Volumes 5 and 6 - Blood Beast/Demon Apocalypse. Darren Shan

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СКАЧАТЬ limbs trembling. My world starts to explode.

      Then I catch his grin.

      “You son of a jackal!” I roar, swatting him around his balding head. “That wasn’t funny.”

      “Oh, it so was,” he laughs, wiping away tears.

      Most of the time I get a kick out of Dervish’s warped sense of humour. But there are other times when it really gets up my nose.

      “Keep it up,” I growl. “Maybe I’ll tell Misery Mauch about you. I doubt if he’d see the funny side of a sick joke like that. Wouldn’t surprise me if he took me out of your custody and put me some place where the people are halfway normal.”

      “If only,” Dervish sighs, then squints at me. “I don’t want to lay it on heavy, but I’ve something to say and I want you to pay attention.”

      “What now?” I ask with a sulky sneer. “Ma and Pa Spleen are my grandparents? Misery Mauch is your long-lost brother?”

      “This house has been wrecked once already,” Dervish says. “I don’t want it destroyed again. Keep your freakish little friends under as much control as you can. A certain amount of wear-and-tear is unavoidable, I accept that, but they’ll only run wild if you let them. Lay down the law and they won’t cause too much damage. And for heaven’s sake, don’t let any of them into my study. Remember that it’s guarded by spells, so if anyone wanders in there uninvited…”

      “What are you babbling about?” I snap. I hate when he starts on a spiel without making it clear what the subject is.

      Dervish frowns. “A bit slow today, aren’t you?”

      “What?” I roar impatiently.

      “I’m going away.” He raps my head with his knuckles. “You’ll have the house to yourself.” He raps it again. “It’s the weekend.”

      He goes to rap my head a third time. I catch his hand in mid-air, my face lighting up with a smile as I finally get it. At the exact same moment we exclaim, me excitedly, Dervish sarcastically—

      “Paaarteeeeeee!”

      →Strip poker,” Frank says earnestly. “It’s a must.”

      “Hey!” Loch barks. “My sister will be there.”

      “So we’ll wait till she sneaks off with Grubbs, then… ba-bumba!”

      Everybody laughs, even Loch.

      “Have you told the girls yet?” Charlie asks.

      “No. I wanted to discuss it with you lot first, get some ideas, like how many people to invite, should I have a theme, if –”

      “Theme?” Loch snorts. “This isn’t a fancy dress party, fool!”

      “I wouldn’t invite too many,” Leon says, a worried look on his face. “I made that mistake once. Had just about the whole school back to my place while my parents were away skiing. I did what I could to clean up the next day but it was impossible.”

      “Yeah,” Frank nods. “This is your first party. You don’t want to blow it by taking on more than you can handle.”

      “Especially since there’s so much opportunity for the future,” Loch agrees. “That mansion could be highly valuable over the next few years. Loads of rooms – loads of bedrooms – and an uncle who knows the score… It’s a goldmine. But we’ve got to tread carefully. If we trash the house now, Dervish might never leave you alone again.”

      The discussion continues. Everyone – Loch, Frank, Charlie, Leon and Robbie – chips in with their own ideas. Music, food, drink, the guest list… each is debated at great length. But the guest list is the one we keep coming back to, the topic that creates the most divisions.

      “Two girls to each guy,” Frank insists. “If not three.”

      “Nah,” Robbie grunts. “Equal numbers or else they’ll gang up on us.”

      “What do you care?” Leon challenges him. “You only have eyes for Mary.”

      Robbie winks. “A lot can happen at a party.”

      Out of the blue, Charlie shouts, “Jelly beans. You’ve got to have jelly beans. Plates of them everywhere.”

      “You’re a bloody jelly bean!” Loch roars as we fall apart in tears of laughter.

      “What are you hyenas splitting your sides about now?” Reni asks, appearing on the scene without warning, Shannon by her side.

      “We’re –” Charlie starts.

      Loch elbows him and nods sharply at me—my party, my news.

      “Dervish is away this weekend,” I tell Reni, wishing my heart wouldn’t throb so loudly—I’m sure she can hear it. “I’m having a party.”

      “Great,” Reni smiles. “I hope we’re invited?”

      “Of course,” I say miles too quickly. Then, aiming for cool, “But don’t tell anyone. I want to keep it exclusive—just a select handful of my more discerning acquaintances.”

      “Nice,” Reni says and strides away, sharing a giggle with Shannon.

      “‘More discerning acquaintances’,” Leon mimics as the others poke me in the ribs and make cat-calls. “You’re full of it sometimes, Grady.”

      →Word spreads quickly about the party. I’ve never been so popular, surrounded at the start and end of classes, pumped for details, besieged with requests for an invite. I think the location of the party is as much a draw as anything else. Everyone in the Vale knows about the spooky old mansion where I live but most have never been inside.

      At lunch I’m faced with a steady stream of party-hungry teens, all in search of a golden ticket. I feel like a king, hearing petitions, flanked by my royal advisors (Loch and co). I play it icy at Loch’s advice, saying numbers are limited, I can only invite a select few. I don’t say an absolute no to anyone and promise to take all requests into consideration.

      So I’m a poser. So sue me.

      →Just before the bell rings for class, my last petitioner approaches. Bill-E. He’s smiling awkwardly, even more so than usual. “Hi Grubbs.”

      “Hi.”

      “How’s tricks, Spleenio?” Loch says, putting out his hand. I groan as Bill-E falls for the trick again, makes to shake and is humiliated when Loch whips his hand away. “Sucker!”

      I don’t wait for Bill-E or Loch to say anything else. “Have you heard about the party?” I ask quickly.

      “Yeah,” Bill-E says. “I know I was supposed to come over this weekend, but –”

      “You’re not going to back out, are you?” I cut him short. “C’mon, Bill-E, this is my first party. I need you there СКАЧАТЬ