Hell’s Heroes. Darren Shan

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      Copyright

      First published in hardback in Great Britain by HarperCollins Children’s Books 2009

      First published in paperback in Great Britain by HarperCollins Children’s Books 2010

      HarperCollins Children’s Books is a division of HarperCollins Publishers Ltd

      77-85 Fulham Palace Road, Hammersmith, London, W6 8JB

       www.harpercollins.co.uk

      HELL’S HEROES. Copyright © Darren Shan 2009. All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. By payment of the required fees, you have been granted the non-exclusive, non-transferable right to access and read the text of this e-book on-screen. No part of this text may be reproduced, transmitted, down-loaded, decompiled, reverse engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereinafter invented, without the express written permission of HarperCollins e-books.

      Darren Shan asserts the moral right to be identified as the author of the work.

      EBook Edition © FEBRUARY 2011 ISBN: 9780007435371

      Version: 2014-10-29

      Find all these hellish heroes and more at

       www.darrenshan.com

      For:

       Liam, Biddy and Bas — the Father, the Mother

       and the Holy Bust!!!

      OBEs (Order of the Bloody Entrails) to:

       Geir, Wiedar, Jon and all the other nocturnal

       Norwegian Shan crew

      Road Managers:

       Geraldine Stroud — the ripper skipper!

       Mary Byrne — the tipsy first mate!

      Editor-in-chief:

       Stella Paskins — 10 rounds, not out!!

      Apocalyptic agents:

       the Christopher Little chorus line

      And an extra special thank you to all of my demonically

       delightful Shansters, especially those of you who have kept

       me company on the web through the run of the series.

       But take heed — if you desert me at this point,

       heads will roll!!!

      “What happens when you lose everything?

      You just start again.

      You start all over again.”

      ‘Apply Some Pressure’ by Maxïmo Park

      Contents

      Copyright

      Epigraph

      The Last Laugh

      Clocking Off

      Mr Grumpy-Puss

      In Dreams I Walk With You

      Executive Board

      Home Sweet Home

      Rock On

      Shark Attack

      Who’s That Girl?

      Unstill Waters

      Knights in Slimy Armour

      Soulful

      An Unholy Quartet

      Lights Out

      Tunnelling Through

      Bigger, Better, Badder

      À La Moses

      The Missing Link

      The Wink

      With a Bang

      Ah Yes, I Remember It Well

      Devilment

      Once More, with Feeling

      Start Me Up

      Other Books by Darren Shan

      Credits

       About the Publisher

      THE LAST LAUGH

      → “I miss Cal,” Dervish says. “We fought a lot when we were young, like all brothers, but we were always there for one another.”

      We’re lying in the mouth of a cave, admiring the desolate desert view, sheltered from the fierce afternoon sun.

      “It’s strange,” Dervish chuckles. “I thought I’d be the first to go. The life I chose, the risks I took… I was sure I’d die young and nastily. I pictured Cal living to be eighty or ninety. Funny how things work out, isn’t it?”

      I stare at the hole in the left side of Dervish’s chest. Blood is seeping from it and I can see bone inside. “Yeah,” I grunt. “Hilarious.”

      Dervish shifts and grimaces. He’s in a lot of pain, but he won’t have to suffer much longer. My uncle was in bad shape before we took on an army of demons. Now, having come through hell, he doesn’t have a prayer. He’s finished. We both know it. That’s why we came up here from the underground cave, so he could die in the open, breathing fresh air.

      “I remember one time,” Dervish continues, “not long after Cal married your mum. We had a huge row. He wanted me to quit being a Disciple, marry and have kids, lead a normal life. He thought I was crazy to do what I did.”

      “He wasn’t wrong,” I snort.

      “You love it really,” Dervish grins. Blood trickles down his chin.

      “Save your breath,” I tell him, trying not to shudder.

      “What for? I won’t need it where I’m going.” He raises an eyebrow. “You don’t think I can survive, do you?”

      “Of course not. I’m just sick of listening to you whine.”