Heroes of the South Atlantic. Shaun Clarke

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СКАЧАТЬ ‘layer system’, whereby layers of clothing are added or taken away depending on the temperature and level of activity. If moisture is trapped inside garments, sweat cools very quickly in the Arctic and the wearer starts freezing. Most of the Arctic battle gear was therefore made from Gore-tex, which keeps heat in but allows moisture to escape.

      Other items of kit distributed to the Regiment that first morning included mittens, face masks, ski boots, snow shoes and skis. Nevertheless, even kitted out like this, the kind of training the Regiment could do was fairly limited. Wearing their bulky Gore-tex weatherproof jackets, wool sweaters, Royal Marine camouflage trousers and heavy boots in the heat of Ascension Island was a distinctly uncomfortable way of undergoing so-called ‘special training’. As for the training itself, given that the Arctic climate of the Falklands had to be simulated in a very different environment, very little new, relevant training could be managed. They tested their weapons on the firing range, rehearsed in canoes and Gemini inflatable assault boats in the shallow waters just off the beach, and practised abseiling from noisily hovering Wessex helicopters. But most of it was fairly basic stuff and all too familiar.

      ‘We’re just wanking here,’ Gumboot said, summarizing the widespread feeling of frustration. ‘Just passing time. Those Navy choppers are cross-decking troops every day, so they can be shipped on to the Falklands – it’s just us being left here. I’m gonna go mad with fucking boredom if they don’t move us on soon. Completely out of my mind.’

      ‘Right on,’ young Danny said, looking yearningly at all the ships anchored out at sea. ‘I know what you mean.’

      Pretty soon, just to keep the men busy, the instructors were resorting to the well-known torments of Continuation-and-Cross Training, including four-man patrol tactics, signalling, first aid, demolition, hand-to-hand combat and general combat survival. While most of it was of obvious use, it had all been done before, and after a few days the men were sick of it. To make matters worse, the Navy had placed many restrictions on what could be done on the island. This further displeased the members of the Regiment.

      ‘I’ll tell you one thing,’ Corporal Paddy Clarke said two days later in the Volcano Club. ‘I’m fucking tired of playing amateur soldiers every morning on this bit of volcanic rock – just learning the terrain and repeating the lessons of Sickener One. Then listening to the green slime givin’ their boring lectures every bloody afternoon. Bullshit, bullshit and more bullshit. If we have to retrain, let’s do it properly – not all this basic REMF stuff.’

      REMFs was the SAS term for the boys at the back – the ‘rear-echelon motherfuckers’.

      ‘It’s the Navy’s fault,’ Baby Face said. He was yearning for Darlene and looking lovelorn. ‘As the Head Shed said at the briefing back in the Kremlin, the Navy’s limiting the numbers of troops who can be ashore at any time – and that limits our training. It’s always the Navy.’

      ‘Right on,’ Gumboot said. ‘It’s always the Navy’s fault. They’re just tryin’ to take advantage. Those bastards want to keep us trapped here while they get all the glory.’

      ‘No glory to be had,’ big Taff Burgess pointed out mildly. ‘At least, not so far. The politicians are still farting around while we sit here sweating.’

      ‘Besides,’ Ricketts added, ‘it’s not just the Navy. It’s this damned terrain. We can’t train you properly in this place because we’ve nothing to work with – no snow, no ice crevasses, no mud. Here we only have featureless terrain and sea, which is not much use to us.’

      They all knew what he meant. The main key to survival in an Arctic environment is to get out of the wind and defeat the cold. For this reason, all SAS troopers routinely receive training in the construction of shelters such as snow holes, snow caves and igloos, as well as instruction in ski techniques and navigation in Arctic conditions. Special training in those areas was clearly impossible on Ascension Island, where the ground was too hard to simulate snow holes and too flat to construct dry ski runs.

      ‘At least we’ve done some weapons training,’ Ricketts said. ‘Thanks for small mercies.’

      In fact the only special weapons training they had done was in how to keep their weapons in working order in the dismal weather of the Falklands. Because in extremely cold conditions lubricants thicken, causing jams and sluggish action, all unnecessary lubricants had to be removed, with only the surfaces of the bolt being lubricated, and the rest left dry. Similarly, ammunition had to be cleaned of all oil and condensation. This required a little learning, but not much, so the men were soon bored again.

      ‘Small mercies?’ Jock said. ‘What fucking small mercies? I’m going mad doing nothing on this hell-hole while the task force sails on to the Falklands. I don’t think it’s right.’

      ‘It’s the Navy,’ Gumboot said, returning to their favourite punchbag. ‘Those bastards sail on to the Falklands while we jerk off back here.’

      ‘I wouldn’t mind,’ Paddy said, ‘if there was something to do here.’ He lit a cigarette, puffing smoke. ‘But there’s nothing but this miserable bloody club and a lot of rocks and the sea. It’s like being in prison.’

      ‘Not quite, lads,’ big Andrew said philosophically as he twisted a piece of paper into a tight ball and dropped it into his half-pint glass of Drambuie. ‘Just take a look at this place. Here we are, in the South Atlantic Ocean, on what’s essentially a piece of volcanic rock, only discovered on Ascension Day in 1501. There’s poetry in this primitive place, man. Sheer visual poetry.’

      ‘He’s talkin’ shite again,’ Jock said, shaking his head in despair. ‘He’ll soon set it to music.’

      A few of the lads laughed, but Andrew remained unfazed. He swirled the Drambuie in his glass, letting it thoroughly soak the crumpled piece of paper floating on top. ‘Where’s your sense of military history?’ he challenged them, staring at each in turn. ‘Did you know that this place was uninhabited until the British established a garrison when Napoleon was sent to St Helena in 1815? That makes a line of history from Napoleon to us, sitting right here. I think that’s kind of magical.’

      ‘Where’s St Helena?’ Jock asked. ‘The other side of the island?’

      ‘Seven hundred and fifty miles south-east of here,’ Andrew explained with a studied display of patience. ‘A mere drop in the ocean. And to there – we’re practically sitting in his ghostly lap – the great Napoleon was exiled. Now I think that’s real magical, man – and magic is poetry.’

      ‘I’m gonna puke,’ Gumboot said.

      ‘Don’t blame you,’ Jock agreed.

      ‘I salute the great fellow-soldier,’ Andrew said gravely. Then he flicked his lighter, set fire to the ball of paper in the Drambuie, put the flaming concoction to his lips and swallowed it.

      It was the kind of sport the Regiment enjoyed and Andrew’s mates all applauded. When he had finished his drink, the ball of paper was still on fire. He put his lips over the glass and appeared to suck up the flame. When he put the glass down, the fire was out. The men clapped and cheered again.

      ‘Anyway,’ Ricketts said when the noise had subsided, ‘I think Parkinson should get on the blower and try to stir up some action.’

      ‘Talk of the devil,’ Paddy said, indicating the door with a nod of his head as Major Parkinson entered the bar and walked straight to their table.

      ‘Evening, chaps,’ he said. ‘Sitting СКАЧАТЬ