Safe in Noah's Arms. Mary Sullivan

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СКАЧАТЬ of all, we shouldn’t have had coffee at those houses.”

      “Oh, that. Yeah, I’m wired on caffeine, but I don’t want to hurt their feelings by saying no.”

      “I don’t mean that.” She flipped hair out of her face with an impatient hand. “Coffee and tea are expensive. If they can’t afford vegetables, they certainly can’t afford to replace whatever meager supplies of coffee they might have. We’re robbing them of a treat for themselves.”

      He hadn’t thought of that. She was right. Both were expensive commodities. Suddenly he got a terrible feeling maybe they kept them on hand just for his visits.

      “Also...”

      “There’s more I’m doing wrong?” He didn’t bother to quell the sarcasm in his voice. He didn’t believe in sarcasm, liked to deal with people honestly, but she’d just blown his decency out of the water. Doing it all wrong, my ass.

      “You shouldn’t deliver the groceries to them—”

      “Some families are too embarrassed to drive into Denver to the food bank, not to mention using gas.”

      “I can imagine. I would be, too. What I meant to say, before you interrupted me so rudely, was that you shouldn’t deliver the groceries when they’re home. Deliver them when they’re sleeping or when they’re at work or church or something.”

      She’d snagged his curiosity. “Why?”

      “Those visits were brutally difficult. All of that awkward small talk. We’re not meeting them as equals. It’s not a social visit. They were chagrined that we were there delivering charity to them.”

      “So?”

      “So-o-o...” She exaggerated the word, as though speaking to a child. The woman knew how to get his dander up. “If the visits are hard for us, imagine how hard they are for them. If you’re delivering food once every week or two, then you’re drinking their coffee and embarrassing them on a regular basis.”

      Even though it hurt his pride, he admitted she was making sense.

      “Plus,” she said with such emphasis he grew wary, “you’re not doing enough.”

      “What?” She’d poleaxed him again. Swear words bounced around inside his head like pinballs. “Are you kidding me? How can you say that? I work from dawn ’til midnight every day. I’m doing all I can.”

      “I know you work hard.” She patted his arm.

      “Don’t condescend to me.” He sounded fierce.

      “Sorry. I hate when people do that to me. I won’t do it again.” She removed her hand. “You do great work, Noah, but you could do more.”

      “More?” Heat blazing through him like a bonfire, his tone could char toast. Her criticism was so damned unfair. “I work my butt off fourteen hours a day. I do the work that everyone should be doing, but hardly anyone does—caring for my fellow man and the environment. This stuff should be universal. It should come naturally to everyone. But I’m the only one in this community out here doing it day in and day out.” He poked himself in the chest so hard it hurt.

      She opened her mouth to speak, but he ran roughshod over her. Not doing enough, my patootie.

      “If that sounds arrogant or self-righteous, too bad. I have more passion about these issues in my baby finger than you do in your whole body. I believe in peace and love and communal property and service for the greater good. You believe in clothes, fancy cars, Calvin Klein—”

      She gasped. “I never wear Calvin Klein—”

      “—and rampant consumerism. You’re the most shallow person I know.”

      Only when silence filled the quiet cab did Noah realize he’d been shouting, his last sentence ringing like the bong of a brass bell, its echo still reverberating like a heartbeat.

      Oh, geez, that was bad. He shouldn’t have been so harsh. Honesty was a good thing, but not when it devastated another soul...

      Tentatively, he glanced at Monica.

      She stared out the passenger window, her blond hair falling forward and hiding her face.

      Oh, sweet freaking crap. He’d hurt her. He didn’t do that to people.

      Noah struggled to calm his thundering pulse. Sure, he had no patience for excess and waste and hunger and poverty, but he never lashed out at individuals unless they were doing truly egregious things. He never spoke this harshly. He never insulted people or called them names.

      She’d been getting under his skin since she’d stepped onto his farm and started ripping out tender plants instead of weeds.

      He’d learned, as Audrey had said, that it was easy to underestimate Monica. While she might have an uncomplicated soul, she wasn’t stupid. On the other hand, she had no right to criticize him. He did a world of good for those in need while she sat at home and painted her fingernails pink or, worse, paid someone else to do it.

      While Kayla struggled to feed her family, Monica probably had weekly manis, pedis and whatever else people did at spas.

      Breathing deeply of the warm air flowing through his open window, he pulled himself under control. His anger was doing neither of them any good.

      He heard her sniff and a surge of remorse flooded him.

      He placed his fingers on the cool skin of her arm, but she jerked it away from him and shrank against the car door.

      “I’m sorry. Really. Don’t cry.”

      She rounded on him, red spots on her high cheekbones. “I’m not crying. I’m angry.” She leaned toward him, straining against her seat belt. “I do a lot more than you give me credit for. You’ve always thought you were better than me.”

      “What? It’s the other way around,” he yelled. He jabbed a finger her way. “You think you’re better than me. You’ve got it backward.”

      “I do not,” she responded hotly. “I think you’re hardworking and smart. You think I’m lazy and stupid. So who thinks he’s better than whom?”

      Okay, so maybe he did think she was lazy and did nothing much outside of shopping and pampering her body. He knew she and his mom liked to go to spas together. It was like Mom had adopted her as another child. And yeah, he might think Monica was lazy. How hard could working in a gallery be?

      He mimicked her in his mind. Who thinks he’s better than whom? It was petty, but it felt good. As quickly as his indignation flared, it abated. Her shot had been a bull’s-eye. He did think himself superior to her, and to all of her kind.

      And that was wrong. He needed to see her as an individual, and he needed to remember that he trusted Audrey’s opinion. If she saw more in Monica than what was on the surface, he should, too. Besides, he had seen glimmers of depth in her today.

      His righteousness deflated.

      “Tell СКАЧАТЬ