A Baby In The House. Pamela Bauer

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СКАЧАТЬ was not the adjective that came to mind for Krystal. Scary was more like it. In less than two hours the house would be filled with people showering good wishes on Dena, and her mother had chosen today to visit. Since she rarely drove to the city, Krystal wondered if she’d come to scold her or to reconcile with her.

      “We’ve been getting to know each other better,” Leonie said as she rose to get a refill of coffee.

      Krystal eyed her mother suspiciously, wondering what she’d said to her landlady. Had she told her they’d been fighting? Or worse yet, had she revealed the reason for the tension between them? Judging by Leonie’s jovial expression, Krystal didn’t think she had.

      “Leonie told me you’re giving Dena a bridal shower tonight,” Linda commented.

      Krystal nodded. “Yeah, and I have a lot to do before the guests arrive, so I should go upstairs.”

      “Maybe I can help,” her mother offered.

      It was her peace offering and Krystal knew she should behave like a grown-up and accept, but she’d discovered that during pregnancy her moments of maturity had a way of escaping when she least expected it. “No, I’m fine. I can manage.”

      She could see she’d shocked Leonie. Her landlady leaned over to her mother, patted her forearm and said, “That’s very sweet of you to offer to help, Linda. We can always use an extra pair of hands in the kitchen.”

      Only Krystal knew that her mother’s smile was forced. “Just give me an apron and tell me what to do.”

      To Krystal’s dismay, that’s exactly what her landlady did. Her mother listened intently as Leonie launched into a description of the melon baskets and vegetable crudités they were going to serve. Krystal felt as if the rug was being pulled out from under her feet. She needed to talk to her mother and she needed to do it soon.

      “Mom, maybe before you get started down here you could come with me upstairs. I have the party favors in my room and we still need to decorate the great room, too.”

      “No, you don’t,” Leonie told her. “Lisa was over earlier today and took care of the decorating. Wait until you see what she’s done. She has white paper streamers everywhere and lots of balloons.”

      “Oh, that sounds lovely,” Linda beat her to a response. “I’d love to take a look.”

      “Go ahead,” Leonie instructed with a wave of her arm. “It’s just down the hall and around the corner.”

      Krystal suppressed her sigh of frustration. “We can take a look when we bring the party favors down from upstairs.” She motioned for her mother to follow her out of the kitchen.

      She planned not to say another word until they were in her room, but at the top of the landing her mother said, “Your landlady’s a nice person. She’s very easy to talk to.”

      Krystal turned to face her. “Just what did you tell her?”

      “Nothing about—” she paused, then lowered her voice to a near whisper “—your condition.”

      Krystal heaved a sigh of relief. “Thank God. My life is enough of a mess without having Leonie upset with me.”

      “Oh, I see. It’s okay for you to have your mother upset with you but not Leonie?” she snapped.

      “No, it’s not okay, but I’m not the one who hasn’t been returning phone calls this past week,” she shot back.

      “I had my reasons.”

      “And they would be…” she prodded.

      “This hasn’t been easy for me, Kryssie.”

      “And you think it has been for me?” She didn’t want to sound defensive, but that’s exactly how she felt. “You know, this really isn’t the best time to be having this conversation. I’m supposed to be getting ready for the shower. Why did you come down here today of all days?”

      “Because I don’t want the next week to be like this past one has been. This nontalking has got to stop.”

      “I’m not the one who hasn’t been talking!”

      Aware that Dena could come home at any time and find the two of them arguing on the landing, Krystal pulled her mother by the arm into her room. She didn’t bother to ask her to sit down, but stood facing her, her hands on her hips.

      Her mother stated the obvious. “I know you’re angry with me.”

      Krystal folded her arms across her chest. “How do you expect me to feel? You wouldn’t even listen to me when I came to see you.” She hated the way her voice quivered when she spoke.

      “I know and I’m sorry. It was just such a shock hearing that you’d done the one thing I’d prayed you’d never do. I thought I’d raised you to have values.”

      “I do have values. I’m pregnant, not morally bankrupt, and if the only reason you came here was to tell me I’ve done a bad thing, I got the message loud and clear last week.” She wished she could express herself without getting so emotional, but she was dangerously close to tears. “A stinging palm on my cheek, not coming home, not returning my calls… I believe I know exactly what you think of me, Mom.”

      “No, you don’t, and I am sorry. For everything, but especially for slapping you. You know how I feel about mothers hitting their children. I’ve always taken pride in the fact that I raised you and Carly by myself yet I never laid a hand on either of you. I was ashamed of what I did.”

      Krystal could hear the regret in her voice, see the sadness in her eyes. “Then why did you do it?”

      Linda shrugged. “I don’t know. Maybe it was because I saw myself in you.”

      “Mom, I’m not a teenager who got caught having sex.”

      “No, you’re a grown woman who should have known better.”

      It wasn’t anything Krystal hadn’t said to herself a hundred times, but she didn’t need to hear those words from her mother. “You know what, Mom? I should have known better but I didn’t. I messed up.” She threw up her hands. “There. I’ve admitted it. Are you happy?”

      “No, I’m not happy.”

      “Well, that makes two of us because I’m not happy, either. I’m scared. Damn scared. And it would be nice if I could talk about that with my mother instead of feeling like I’m the world’s biggest loser of a daughter.” There was no stopping the tears. They flooded her eyes, shook her shoulders and wrinkled her face. She turned away, but within a few moments she felt a pair of arms around her.

      Her mother pulled her close, soothing her with the same words she’d used so often when she was a child. “There, there, now. It’s going to be all right.”

      “I don’t think it is, Mom. I don’t know what I’m going to do,” she sobbed into her shoulder.

      “You’ll figure it out,” Linda said reassuringly. “And I’ll be there to help you.”

      “Do СКАЧАТЬ