St Piran's: The Wedding!. Alison Roberts

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СКАЧАТЬ sound her grandmother would have been making as she pushed open a front door stiff with disuse and stepped into a space that felt just as cold as it was outside. A space that reeked of damp and mould and mice.

      Oh … hell …

      This was far worse than she’d expected.

      It wasn’t just the evidence of appalling neglect. The horrible smell of the rubbish left by the tenants littering the hallway or the ominous sound of trickling water coming from the kitchen. Or was it the bathroom upstairs? Probably both.

      It wasn’t the knowledge that there would be no electricity on yet and it mightn’t even be safe to have it turned back on until she found someone to check the wiring. It wasn’t even the wave of incredible weariness as Megan contemplated the energy it would take to sort any of this out.

      No. It was the feeling of being so alone.

      The result of the emotional punch of the memories of not being alone in this house.

      Not that Josh had ever stayed here. But this was where it had ended, wasn’t it? Her feet seemed to be literally treading memory lane. Taking her down the hallway and into her kitchen while her head and her heart conjured up the figure of Josh following her.

      Her feet crunched through pieces of broken glass on the kitchen floor.

      Her heart had been broken long ago. How on earth could it still hurt this much?

      Because it was here that Josh had prised that jug of water out of her hands? Just before he’d kissed her as if it was the end of the world and she was the only thing that mattered to him.

      Here that Josh had told her how much he loved her?

      When he’d told her that he couldn’t be in love with her any more because his wife was pregnant.

      She could actually hear echoes of his voice.

       I love you so much, which is why this is the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do …

       It was just one night, weeks before you and I …

      I love you, Megan … but no child of mine will grow up as I did, without a father. I won’t do that. I have to make this work.

      Yes. That had been when her heart had really broken. With the realisation that Josh had been lying to her when he’d told her the marriage was over. When she realised he’d still been sleeping with his wife at the time as he’d shared her bed.

      That was when she’d known that it was truly all over. When any hope had died. She had known that, despite the love they had for each other, they could never, ever be together. Nothing could change that. If Rebecca’s death hadn’t even made a dent, then being back in Penhally certainly wasn’t going to. That sense of betrayal was clearly still there. She’d thought she’d got over it all but the pain she was feeling right now was proof that she’d only managed to hide from it.

      The chirrup of her mobile phone announced a text message. It was from Tasha—the only friend she’d really kept in touch with over the last couple of years. Maybe because Tash had also left Penhally. Or because she’d understood. How ironic was it that Tasha was Josh’s sister?

      U there yet? The message read. How’s it going?

      Megan’s breath came out in a snort of wry amusement as she pulled off a woolly glove and tapped a response.

      Just got here. Bit messy.

      Would Tasha wonder what she was referring to? The house? Her emotional state? Her life?

      Maybe she knew. Hugs, came back. U OK?

      I will be. Thnx. Call u soon.

      Tasha would be worried about her. Her friend had been dubious about the return. Why not come somewhere sunny to recuperate? she’d suggested. Like San Savarre? Or London, which would be close enough to make sorting things out a little easier and she wouldn’t be so alone because Charles would be there, wouldn’t he? Being with such a good friend who knew the whole story would be the best protection from being vulnerable to ghosts from the past.

      She could cope, Megan had assured Tasha. It wouldn’t be for long. Yes, she knew that Josh had moved from the smart St Piran town house he’d shared with Rebecca and was living closer to Penhally now. Of course he had moved. He’d needed a bigger house and a garden for the children and for his mother, who’d gone to live with them. By tacit agreement, she and Tash rarely talked about her brother but in those early days Megan had needed to know that the babies had survived their dramatic entrance to the world and had gone on to thrive. She hadn’t really needed the later snippets that had told her Josh was a perfect father to little Max and Brenna. Or that his emergency department at St Piran’s hospital was considered to be the best in the county.

      Or that there were no women of any significance in his life. That he’d taken some sort of vow not to mess up anybody else’s life.

      His children and his career were all that mattered to Josh now. He probably wouldn’t even be interested that she was visiting the area. There was no reason for their paths to cross other than the fact that this was a small village.

      Megan closed her eyes to the view of Penhally Bay she still had in front of her through the kitchen window.

      Maybe it was time to really let go of the past.

      All of it.

      Sell her grandmother’s cottage and move on for ever.

      If the memories were this hard to handle, how on earth did she think she would cope if she actually met Josh again?

      The sooner she got out of here the better.

      Maybe she didn’t even need to think about fixing up the cottage. It wasn’t as if it would make much difference to the kind of money a developer would be happy to offer.

      She did need to find a place to stay for the night, however, and she really didn’t want to contact any old friends from St Piran’s even though she knew they would be happy to help.

      The information centre in the village should be able to direct her to somewhere that would have a room available. Too weary in both body and spirit to face carrying her suitcase, Megan locked it into the cottage, taking only her shoulder bag as she set off to walk down the hill.

      When she went back through the gate, however, the small path down to the beach caught her eye.

      Just a look, she told herself. A glimpse into part of her past that wasn’t associated with Josh. If she could feel the sand beneath her feet and close her eyes and breathe in the salty air, maybe she could remember something happier.

      A summer’s day, even. Building sandcastles and collecting shells and pieces of seaweed. Sitting on the damp sand with her bare legs stretched out in front of her, waiting for the thrill of the last wash of a wave to foam around her. Running back to the cottage to show Gran her new treasures.

      Maybe it should have been running into Josh unexpectedly that she should have prepared herself for.

      The dog on the beach was large enough СКАЧАТЬ