Swept Away!: Accidentally Expecting! / Salzano's Captive Bride / Hawaiian Sunset, Dream Proposal. Lucy Gordon

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СКАЧАТЬ see you ever losing your nerve.’

      ‘That’s an act. Inside I’m a coward. If you only knew how much of a coward, you’d run away. And that’s what you ought to do.’

      ‘Isn’t that for me to decide?’

      ‘How can you, when you don’t know the worst of me?’

      ‘Then tell me the worst. I’m braced for anything.’

      ‘You make a joke of it, but there are things…’

      ‘Yes?’ she said eagerly.

      ‘Ferne…’ She felt a tremor go through him. ‘Have I imagined what’s been happening to us?’

      Now her heart was beating so hard that she couldn’t speak, only shake her head.

      ‘I know I said “just friendly”,’ he whispered. ‘But I say a lot of things that are nonsense. I guess you know that by now. When we talk—and I’ve never talked to anyone the way I talk to you—I always feel that you understand everything I’m not saying. With you, I don’t have to worry. I can be at peace.’

      He made a wry face, aimed at himself. ‘I never thought the day would come when I saw peace as a virtue. I was always one for racketing around. Yes, you knew that, didn’t you?’ His soft laughter joined hers. ‘I don’t suppose there’s much about me you haven’t worked out: clown, idiot, self-deceiver, overgrown schoolboy.’

      ‘I could add a few others,’ she teased.

      ‘I’ll bet you could.’

      ‘Then how can you say I don’t know the worst of you? I probably think you’re worse than you are. Why don’t you put me right?’

      ‘Tell you what a hero I am? What a strong, solid, upright character who never cut corners or skirted around the truth in his life?’

      ‘No, I don’t think I could quite believe that.’ She was teasing him along the road, inviting him into the place where he would feel safe enough to tell her everything. When there was total honesty between them, the way would be clear for whatever lay in the future.

      She wanted there to be a future. She could admit that now. She’d hidden her feelings, even from herself, behind a barrier of caution and sensible reasoning. But now Dante himself was demolishing that barrier. If she was only a little patient, there would be happiness soon.

      ‘It you presented yourself as a stuffed dummy full of virtue I think I’d just laugh,’ she admitted. ‘And then I’d send you on your way, because I’d have no use for you.’

      ‘For the stuffed-dummy part or the virtue?’ he asked lightly.

      ‘Guess.’

      He smiled, but then his smile faded as emotion swept him.

      ‘Oh, Ferne, don’t change,’ he said desperately. ‘Promise me you’ll never change, and then maybe I can dig deep in myself and find a little courage. Only it’s going to take more than just a little. It’s going to take a lot to show you myself as I really am, stupid and pig-headed, blind to what matters.’

      ‘Stop,’ she said, putting her fingers lightly over his mouth. ‘Don’t run yourself down.’

      He didn’t argue, just took hold of her fingers and moved his lips against them. His eyes were almost desperate. She stroked his face, willing him to take the last step that would join their hearts in the closeness that only honesty could bring.

      ‘Dante,’ she whispered. ‘Please—please.’

      Suddenly he gripped her tightly, drawing her to him and burying his face against her.

      ‘Help me,’ he said huskily. ‘Help me.’

      She held him eagerly, flooded with emotion that made it impossible to speak. His carefully constructed armour was cracking, revealing the vulnerability he’d striven so hard to hide, and she wanted only to enfold him, to offer him the help he’d finally sought. Now the moment had come, she was almost dizzy with joy and gratitude.

      ‘What’s this?’ he said, touching her face. ‘You’re crying.’

      ‘No, I’m not, not really. I’m just—’

      ‘Don’t cry.’ He was lightly brushing her tears away. ‘I didn’t mean to upset you.’

      ‘I’m not upset.’

      He took her face between his hands, looking down at her tenderly before dropping his mouth to hers. She kissed him back eagerly, trying to tell him silently that she was his in any way he wanted. If only they could take the next step.

      ‘I’m so lucky to have you,’ he said. ‘If only…’

      ‘If only…?’ she echoed wistfully.

      ‘If only I were worth it. There’s so much I want to say to you, but not just now. My head’s in a muddle—as usual,’ he finished, turning it into a joke.

      But she wouldn’t let him get away with that.

      ‘I don’t think this is your usual muddle,’ she persisted.

      ‘No, I’m getting worse. Be a little patient with me.’

      ‘All right,’ she said, trying not to sound sad.

      ‘Let’s go to bed,’ he said. ‘We’ve got a long drive tomorrow.’

      She was stunned, hardly able to believe that the emotion of a moment ago had vanished to nothing. They had come so close, and to see the prize snatched away at the last minute was hard. But she let him lead her unprotesting to bed. One incautious word from her, and the chance could be lost for ever.

      He pulled the clothes up over her and got in beside her, holding her briefly before kissing her goodnight. Then he turned over and went to sleep.

      She lay staring into the darkness, trying to come to terms with what had happened. It was disappointing to sense his withdrawal, yet she felt she understood. He’d meant to tell her—she was convinced—but he’d backed off, perhaps appalled by so nearly abandoning the caution of a lifetime.

      Now she must be patient and it would surely happen, for there had been something in his manner that had never been there before, a new trust and tenderness. His eyes had shone with a different light, and somewhere Ferne had sensed a door opening.

      How long had she loved him—right from the start? The signs had been there when he’d gone into the burning building and she, who’d coolly photographed Sandor’s betrayal, had forgotten everything but Dante’s danger.

      She’d deceived herself, believing she was only doing this for Hope, when the truth was she yearned to be with Dante. How could she ever have imagined that it was possible to be with this man night and day and not love him?

      The sadness had been to love him and hide from him, as he was hiding from her. But now that would soon be over, and she was feeling happy again as she fell asleep.

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