Her Mother's Shadow. Diane Chamberlain

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СКАЧАТЬ poured into her small home studio, filling it with color from the panels of glass hanging in the windows. The room was at the back of the keeper’s house, away from the ocean and the lighthouse. Her view was of the stretch of sand between the house and the scrubby maritime growth in the distance. There were two worktables, one where she drew her designs out on paper, the other where she cut glass. Sitting down at that second table, she reached for the phone and dialed one of the numbers on the list.

      “She’s in the ICU,” the hospital operator told her after Lacey gave her Jessica’s name. “No phones in the rooms up there.”

      The ICU. She pictured machines and tubes. Respirators and EKGs. Poor Jess.

      “Can I find out how she’s doing?” Lacey asked. “Maybe talk to a nurse?”

      “Hold on.” The operator sounded sick of her job. “I’ll connect you to the ICU.”

      A woman answered quickly, her voice friendly and upbeat.

      “Hello,” Lacey said. “I’m calling to find out how one of your patients is doing. Jessica Dillard.”

      “Are you family?” the woman asked.

      “Nearly,” Lacey said. “A very close friend.”

      “Her condition’s been upgraded from critical to serious,” the woman said.

      “Critical!” Lacey said. “I had no idea it was that bad.”

      “She’s doing much better now,” the woman reassured her. “We’ll be moving her out of the ICU sometime this afternoon. Would you like to speak with her? I can carry the cordless into her room.”

      “Oh, yes, please,” Lacey said. Jessica was well enough to talk. Thank God.

      A few moments passed, and she could hear a rustling sound. The next voice she heard on the phone was weak but familiar.

      “Hello?” Jessica said.

      “Jess, it’s Lacey.”

      “Lacey.” She sounded tired. Maybe half-asleep. “You’re so sweet to call.”

      “How do you feel? Are you in terrible pain?”

      She was slow to answer. “I think I would be if they weren’t pumping me with drugs,” she said. “How did you know I was here? Did Mom call you?”

      “She came into the studio to tell me about the accident and that she’s going out there to help with Mackenzie.”

      “Poor Mackenzie,” Jessica said. “I think it was worse for her than for me, since I was knocked out and don’t remember a thing.”

      “Do you want me to come out, too?” Lacey asked. “I can, you know. I mean, Dad has enough help that he can get by for a few days without—”

      “No,” Jessica said. “I’ll be fine. But you have to promise me that you’ll come visit after I’ve recovered, okay? All these years I’ve been out here, and you’ve never visited.”

      Lacey had to smile. As terrible as Jessica must be feeling, she was still able to push her guilt buttons. And she was right. Lacey always said she would visit Jessica “some day soon,” but in the nearly twelve years Jessica had lived in Phoenix, that day had never come.

      “I will,” she said. “I promise.”

      Jessica sighed. “I was so lucky, Lace,” she said. “This morning they told me how close I’d come to dying. I am going to really embrace every minute of my life from now on. You do the same, okay?”

      “You sound so strong,” Lacey marveled. “How did you get that way?”

      Jessica laughed, though the sound was weak. “Motherhood,” she said. “It either makes you strong or it kills you.”

      “I love you,” Lacey said.

      “Love you, too, Lace. Don’t worry about me, okay?”

      “Okay.”

      Lacey hung up the phone, relieved by the conversation and wondering what she could do to help from two thousand miles away. Sending flowers was one option, but Jessica would probably get plenty of those. She’d buy her books and magazines, things to help her pass the time as she healed. Yet even that idea didn’t ease her powerless feeling, and she wished she could do more.

      She had no idea just how much she would be asked to do.

       9

      LEDA AND JUDY HAD BEEN WRONG ABOUT THE rules. It wasn’t until Faye’s sixth date with Jim that they finally made love. And by then she felt so comfortable with him, so trusting and at home, that she was no longer anxious about her body or her performance. He had shared so much with her about himself and his life. He’d told her about his own performance anxiety—he’d had some prostate problems a few years ago—and she’d been able to share her own insecurities about her weight, her crepey skin, her wrinkles. He had only laughed, as though her concerns had been the furthest thing from his mind.

      Of course, once the line had been crossed, they spent a lot more time in bed than they did going to dinner or the movies. The third time they made love, they had not even bothered with the pretense of going out. She drove directly from work to his house. She was exhausted, having taught an all-day seminar for chronic pain clinicians, and although she’d loved every minute of the training, it had taken a lot out of her. She found new energy in the car, though, as she thought about spending the evening with Jim.

      It was the first time she’d been in his home, and he gave her a short tour before leading her up to the master suite. She’d known he had money, but she hadn’t expected the absolute luxury that surrounded her when she walked into the grand foyer. It was obvious that every inch of the house had been professionally decorated, and she couldn’t help but wonder if she was seeing Jim’s taste in the elaborate window treatments and floral print upholstery or his late wife’s.

      The view from the bedroom—from nearly every room of the house, actually—was spectacular. The house stood on a hillside, and in the evening light La Jolla stretched out beneath it like a quilt. The sun was a vivid coral as it drifted toward the sea. Faye studied the scene before her with great attention, doing her best to ignore the fact that she would soon climb into Alice Price’s antique bed. Was Jim thinking about that, too? Did it feel strange to him to have another woman in this room?

      The thought slipped from her mind, though, as he began undressing her. Lovemaking with Jim was slow and sweet, and Judy had been right about him leaving her satisfied. Judy would have to speculate about that, though, since Faye had stopped sharing private information with her and Leda, much to their frustration.

      After they made love and darkness had fallen in the room, Jim hugged her close and let out a long sigh. It sounded like contentment to her, and she nestled her head against his shoulder.

      “I’ve been thinking about you a lot the past couple of days,” he said, rubbing her bare shoulder.

      “You have?”

      “I want you to know how much I’ve appreciated СКАЧАТЬ