Название: My Sweetest Escape
Автор: Chelsea Cameron M.
Издательство: HarperCollins
Жанр: Детская проза
isbn: 9781472074515
isbn:
Instead of yelling at me she just tossed her hands in the air and then banged them on her thighs.
“Why are you being like this, Jos? What happened to my little sister who never, ever swore? I don’t feel like I know you anymore.”
“Maybe you didn’t know me before. Maybe that girl was a lie.” She had been a lie. That girl had a metal rod shoved so far up her butt she was choking on it. That girl was so afraid of stepping out of line or making any waves that she never did anything. Never broke curfew. Never got drunk. Never did anything that could be construed as wild, or out of control, or free.
She was so fucking uptight that she barely ever laughed. Or smiled. Or had any fun of any kind. That girl never would have just sat in a dark room and listened to music without it having a purpose. Being that girl was exhausting, but no one knew.
“I just don’t know what to say to you anymore, Jos. You’re my sister and I feel like you’re a complete stranger. What am I supposed to do?” For the first time, I heard the hopelessness in her voice. Renee didn’t get hopeless. She didn’t get weak. She was always tough as nails; she had to be with our crazy parents.
“You don’t have to do anything. Just...give me some space. I can’t breathe.” I sat down on my bed and she came and sat next to me.
“I never thought that I would be this worried about you. You’re the good one. You made the rest of us look like losers. It was hell when our report cards would come out and you’d always have A’s and the rest of us had to compete with that. It sucked, by the way.” She bumped my shoulder with hers.
“I’m sorry?”
“No, I just wish I had been the one who could have set the good example. You know, I’m supposed to be the oldest and all that. I tried, but you were always better.”
Was. Past tense.
She touched my hair. “Are you ever going to tell me what happened last year?”
I shook my head. “I just decided that life was worth living, and I hadn’t been.”
“All of a sudden? Carpe diem?”
Sure.
“Something like that.”
Chapter 8
I ran into Hannah in my bio 202 class the next day. It was cruel, but the university required that we have at least six credits in science, and I only had three. Once again, I figured bio would be the way to go since it would be a huge class and I could probably show up or not show up and no one would know.
“Hey, stalker,” Hannah said as I sat next to her. The classroom was one of the larger on campus, with what looked like stadium seating. Too bad we’d all be falling asleep and learning about ribosomes instead of watching an awesome movie, or a rock concert.
“Maybe you’re stalking me.” There were quite a few empty seats around her, and I hoped they stayed that way.
“Told you, I’m a people repeller,” Hannah said, leaning back in her seat. “Skittles?” She had another fresh bag and held it out to me.
“No, thanks. I can’t eat Skittles without M&M’s.”
“You serious?” She tossed a handful into her mouth and a few clattered to the floor.
“Yeah. It’s not crazy, if you think about it.” I’d explained this quite a few times. “Skittles are like fruit, right? And M&M’s are chocolate. So it’s like chocolate-covered fruit. You should try it. Could change your life.”
Hannah gave me a dubious look and munched her Skittles.
“I’ll take your word for it.”
The class filled up and the seats nearest us were the last to be filled by stragglers. Hannah and I spent most of the class writing notes back and forth because, honestly, it was boring as hell. I somehow managed to stay awake, but that was mostly due to Hannah. My second class of the day, something called the Nature and Language of Math, was equally boring and sleep-inducing.
I went right back to the house after class and found it pretty quiet. Since there were so many people living in the house and everyone had something going on, Darah had made a chart on a whiteboard so everyone could write where they were when. I erased the words at class and wrote home next to my name.
Taylor and Mase were the only ones home. I heard the washing machine going and some loud music coming from the man cave downstairs. Guess I couldn’t go to my room. Instead, I threw myself on the leather sofa and sighed.
“That sounded like a heavy sigh.” Taylor’s voice pierced the quiet. I sat up to find her leaning against the stairs.
“It wasn’t, really.” She came and sat on the recliner, leaving me the entire couch.
“So what do you think of UMaine? Is it everything you expected?”
I shrugged.
“It’s college. Pretty much like any other.”
“Still. Everything going okay?”
She was fishing and not doing a very good job of it.
“Renee tell you to talk to me?” I grabbed the remote and turned on the massive television, flipping around until I found something decent. And by decent I meant a marathon of Behind the Music on VH1.
“If I say no, you’ll know that I’m lying, so yes. She’s just worried about you.”
“Well, she’s got lots of company in that department.”
“I know things are kind of crazy for you right now, but I swear, they will get better. And lashing out feels good when you do it, but living with the consequences kind of sucks. I should know. I punched Hunter when I first met him. He’s got a hell of a hard face.” Renee hadn’t told me that story.
“You did?”
She smiled as if it was a fond memory and shook her head.
“Yeah. He kind of cornered me, and I have a bit of a claustrophobia issue. To be fair, he totally deserved it.” I could imagine him provoking her. It seemed to be one of his favorite things to do.
“I bet he did. How did you go from that to...being disgustingly in love?”
She laughed.
“He’s persistent. And has a high tolerance for me being mean and shoving him away.”
“Huh.” Sounded familiar.
She kicked out the footrest on the recliner and squinted at me, as if she was deciding something.
“I was nearly raped, when I was younger. It was my sister’s older boyfriend, Travis, and he tried to rape her, too. She got over it and I never did. Hunter was the first guy that I let touch me. There was something about him that made me feel safe in a way I’d never felt safe before. I trusted СКАЧАТЬ