A Baby by Christmas. Linda Warren

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СКАЧАТЬ To have his whole world torn apart? Then be expected to let strangers raise his boy—his own flesh and blood. “When’s the hearing?”

      “A date hasn’t been set, but since you’ve been located, we’re expecting it to be soon.”

      “Then CPS will tell a judge who should raise Ben?”

      “Yes.”

      “How can you do that when you’re hesitating to give me time with Ben?” He held his hand up when she started to speak. “You don’t know if I can take care of my son or love him or nurture him. You can’t write an honest report unless you give me a chance.”

      “This would be so much easier if you and your wife weren’t separated.”

      Jake was taken aback. “Are you saying I can’t take care of my son because I’m a man?”

      “I’m saying Ben needs a loving, stable environment and I’m not sure you can provide that.”

      “I see,” he said slowly. “Then there’s only one recourse left.”

      “What’s that?”

      “To show you that I can provide that.” He moved toward his truck. “I’ll be back tomorrow. Set it up. Same as today.”

      “Mr. McCain, that’s very arrogant and I—”

      “Do it,” he interrupted. “I’ll wait for your call.”

      Jake drove away feeling as if he’d won this battle, but the war was far from over. There was no doubt that he wanted his son. All those fears inside him had dissipated when he saw the face of his child. Now he’d fight for him, because Jake knew in his heart what was best for Ben—to be raised by his father.

      He had to learn about Ben’s medical problems, how to care for him. That would take time, but he could do it. He felt confident about that now.

      THE DRIVE HOME WAS LONG but he hardly noticed. He thought about Ben…and Elise. She kept intruding even though he tried not to think about her. He wanted to tell her about Ben, to share this with her, but that wasn’t going to happen, so he’d better get accustomed to the idea of being a single father.

      As he neared Marlin, his cell phone rang. He picked it up and heard the voice that had been humming through his head.

      “Jake, it’s Elise,” she said. “You left some things and I have them ready for you to pick up.”

      Getting rid of all the evidence that he’d ever lived in her house, he thought, but he replied, “I’m not far from your place. I can stop by now and get them.” He was such a glutton for punishment. He was closer to the farm than he was to her place. Why didn’t he tell her to throw the things out? He didn’t need them. Still, he didn’t like the way they’d parted and he hoped they could end the marriage amicably. Maybe this was his chance to do that.

      “Oh, that’s fine,” she was saying. “I’ll see you, then.”

      As he clicked off, he wondered if she’d done anything about a divorce. He couldn’t help thinking, though, that a divorce was the last thing he wanted. Not today—not ever.

      SHE’D DONE IT, ELISE TOLD herself. The clothes were just an excuse to see him, to talk to him. She wasn’t uncaring and insensitive to his needs and she had to tell him that. Most importantly, she had to apologize about the photo.

      She ran into the closet and gathered his clothes. A fragrance tempted her nostrils and she paused for a moment. Aramis. One day when she was shopping she’d bought the cologne for him, not sure if he’d like it or not, but he had and she now associated that scent with him.

      Shaking her head, she put everything in a bag, even his items from the bathroom. When Jake took those, his presence would be gone from the house. She sank onto the bed. No, it wouldn’t, she had to admit to herself. So many feelings were struggling to surface, but she couldn’t let them. The past and the emotions connected to her fears and anxieties kept her bound. But through the mental block one thing rang true: she had to see Jake.

      The doorbell buzzed and she jumped. Jake was here.

      CHAPTER FIVE

      WHEN JAKE STEPPED INTO the foyer, Elise felt almost out of breath. The foyer wasn’t small, but suddenly the confines of the entry overwhelmed her…or was it Jake?

      “Hi,” he said, and her stomach trembled at the warmth in his voice.

      Her eyes met his. “Hi.”

      “How are you?”

      She tucked her hair behind her ears and walked toward the living room—to put some distance between them and to sort through her emotions. “Fine,” she lied. “Your things are in here.” She picked up the bag and handed it to him.

      He took it and asked, “Could we talk for a minute?”

      “Sure,” she replied, sitting on the Queen Anne chair and slipping her bare feet beneath her. She was glad he’d asked to talk. It made what she had to say easier.

      He sat on the sofa. “Have you seen a divorce lawyer yet?” he asked.

      She shook her head. “No, I haven’t gotten around to it.” She wondered if he could hear the hesitation in her voice.

      “Let me know when you do.”

      I don’t want a divorce. I don’t want a divorce. I want a baby…and I want you. The words ran through her head but she couldn’t say them. Something inside her wouldn’t allow her to do that, and she knew what it was—fear. Despite this, she had to find a way to tell him.

      She smoothed the front of her pants. “I have to apologize.”

      He raised an eyebrow. “Oh?”

      “You were right. It was insensitive of me to leave Derek’s picture on the nightstand. I shouldn’t have done that and I’m sorry.”

      Jake was dumbstruck. He’d never expected her to admit that. She kept the man on a pedestal, and she wanted the world, including Jake, to do the same. He cleared his throat. “Thanks, and it was insensitive of me to bring it up when I did.”

      “You were angry and you had a right to be.”

      He didn’t know where this was coming from and he didn’t want to say anything that would hurt her more.

      “Maybe,” he admitted grudgingly.

      She raised her eyes to his. “I do care about you. You were wrong when you said I didn’t. I wouldn’t have asked you to marry me otherwise.”

      “From the start I knew you could never love me. You were still in love with your dead husband, but I wasn’t asking for your love—just your consideration.”

      She bit her lip, his confession obviously cutting deep. “I guess my mother and Judith were right, which I never like to acknowledge, but I’ve been obsessed with having a baby. I couldn’t think about anything else. It took over my life, my thinking, СКАЧАТЬ