The Last Ever After. Soman Chainani

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      raves are meant for dead people, who have no reason to see, breathe, or use the toilet. Unfortunately for Agatha, she needed to do all three. Trapped underground in darkness, she and Tedros inhaled mouthfuls of soil while tangled in each other’s sweaty limbs. Agatha couldn’t make out her prince’s face, but heard him hyperventilating with panic.

      “You’re using up all our air!” Agatha hissed.

      “Graves have b-b-bodies—d-d-dead bodies—”

      Agatha blanched with understanding and gripped on to any of Tedros’ flesh she could find. “Sophie’s mother … she p-p-pulled us in?”

      “C-c-can’t see a thing. For all we know she’s right next to us!”

      “Magic,” Agatha wheezed. “Use magic!”

      Tedros gulped a breath and focused on his fear, until his finger flickered gold like a candle, lighting up a wide, shallow grave the size of a large bed. Shivering on top of each other, Tedros and Agatha slowly turned to their right.

      Dirt.

      No body. No bones.

      Just dirt.

      “Where is she?” Agatha choked, rolling off Tedros, who groaned and rubbed his chest. She snatched her prince’s wrist and swept his fingerglow over the right half of the grave, spotting only a pair of dung beetles fighting over a dirt ball in the corner. She shook her head, baffled, and swung Tedros’ hand to the left—

      Both of them froze.

      Two sparkling brown eyes glared at them through a black ninja mask.

      Agatha and Tedros opened their mouths to scream, but the figure gagged them with slender hands.

      “Shhhh! They’ll hear you!” the stranger whispered in a low, breathy voice.

      Tedros gaped at the ninja in the grave with them, wrapped in draping black robes. “Are you … are you Sophie’s mother …”

      The ninja let out a giggly squeak. “Oh how absurd. Now shhhh!”

      Agatha tensed. That squeak. Where had she heard it before? She tried to catch Tedros’ eye, hoping he’d heard it too, but her prince was smothering the stranger in a hug.

      “Oh thank God! We’ve been trapped for a month in the smallest, foulest house you can imagine, almost burned at the stake, almost skewered by an army, and then you pulled us in, whoever you are, which means you have to get us out! We need to get to the School for Good and Evil and rescue our best friend. Surely you know it. It’s halfway between the Murmuring Mountains and—”

      The ninja gagged him with a fist. “I know cats that listen better than you.”

      “You have no idea,” Agatha murmured, punchy from the lack of air.

      A sharp crackle ripped above their heads, like a sword splitting earth, and the grave tremored, caving clumps of dirt into their faces.

      “Check ’em all,” someone growled gruffly, followed by more sharp tremors. “Intercepted a message from the League of Thirteen. Said they’d be comin’ through a grave.”

      Agatha’s stomach plunged. The voice didn’t sound like an Elder’s.

      “Coulda been more specific. Thousands of ’em and I’m starvin’,” a thick, oafish voice added. “Besides, should be out fixin’ our stories like the others, not diggin’ around in graves. What’s so important about these two anyway?”

      “School Master wants ’em. Reason enough for you,” said the gruff one, punctuated by another violent crackle. “He’ll give us a turn at our stories soon enough.”

      Agatha and Tedros swiveled to each other. The School Master’s men in Gavaldon? How had they gotten past the guards? The ceiling shook harder, showering clumps of earth.

      “Think he’ll let us eat an Everboy as a reward?” asked the oafish one.

      “Might СКАЧАТЬ