeth. And then, haltingly, she said, ‘I didn’t recover—not properly—from my sister’s death.’ The tears were there, being blinked furiously away. ‘I can’t describe it. The agony. The...agony.’

      ‘That’s a different kind of love,’ he said, but gently.

      ‘A different kind, yes. But the depth... I just think it’s safer, for me, to splash in the shallows—not to swim out of my depth.’ She laughed, but there was no humour in it. ‘Huh. A line of coke and I’d be Natalie.’

      ‘You’re nothing like Natalie. And you already have strong, deep ties—to Jon, to your parents...’

      ‘Yes. I love Jon, and I love my parents. But it was too late to do anything about them; they were already here.’ Small tap over the heart. ‘I’m just limiting further damage.’ She tried to smile. ‘And, anyway, the in-love kind of love would be the most damaging. Because I know how I’d be in love. Kill for him, die for him...’

      ‘The kind I want.’

      ‘The kind you say you want, anyway. Into the abyss, off the cliff. But you’ll see, when you’ve fallen into the abyss, that there’s anguish there—in the fear of losing the one you love, or even just losing the love. And I can’t—won’t—go through that. Because next time I just don’t know how I—’ She stopped. Blew out a breath. ‘Let’s not go there. Let’s just keep the focus on sex.’

      Leo could hear muted noises from outside floating up from the street. Traffic. A laugh. A shout. But inside it was quiet. ‘So you’ve restricted your lovers to a four-night term ever since Moonbeam died? And none of them ever wanted to take things further?’

      ‘They knew it was never going to happen. And I’ve managed to stay good friends with all of them despite that—which is more than you can say. Well, all of them bar one.’

      ‘And what went wrong with him?’

      ‘He just doesn’t like women dictating the terms, so we didn’t even make it to the first...what would you call it?...assignation? Yes, assignation.’ She did the curious bird thing. ‘I’m guessing you’re in his camp.’

      Leo had no idea, at that point, what he thought. But he didn’t like Sunshine telling him which camp he was in, thank you very much! ‘No, I’m not in that camp.’

      Sunshine smiled. ‘So! Are you saying you would consider it, Leo? Sex, I mean?’

      ‘No, СКАЧАТЬ