Reasons Not To Fall In Love. Kirsty Moseley

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СКАЧАТЬ supposed to be working the morning shift tomorrow. Is there some way I could get the day off so that I can stay over with my mum?” I asked, pleading with my eyes. Dave was a bit of a soft touch, so I was praying that the begging would work.

      He sighed and rubbed the back of his neck. “I need a waitress.”

      I winced. “What if I asked someone else to cover?” I begged.

      He frowned and then rolled his eyes. “As long as I have a waitress then I don’t care who comes in and who doesn’t. Just sort it out amongst yourselves then, all right?”

      I squealed and nodded, immediately grabbing my mobile and calling Karen to ask her to trade shifts with me, tomorrow for Sunday instead. It took a little convincing, but finally she agreed, so I was now free to go.

      Next, I put in a call to Finn to tell him the good news. “Hey, buttercup,” he greeted as he answered. The sounds of a video game in the background only meant one thing – that he was round his friend Doug’s place. I sighed. Sometimes, Finn was like an overgrown man-child.

      “Hey, where are you?” I enquired, leaning up against the wall of the staff room.

      He laughed. “You keeping tabs on me again? I’ll be home later, don’t you worry about that,” he replied, skilfully deflecting my question.

      I sighed and closed my eyes. I hated my life. It was so hard not to resent Finn, it really was. I was holding down two jobs, on my feet all day practically every day, and yet he was still ‘looking for a new job’ after he got laid off a couple of months ago. I knew jobs were hard to find, I knew that he tried, but that didn’t stop me from getting angry with him that he was sitting at his friend’s house fooling around instead of doing something practical. Even just something small like running the hoover around our small, tired flat would take some of the pressure off me. But no, things like that didn’t happen.

      “Skye had her baby. A little girl. She’s called her Evie,” I announced.

      Finn, as I expected, wasn’t overly bothered by the sound of his response. “That’s nice.” He was still playing the game in the background; I could hear guns blazing and Doug shouting things at the TV.

      I frowned, trying not to let him ruin my happy mood. “Yeah. So, can you go home and pack up some overnight things for the three of us? That’ll save some time. I finish work at half past two so I’ll go pick up Theo from school, and you can meet us just outside the school gates. I’ll snag us some food to eat in the car. It shouldn’t take more than an hour and a half to get there.”

      “What, car, what you talking about?” he asked, now obviously tuning in to what I was saying.

      I sighed deeply. “Visiting hours start at seven tonight. Mum said we could stay at hers for a couple of days, but I’ve just switched shifts with Karen so I need to be back here for Sunday morning. We can stay there tonight though and then drive back tomorrow or something,” I explained.

      “That sounds like a great plan,” Finn replied. I smiled and nodded, but the smile fell from my face as he continued, “But I’ve been drinking so I can’t drive.”

      My heart sank. “You’ve been drinking? Seriously? It’s not even lunchtime!” I stated incredulously.

      “I’ve only had two beers, but I’ll be over the limit. I can’t drive. Plus, I have plans tonight anyway,” he answered.

      I scowled down at the floor at the word ‘plans’. I didn’t need him to tell me what his ‘plans’ were, I would bet last week’s pay cheque that it involved him getting drunk, losing money at cards and, if he was drunk enough, sleeping with some slut who happened to look in his direction. I tried to keep my cool and not shout at him. I was used to things like this; he’d been cheating on me with anything that moved for the last four years. At this point, I genuinely couldn’t care less. I was with him because I didn’t want to be on my own and because Theo deserved a dad.

      Of course, I’d broken it off once. Three years ago I got it into my head that I didn’t deserve to be treated like that, and I’d left him. I was strong for a while, and Theo and I coped on our own for almost a month. Then the unthinkable happened. One night, while Theo and I slept, a man broke into the poky little flat that we lived in. I’d woken to find him raiding my living room, looking for cash or anything that he could pawn to buy drugs if looking at him was anything to go by. He hadn’t hurt us; he’d actually looked just as startled as I had felt when I stumbled upon him with my handbag in his hand and my mother’s china figurine in the other. He’d run out of there as fast as his legs could carry him, barely getting away with anything – but that encounter had struck a deep terror into my heart because I knew, deep down, that if he’d wanted to hurt us, he could have done. If hurting us had been his intention, I would have been powerless to stop him. I hadn’t slept right for days after; nightmares of me being unable to protect my defenceless young baby plagued my mind. That was when I made the decision that I regretted almost every day – I took Finn back. But, admittedly, having a man there at night time gave me that safe feeling back that I so desperately needed after seeing someone force their way into my home. Having Finn there kept me and my son safe, and stopped me worrying about things that would have played on my mind otherwise.

      There was no longer any love between us; hell, we barely even tolerated each other at times. Sometimes I even struggled to remember what it was that I saw in him the first place. Usually I convinced myself that it was his looks that I fell for, though even those had lost their appeal to me because I knew he’d rather be off sleeping with other girls than me. Ours was a marriage of convenience, even though it was inconvenient most of the time. Another reason I was with him was because I didn’t have the energy to find anyone else. I’d been young when we’d gotten together, merely seventeen, and I knew that the dating scene had moved on pretty rapidly since I was last a part of it. In my opinion, I was too old to be single again, so I’d just have to suffer and grin and bear it. Many women went through their lives in an unhappy marriage. I was no different to any of them. Not everyone found their Mr Darcy and lived happily ever after, some people just had to take what they could get and be thankful. Clearly I was one of those people.

      “But I need to go there tonight. That’s my sister and my niece,” I grumbled, kicking the toe of my shoe against the wall in anger.

      Finn sighed dramatically. “If you really have to go there tonight then take a train or something. It’s a waste of bloody money but just do what you want. I guess I can cancel my plans and have Theo.”

      I recoiled, shocked at his words. He never usually did anything for me, but now he was offering to cancel his plans and stay home with our son? “Seriously?” I hadn’t considered a train, but I could easily do that.

      “Yeah, whatever. You’ve been banging on about this baby for months. I honestly can’t take the pouting and whining you’ll do if you don’t get to go there. I’ll get the blame all night long because I had a couple of beers to unwind.”

      I smiled weakly. So he wasn’t suggesting that I go for me, he was suggesting that I go because I’d be complaining and blaming him if I didn’t. Typical Finn, something that benefitted him again.

      “Will you come tomorrow and pick me up? Bring Theo so he can see my mum?” I asked hopefully. My mum would be upset if she didn’t get to see her grandson too.

      He groaned loudly. “Can’t you just buy a return ticket?”

      “Finn, please?” I begged. “My mum would love to see you two.” That wasn’t strictly СКАЧАТЬ