Twin Ties, Twin Joys: The Boss's Double Trouble Twins / Twins for a Christmas Bride / Baby Twins: Parents Needed. Raye Morgan

Чтение книги онлайн.

СКАЧАТЬ determined not to show how mixed his feelings were about her. “We can’t deny that we made two children together. And of course that it’s as much my problem as yours.”

      She reacted as though he’d attacked her. “My babies are not a problem!”

      He frowned, regretting his wording. “Darcy, relax. I didn’t mean it that way exactly.”

      She was glaring at him. “Obviously they are a problem for you.”

      He sighed, not sure how they’d gotten off to such a bad start so quickly. “That’s really not fair, Darcy. You knew from the beginning that my life was going to be nomadic. That I never expected to have a wife or kids because I couldn’t be fair to them. I never pretended otherwise.”

      She took a deep breath and nodded. “I know,” she said softly, her tone almost as good as an apology.

      “Okay. Listen, first of all I want to commend you for having the babies. I know that’s easy for me to say, not being with you or even knowing it was happening at the time. You went through it all by yourself for nine months. I can’t tell you how sorry I am. And how much I admire you for it.”

      “It was a beautiful period of my life,” she said somewhat defensively. There had been plenty of not-so-beautiful things about it, of course, but she wasn’t going to whine about them.

      “That may be,” he said. “But I know it was hard.”

      She bit her lip. If he kept being so nice about things, she would start to cry. Her eyes were already stinging and she knew what that meant, but she refused to let it happen. She would not cry in front of him! If tears came she was going to jump out of the car and throw herself over the edge and into the canyon.

      Well, not really. But thinking that gave her the strength to hold back the emotions that tried to overwhelm her.

      “So, tell me this,” he went on, staring out at the plains stretching out away from their position instead of looking her in the eye. “Why didn’t you put them up for adoption?”

      A sense of shock, very near horror, shot through her. Anger came tumbling behind it, but she pushed it back. She was going to stay calm if it killed her.

      “I guess I’m just too selfish,” she said gently.

      He nodded. “You did consider it?”

      “Of course. I went for counseling about it. I met some wonderful couples looking for babies, people who would have given my boys a great life, probably better than anything I can give them. But in the end …” She shook her head. “I just couldn’t do it. I wanted them so much.”

      He nodded again. “Okay. And you’re holding to that decision?”

      She stared at him. Just the fact that he could ask a question like that showed how little he understood what parenthood was all about.

      “Are you asking me to consider giving them up now? Are you insane?”

      He held up a hand. “Okay, okay. I just wanted to make sure. I want to get things perfectly clear between us.” He shifted uncomfortably in his seat. “I think we need to establish a base so that we can figure out how we’re going to do this. I want to provide for them in an equitable way so that the burden isn’t entirely on you.”

      She stared at him, vaguely aware that he was still talking, going on about monthly payments and trust funds and clothing allowances. He hadn’t said a thing about the boys themselves. He wanted to start writing checks to remove himself from the entire mess. He just didn’t get it, did he? The anger that had been simmering bubbled up.

      “Stop,” she said firmly. “I don’t want to hear it. It’s not money that I need from you.”

      He looked surprised. “If you’re talking about … well, commitments, Darcy, you know I can’t …”

      She looked away, avoiding his eyes. “I know that. I’m not asking you to completely change your life around.”

      “So what exactly are you asking from me, Darcy?” he asked softly.

      She closed her eyes. It was a darn good question. What she wanted in her heart of hearts was something impossible and she didn’t even bother bringing it up. Opening her eyes again, she turned and met his gaze. This was so important. If only she could find the right words to make him understand how very important it really was.

      “I’ve tried to think this through and define what’s best for the boys,” she said. “They need a dad. You’re the first choice. You don’t have to marry me to be their dad, you know. If you could imagine just being a presence in their lives …”

      Her voice choked and she stopped. He made a move toward her, but she pulled back.

      “If you don’t think you can do that,” she went on in a rush, “I wish you’d tell me right away. Because I’ll have to find someone else to be their father-figure.”

      His blue eyes registered shock at that. “What do you mean?”

      She straightened her shoulders, regaining her strength. “I think that was pretty clear. I’ll need to marry someone. Someone else,” she added hastily.

      “Someone else? Who?”

      She shook her head, feeling stronger all the time. “Oh, I don’t know. There are a few candidates.”

      “Kevin?” he asked, a hint of scorn in his tone.

      She shrugged. “He’s a possibility. But actually, I was thinking more along the lines of …” She hesitated, wondering if she really wanted to say this, then rushed ahead. “Bert Lensen in accounting.”

      “Bert Lensen?” He frowned. “Isn’t he that short, chubby, balding guy?”

      “Yes. Very nice man. Not married. Seems to like me. Always asks about the twins.”

      “Uh-huh” He shook his head, looking skeptical. He was beginning to suspect he was being snowed. “I don’t know, Darcy. I just don’t see you with a man like that.”

      “No?” Her eyes flashed. “Well, think again. He’s perfect, actually.”

      “Perfect! You’re not serious.”

      “Sure. I’m not looking for a weekend fling,” she said pointedly. “I’m looking for a ‘slow and steady wins the race’ sort of guy. I need a real father for my children. I need someone reliable.”

      “Unlike me.”

      She drew breath deep down into her lungs. She could read a deep sense of injury in his gaze. She hadn’t meant to hurt him, just make him think a little.

      “That’s not what I said.”

      “But it’s what you meant.” He turned away. “Face it, Darcy. Using your criteria, I’m not good enough to be the father of my own children.”

      “Mitch! I never said that!”

      “You didn’t have to say it. It’s СКАЧАТЬ