Название: This Fragile Life
Автор: Кейт Хьюит
Издательство: HarperCollins
Жанр: Историческая литература
isbn: 9781472017109
isbn:
From behind her I hear a man’s voice, a low growl of Spanish. The chain rattles and the door swings wide open; a surly-looking man, no more than twenty-five, glares at me and I feel my heart pound in my chest.
“I’m looking for Ramon.”
“Véte,” he growls, which I know means something like ‘get the hell out of here’.
I swallow, make sure to still meet his eye. I am terrified of this man, of this situation, and of how vulnerable I am, with this fragile life pulsing faintly within me. The surge of protectiveness is sudden and undeniable, and I want to put a hand to my belly and shield my own child in a way I wasn’t able to shield Ramon. I resist the revealing gesture, but only just.
“Is he here?” I ask, and my voice trembles.
The man’s mouth thins. He takes a step towards me, one hand now clenched into a fist. “Rajá“
I take a step back and the door slams. I swallow, my mouth dry, and my stomach cramps. Swallowing again, choking back bile, I turn back down the corridor.
I keep my head down as I hurry down the stairs, through the projects, out onto Avenue D and then across to the center. The party is over, and the other staff are mopping the floor with its scattering of crumbs and pale puddles of spilled punch.
Jim glances at me from across the room, his face caught in a frown. “Alex—”
“I need to talk to you, Jim,” I say, starting towards him, but there is something wrong because he is shaking his head as he points to me.
That’s when I feel the stickiness on my thighs I hadn’t noticed before, and when I look down I see that my shorts are covered in blood.
Chapter 13
MARTHA
As soon as my cell phone rings at work I know it’s Alex. I set her number to a different ringtone, a soothing cricket chirp because God knows I’m tense enough already.
And I’m even tenser when I answer the call, because I hear the ragged note of tears in her voice.
“Martha—”
“Alex? Alex, what’s—?”
“I’m bleeding, Martha.”
“Bleeding?” Everything in me freezes. “What? What happened—?”
“It just started all of a sudden.” She makes a choking sound, as if she’s holding back a sob. “There’s a lot of blood.”
“Where are you?” My voice is high, sharp with anxiety. With terror.
“I’m at the center.”
Way downtown. I feel icy with adrenalin and shock. “Let me call the OB,” I say, striving for calm. “I’ve met with her before. I could get you an appointment today.”
“I’ll call,” Alex says after a moment, her voice still shaky.
“Okay. You have the number? You’ll call me when you hear?” My voice is sharp again.
“Yes,” she says, subdued now. “Yes, I’ll call you.”
I spend the next twenty minutes staring at my computer screen, simply waiting. Finally the phone rings and I snatch at it. “Alex?”
“They’ll see me today,” she says quietly. “At four.”
“I’ll be there.” Too late I realize that Alex might not want me there. But I need to be there. Still I force myself to say, “Only if you want me to. If you want somebody to go to the appointment with.”
Alex is silent for a long moment and I wait, my breath held, my heart beating hard. “I’d like that,” she finally says, softly, and I try to let my breath out slowly, so she doesn’t hear my rush of relief.
I leave the office at three-thirty and run into my direct supervisor, Mark Sheehan, in the corridor. He sees me obviously on the way out and raises his eyebrows.
“Going somewhere, Martha? We’re meeting in five upstairs, I thought.”
Shit. There is a pitch meeting for our newest account. I gave the main pitch to one of my juniors but I absolutely should be there, backing him up and adding my own spin. But I can’t. I can’’t.
“I’m really sorry, Mark,” I say. “I have a family emergency.”
“Family emergency,” he repeats, and I can tell he doesn’t believe me, which pisses me off. I haven’t taken all of my vacation days in any of the last three years. And most of the ones I took were for IVF appointments.
“Yes,” I say firmly, and meet his eye. “Family emergency.”
His mouth thinning, he nods, and I hurry towards the elevators, everything forgotten except for Alex—and my baby.
Chapter 14
ALEX
Martha meets me outside the OB’s office on York Avenue; she looks pale and tense, but as soon as she sees me she gives me a quick, tight hug, lasting only a few seconds, which is still a lot for her. And I’m glad of it; I need the contact. When I realized I was bleeding she was the first person I thought of calling. I knew I needed her strength, her sensibility, and I’m glad she’s here now.
“You okay?” she asks and I shake my head.
“I don’t know.”
She catches sight of my shorts; I sponged the blood stains but they’re still visible. “Oh, God.” She goes even paler. “I’m sorry.”
I blink back tears. “Me too.”
She takes my arm and leads me inside. The OB’s office is plush, posh, the kind with comfortable chairs and potted plants and up-to-date, high-end magazines. The kind of office I haven’t been to in a long time.
I feel conspicuous in my stained shorts and camp tee shirt, and the receptionist’s silence is eloquent as she hands me a clipboard with space for all the insurance information I don’t have.
I’ve never really thought of myself as poor, maybe because it always seemed like a choice. I love my job, so it doesn’t matter if I don’t earn a lot of money. I’ve never wanted things, clothes or furniture or vacations. I suppose I’ve thought of myself, a bit self-consciously, as a bohemian. Whenever I’ve seenMartha with her power suits and smartphone and relentless drive, I’ve probably felt a little…smug.
Until now. Until pregnancy made me realize how transient and flimsy my life really is, without any foundations or safety nets. And right now I’m floundering, while if Martha brought a baby home tomorrow, she’d be fine. Fine.
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