Escape to Willow Cottage: The brilliant, laugh-out-loud romcom you need to read in autumn 2018. Bella Osborne

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      Kyle didn’t answer, he just pointed at Ernie.

      ‘Oh, that’s Ernie. It’s okay, he won’t hurt you, he’s not dangerous,’ said Beth into her mobile. She wasn’t entirely sure that was true but she needed Kyle to get out of the van. Kyle switched off the phone and scooted along the seats until he could climb out of the passenger door.

      ‘This way,’ said Beth, keen to ignore the Ernie situation.

      ‘Is he a bit …’ Kyle tapped his head to finish the sentence.

      ‘I’m not sure really, but he seems to fit in well here.’

      Beth took Kyle round the back of the cottage and he was already sucking his teeth before he’d even seen the inside. Beth tried each key on the plastic cable tie that was keeping them together. Every key was old, some were rusty but none of them fitted. Kyle was busy poking at brickwork and shaking his head at the roof so she systematically tried each key again – no luck. As she stepped back she noticed another lock further down on the bottom half of the stable door.

      ‘I wonder,’ she muttered to herself as she crouched down. The third key she tried turned grudgingly in the lock and she was able to push open the bottom half of the reluctant door and it creaked in protest. ‘I’m in!’ she called to Kyle as, adopting an unattractive walking crouch position, she waddled inside.

      It was dark and musty. Beth squinted and still she couldn’t see anything. Suddenly a beam of light blinded her and Kyle appeared carrying a large torch and doing the same odd crouching walk that she’d done. They stood up and dusted themselves down as Kyle shone the torch around to reveal that they were in a kitchen. That was if a ceramic butler-style sink and an elderly stove was enough to qualify it as such. A brief glance at the floor revealed chunky-looking floorboards, a much darker shade than they should be thanks to the dirt. Beth was aware of something where the window was despite it being boarded up so she pointed for Kyle to shine the torch in that direction.

      It appeared that the plant that dominated the outside of the house was also doing a comprehensive job on the inside too. ‘Oh my God!’ said Beth, as she took in the expanse of the creeping vegetation and the maze of spider’s webs clinging to it.

      Kyle strode out of the kitchen leaving Beth with only two choices – stay in the dark with the spiders or scuttle after him. In the dark she tripped up a small step that led out of the kitchen but thankfully the dark hid her blushes as she scooted after Kyle. There were two more rooms downstairs; one was completely empty and the other had an open fireplace with a large beam above it. From the glimpse she saw, it looked promising and definitely the sort of feature she could emphasize as a focal point. As Kyle headed upstairs the torch glinted off something on the grimy wall. Beth reached out to touch it before the light disappeared and the contact of her fingers sent it crashing to the ground.

      ‘Hang on, Kyle. Shine that torch this way would you, please.’

      Kyle reappeared and shone the light in her face. With her eyes tight shut she pointed at the floor and the torch beam followed her finger. She opened her eyes to see a dusty photo frame in pieces at her feet. Beth bent down and, carefully sifting through the broken glass, she picked out the photograph.

      Holding it in the light she could study the black and white picture. Its edges were tatty implying it hadn’t spent its life in the frame. There was a middle-aged woman, her hair pinned back in a style reminiscent of the war years. She was laughing and in front of her she was hugging a small boy who was beaming a smile at the camera. Beth felt herself smile. She turned it over and read the swirly writing on the back: ‘Dearest Frank/Daddy With all our love at Christmas time Elsie & Wilf (Christmas 1944)’.

      Kyle coughed and the torchlight wobbled. ‘Do you want to stay down here while I take a look upstairs?’

      ‘No, I’ll come up, thanks.’ Beth put the photograph safely inside her T-shirt so that it didn’t get damaged. The smiling faces gave a little hope that once upon a time a family had been happy here. So perhaps she could restore it to somewhere liveable for another family in the future.

      ‘Best be careful. It may not be stable,’ said Kyle, pointing at the stairs. He proceeded to demonstrate his caution as he took each stair one at a time and tested it first with a stomp of his boot before putting his weight on it. Halfway up Beth huffed her frustration at the slow progress.

      When they eventually reached the top, Beth could see they were on a small landing and a beautifully carved balustrade, with the odd missing spindle, which was protecting them from the stairwell. Kyle opened a door to reveal the grimmest-looking bathroom Beth had ever seen – even the spiders hadn’t settled in here. Its avocado bath and toilet mismatched with the pink sink and the curly-edged linoleum floor finished off the ghastly ensemble, which was all covered in a layer of grime. The last two rooms were the bedrooms; both were a good size but one was particularly attractive as it had a sloped ceiling on one side, even if it did have a large brown patch in the centre, and there was also a step down making it into two levels. She was pleased with the quirky nature of its layout and could see what a lovely room it would make for a child but the thought of the work required took her breath away. She gave herself a small shake; she had to think of this as a business venture, as a project to be managed. This wasn’t going to be their long-term home, she couldn’t afford to invest heavily in it right now and she didn’t need to lavish it with the same love and attention she would her own home. She just needed to do it up and get it sold.

      Beth was deep in thought when a bang made her jump. Kyle swung round and aimed the torch beam at the stairs to reveal Ernie. He was clutching the handrail tightly and frowning deeply, only an arm’s reach away from Beth.

      ‘Out!’ he shouted, his voice deep and raspy.

      Beth stood her ground although her pulse was racing. ‘Ernie, please don’t shout. Let’s go outside and I’ll explain.’

      ‘Out,’ he repeated, but with less ferocity as Beth gently guided him back down the stairs with Kyle erratically waving the torch above her head. When they reached the back door, Ernie stood back so that Beth could go first. She resumed her crouching position and shuffled out under the stable door.

      She heard Ernie expertly wriggling a bolt on the top half of the door, it opened and he and Kyle walked out. Thanks a bunch, thought Beth as she dusted herself down.

      ‘Ernie. This is my house now.’

      Ernie didn’t seem to understand as he was shaking his head. ‘No. Wilf’s house.’

      Beth remembered the photograph. She retrieved it from under her T-shirt, at which Ernie looked a little alarmed.

      ‘Here,’ she offered him the photo, ‘Wilf.’

      Ernie leaned forward to take a proper look and a grin spread quickly across his haggard face.

      ‘Wilf,’ he repeated.

      Beth tried to pass him the photograph but he refused with a wave of his hand.

      ‘I’m going to live here with my son.’ Ernie looked confused again. ‘Like Elsie and Wilf did.’

      ‘Elsie?’ Ernie’s voice was soft and his eyes instantly welled with tears. Beth’s heart went out to him and she willed him to understand.

      ‘Yes. Leo and me. We’ll live here like Wilf and Elsie. Oh and,’ she checked the back of the photo. ‘Frank.’

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