The Rift Uprising. Amy Foster S.

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СКАЧАТЬ troops accompanying us and we prefer to keep our distance from them. We understand that the things we say get reported back to Command and then to ARC. We’re on the same team, but at the same time, we’re not. No one trusts anyone here, and either way, I’m happy for the silence.

      Today we are working up in one of the seven Nests above ground, in the tree line. The Nests surround The Rift and serve as both lookouts and vantage points for sharpshooting, if it comes to that. The four of us easily scale the rope ladder that leads up to a wood platform suspended in a huge sequoia tree. There are provisions here—water and emergency rations—but no bathrooms. The boys will often piss in empty bottles. The girls have gotten good at holding it until the shift is over in four hours.

      Nothing like a little institutional sexism to remind us we’re in the military.

      Omega Team is at the rock on lookout. We really just have to check in and make sure Command knows we’re here if needed. I ask the team to make sure their earpieces are functioning and then we disable the mics so we can talk without being overheard.

      “So, did Applebaum cut you a new one this morning?” Boone asks, wasting no time. Before I can even answer he goes off again. “He’s an ass. You didn’t do anything wrong, Ryn,” Boone assures me.

      “You really didn’t,” Vi adds.

      I lean back against a wooden slat in the platform. “I shouldn’t have gone in alone. Without a weapon. It wasn’t the smartest move,” I confess.

      “It wasn’t,” Henry says through clenched teeth.

      Violet places a hand on my arm. “Oh, please. He was young and cute. It’s bad enough that he ended up here. He didn’t need a bunch of us ambushing him.”

      I have to smile at her optimism.

      Henry pulls a few pine needles off a close branch and throws them down from the Nest. “He could have been dangerous. You gambled. It worked out okay, but it might not have.”

      “Stop being such a hard-ass all the time, Henry,” Boone says. “It’s boring. I think I might have a coronary if you ever cracked a joke.” Of course, Boone’s sarcasm does not play well with Henry. Henry is wound tight. Applebaum hadn’t gotten that wrong. At six four, he is the biggest of us. His mom is Korean and his dad is Native American. He’d probably be the total package if you didn’t have to go on such a search-and-rescue mission for his personality. The thing about Henry, other than the fact that he’s a superb soldier, is that he is loyal as anything. He’s taken a bullet for me more than once, multiple punches, and even a knife wound. Whether we are at work or hanging out, he is always just there. I love him. I love his quiet strength and the little things he does to show he cares about us—things that Boone is too clueless to pick up on.

      “Knock it off, Boone. It was fine with Applebaum, but to be honest I really don’t want to talk about it.”

      “Fine.” Vi tries to negotiate. “We’ll leave Applebaum out of it if you tell us why you went out there alone. I meant to ask yesterday, but you went home so fast.”

      “Whoa, what’s with all the questions?” I snap. “It seemed like the right thing to do. That’s it. No agenda. I just said I didn’t want to talk about it. God.” My teammates look at each other with raised eyebrows.

      “It’s okay to think someone is cute,” Violet says softly. “It’s okay to be attracted to someone, to have feelings for someone even if they come through The Rift.”

      At that, I have to laugh. I look at her, my eyes widening. “Are you crazy? It’s not okay to be attracted to anyone. Because obviously, thanks to ARC, we’re mature enough to save the world but not mature enough to keep our hormones in check.” Without thinking, I pick up my arms and start doing a weird version of jazz hands while talking in an absurdly low voice. “Hey, I’m ARC,” I blurt out sarcastically. “We’re going to make you superstrong and superfast and supersmart but not smart enough!” I’m off on a tangent now. I see Henry sigh. “You might check for a text from your boyfriend while you’re fighting for your life, so we’re just going to put this little glitch in your implant that turns you into a maniac if you touch anyone you might be remotely attracted to. Not so much as a little, teeny-tiny, even-Catholics-would-approve-of-it hug. Nope, sorry! No sex for you! Ever!”

      “You didn’t need to go straight to the Blood Lust, Ryn,” Violet says with an undeniable hint of sadness. “It’s a long way from liking the way someone looks, and maybe even crushing on them a bit, to activating that part of the chip’s programming. It’s not like we have no control.”

      I look up to the sky and shake my head. “Oh, well, I know that,” I spit back meanly. “Look at you and Boone. You guys have been in love with each other since we were fourteen and you two haven’t killed each other.” This is common knowledge, but we never speak it. The fact that we are all just the best of friends, like family—that is another lie. “It’s easy, right? As long as you guys don’t touch each other or even brush up against one another. Unless you’re fighting. We can always fight. They made damn sure of that.”

      “Shut up, Ryn,” Boone shoots back, clearly wounded.

      “And what about poor Henry?” I continue even as Henry shoots me a death stare. “He’s gay. I mean, seriously, he’s like every gay guy’s wet dream. He could get more ass than all of us put together and he can’t even jerk off without destroying his bedroom, maybe even his whole house. So yeah, I’m a little skittish. I’m a little fucking sensitive about being attracted to anyone, because I can’t even stick my hand down my pants and make this teeth-grinding ache go away.” The silence in the Nest becomes a living thing, awkward and full of ugliness. I put my head down on my knees. Shit.

      “I’m sorry,” I say finally. “That was mean. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. And so help me God, Boone, if you say ‘PMS’ I will punch you in the face.” Boone puts his hands up in surrender. “Can we please just drop it? I don’t know why I went out there or why this Ezra guy should be any different from anyone else. He probably isn’t. I’m just … I don’t know …” I rummage around in my head trying to come up with the words to explain how I feel. When I can’t, I just apologize again.

      Vi reaches over and gives me a hug. “It’s okay. We’re all just doing the best we can. Some days are better than others,” she says, and I nod my head, embarrassed. I hate hurting my friends. And for the most part, Violet was right. The Blood Lust is one of the crueler by-products of the chip, but it’s not like we want to kill every person we find attractive. It’s always there, though, simmering beneath the surface like a sleeping junkyard dog. As long as we are careful, as long as we don’t linger on romantic thoughts or touch someone that we might have—in another life—hooked up with, the dog remains asleep. I understand that the idea behind this wiring was to make us more efficient, but honestly it takes a lot of energy to suppress these urges. ARC must know this, but they continue on with it anyhow. Maybe it’s just too late; they can’t have some Citadels who can get it on and some who can’t without a mutiny. Or maybe it’s just another cruel way to control us. I don’t know, but if you combine the Blood Lust with our constant lying and living a double life, we can burn out in this job. When that happens, they send the Citadel away for a couple months to recuperate. Sounds great, but it’s not something we push for. Our teams depend on us. What if something bad happens while we’re gone? Something we might have stopped?

      I take hold of her hand. “Thanks, Vi.” I watch Boone look at us. We are comforting each other the way best friends do. He turns sharply away, uncomfortable, knowing it’s something he’ll never be able to safely СКАЧАТЬ