An Engagement in Seattle: Groom Wanted. Debbie Macomber

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СКАЧАТЬ not good enough. I want the words.”

      “I…need you. Oh, Alek, I’m so scared.”

      He held her, kissed her gently, reassured her while she rested her head on his shoulder and cried until her tears were spent.

      “I don’t know why you put up with me,” she finally gasped.

      “You don’t?” he asked, chuckling softly. “I have the feeling you’ll figure it out soon enough, my love.”

      Her intercom hummed and Virginia’s voice echoed through the silence. “Your nine-thirty appointment is here.”

      Her eyes regretfully met Alek’s.

      “Send whoever it is away,” Alek urged.

      “I…I can’t do that.”

      “I know,” he said, and kissed the tip of her nose. He released her slowly.

      Just when Julia was convinced her day couldn’t possibly get any more complicated, she received a call from Virginia Mason Hospital. Her grandmother had slipped into a coma.

      Jerry was away, so she left a message for him and for Alek, canceled her appointments for the rest of the day and drove directly to the hospital.

      Julia realized the instant she walked into her grandmother’s room that Ruth’s hold on life was tenuous, a slender thread. Her heart was failing, and Julia felt as though her own heart was in jeopardy, too.

      In the past few years she’d faced a handful of crises, starting with the fire that had nearly destroyed the business and their family. Her father’s death had followed. Immediately afterward she’d realized Roger had used her, had sold out her family. And her.

      Ruth, her beloved Ruth, was dying, and Julia was powerless to stop it. She was terrified. For the past months she’d watched helplessly as her grandmother’s health deteriorated.

      Sitting at Ruth’s bedside now, Julia could almost hear the older woman’s calming voice. “My death is inevitable—” the unspoken words rang in her head “—but not unwelcome.”

      Silently Julia pleaded with her grandmother to live just a little longer, to give her time to adjust, to grant her a few days to gather her courage. Even as she spoke, Julia recognized how selfish she was being, thinking of herself, of her own pain. But she couldn’t make herself stop praying that God would spare her grandmother.

      “You have walked through your pain,” the silent voice continued. “The journey has made you wiser and far stronger than you know.”

      Julia wanted to argue. She didn’t feel strong. Not when it seemed Ruth was about to be taken from her. She felt pushed to the limits, looking both ways—toward despair in one direction and hope in the other, toward doubt and faith.

      An hour passed as Julia struggled with her grief, refusing to let it overwhelm her. Fear controlled her, the knowledge that if she gave in to her grief, she might never regain her sanity.

      “Please,” she pleaded aloud, praying Ruth heard her. It was the selfish prayer of a frightened child.

      Jerry arrived, pale and shaken. “What happened?”

      Julia shrugged. Their grandmother’s physician, Dr. Silverman, had been in earlier to explain the medical symptoms and reasons. Most of what he’d said had meant only one thing. Ruth was close to death.

      “She’s in a coma,” Julia answered. “I talked to her doctor earlier. He’s surprised she’s hung on this long.”

      Her brother pulled out a chair and sat down next to Julia. “I love this old woman, really love her.”

      “What are we going to do without her, Jerry?”

      Her brother shook his head. “I don’t know. We’ll make do the way we always have, I suppose.”

      “I’m going to miss her so much.” Julia heard the tears in her voice.

      “I know.” He reached for Julia’s hand and gently squeezed it. “Alek phoned. He’ll be here as soon as he can.”

      Julia instinctively wanted Alek with her. She’d never needed him like this before. That thought produced another regret. Alek was devoted to her and she didn’t deserve it. She’d treated him terribly and yet he loved her.

      Her grief, fed by her burning tears and broken dreams, was overwhelming. She couldn’t sit still; she stood and started pacing, then returned to her chair.

      They sat silently for another hour. She did what she could to make her grandmother more comfortable. She held Ruth’s hand, read her favorite passages from Scripture, stroked her forehead.

      “I have to go.” Jerry spoke from behind her.

      Understanding, Julia nodded. She loved her brother and knew he was grieving in his own way. She was grateful he was leaving; she preferred this time alone with Ruth.

      “When will you go home?” he asked.

      “I don’t know yet.”

      The next thing she heard was the sound of the door closing. Being alone was a relief and a burden. Julia recognized the inconsistency of her reactions. Never had she craved Alek’s company more, and yet she wanted these hours alone with her grandmother, sensing that it would be the last time they’d be together.

      She found it ironic that hope and despair could feel the same to her.

      The nurses came in a number of times. One encouraged her to take a break, go have some dinner, but Julia refused. She was afraid to leave, fearing that once she did, her grandmother would quietly release her hold on life.

      Leaning her forehead against the side of the hospital bed, Julia must have dozed because the next thing she knew Alek was there.

      “How is she?”

      “There’s been no change.”

      Alek sat down next to Julia. “Have you had dinner?”

      “I’m not hungry.”

      Alek nodded and when he spoke again it was in his own language, which had a distinct beauty. Whatever he was saying seemed to please her grandmother because Ruth smiled. At first Julia was convinced she’d imagined it, which would’ve been easy enough to do. But there was no denying the change in Ruth’s ashen features.

      “It’s midnight, my love.”

      Julia glanced at her watch, sure he was mistaken. She must have slept longer than she’d realized.

      “Come,” he said, standing behind her, his hands on her shoulders. “I’ll drive you home.”

      She shook her head, unwilling to leave.

      “You aren’t doing her any good, and you’re running yourself down, both physically and mentally.”

      “You go ahead,” she said. СКАЧАТЬ