Название: Soul Possessed
Автор: Katlyn Duncan
Издательство: HarperCollins
Жанр: Детская проза
isbn: 9781472044556
isbn:
Since leaving Ally’s body I’d not been able to access any memories besides those already stored from after I died and the ones Jackson showed me. But the last one stuck with me like a brand.
Jackson moved to stand in front of me, his eyebrows almost touching with concern. “What are you thinking about?” He swiped a loose strand of hair behind my ear. His fingers were warm, leaving a trail of awareness across my cheek.
I ignored his question and pushed past him towards my room. It was at the end of a short hallway. I had it set up like my sanctuary in the Collections office, with a desk on the far wall and a couch facing the window. But instead of the meadow I’d used as my calming device, it overlooked the cliff.
Jackson’s presence was overwhelming and I became very aware of his every movement. He’d never been inside my room since we’d started working together. It was just for me, but we both sensed the nearing of the end of our mandatory time together and I wasn’t sure I was ready to let go just yet. That sounded selfish but he’d become my only friend and almost a mentor to me, even though I knew he wanted more.
Pressing my hands into the seat and I leaned over taking in the sight of the After that even after a century still mesmerized me.
“So, tomorrow,” I started, turning around. Ally would graduate from high school and I wanted to be there for her. I’d seen her in passing a few weeks ago and we’d managed a polite greeting even though Felix thought it would be best to keep our distance for a while, at least until she had enough time to grieve for her father. I suppose, being around the soul who killed him probably wouldn’t help that.
But words failed me as my gaze landed on the spot on my desk where I’d placed the wooden owl. The one Jackson had given me when we’d first met and later again when I was at Ally’s house. After Ally’s transformation I’d gone back to the Greene house to retrieve it, wondering if I could gain any other memories from it, but I could only see the one it had triggered.
Jackson’s soul was stiff as his eyes followed mine and one of his hands reached out to touch the wooden figure.
My insides twisted uncomfortably.
His head tilted toward the owl. “You kept this?”
I shrugged and before I could say anything, his hands were on my hips. The intimate touch startled me.
“Why did you keep it?”
My thoughts were fuzzy, as if they were trying to make their way out of a thick fog all I could think was that his hands felt so right where they were. “I don’t know.”
“Mags.”
I looked down at the owl on the desk and touched it gingerly hoping it would clear my head. “I thought I could see more if I had it.”
Jackson’s mouth opened slightly and I stared at his lips, remembering through the memory of that night how they’d seared my forehead after he placed a kiss on it.
Suddenly, I put out my hands, pushing him away. I couldn’t focus when he stood that close.
He didn’t take the hint, instead he moved blocking my escape. “I thought you told Felix you didn’t want them back?”
I attempted to shove him away but he didn’t budge. “I did! And I don’t. But I just wanted—”
What did I want?
“What? Please tell me.”
I closed my eyes. “I wanted to see her,” I whispered.
The silence was deafening. We said nothing for a few moments and he didn’t ask who I meant. I knew he wouldn’t. We’d gotten to know each other well enough for him to know who I meant. Well I got to know him. He seemed to know a lot about me. Or who I used to be.
I stared at the wall. “I wanted to see Gemma. Okay? Happy? I thought if I could see her again, it would somehow help.”
He touched my chin and forced me to look up at him. “Help what?” he asked.
I bit my bottom lip. His eyes widened at the movement, so I quickly freed my lip from my teeth and pressed them together instead.
Smoothing a hand over my cheek, he gently asked, “What would seeing her again help?”
“It would remind me how much I didn’t want my memories back,” I said tilting my head and his hand dropped to his side. “If I saw her happy, I’d know that I’d never want to see me kill her again.”
“I can show you that.”
“I know.”
He let out a frustrated growl, his fingers moving to hide the owl. “Why didn’t you just ask?”
Walking to the space behind my desk, I put distance between us. I needed to clear my head. “Because it’s a stupid idea. I shouldn’t be given anything remotely happy after what I did.”
“What you did wasn’t your fault, it was mine. I didn’t protect you.”
I flinched. “You didn’t pull the trigger.” I could still hear the shots in my head as if they had just gone off. And Tristan’s sobs. I shook away the memory of Gemma’s unmoving stare.
Jackson was silent for a moment, his eyes never leaving mine. “Let me show you.”
The idea was tempting. It was all I’d wanted since I found the owl, but there had to be limitations. “No memories of me and you. Just her.”
Jackson nodded and lifted his hand again. I stepped forward, swallowing any doubt as he reached out, one hand cupping my cheek, the other grasping my hand lightly, tracing circles with his thumb and before I could worry about how those circles made me melt inside, the memory slammed into me.
“Margaret!” Gemma shouted with glee. “Come out of there, I know you are trying to scare me!”
I watched the young red-haired girl put her hands on her hips, trying to be brave. She scanned their father’s study, narrowing her eyes. The fire roaring in the hearth was the only source of light in the room, casting dark shadows across the furniture.
Maggie hid behind her father’s chair, in silent wait for her prey.
“I’m going to tell Mother!”
Maggie’s little hands tightened on the chair but she didn’t make a sound. I walked over to her, watching her mouth twist up into a sly grin. She was the older of the girls, but she protected her sister fiercely, proclaiming she was the only one who could tease her. Gemma hated when Maggie played games, but it thrilled Maggie no end and I could feel excited anticipation roll off her in waves.