God of Darkness. Aimee Carter
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Название: God of Darkness
Автор: Aimee Carter
Издательство: HarperCollins
Жанр: Детская проза
isbn: 9781472000606
isbn:
“What? No, no, of course not,” she said quickly. “I only mean—what if you were incompatible? What if you fell in love with someone who simply wasn’t right for you? That’s all I mean.”
He watched her for a long moment, searching for a lie he knew was there. But because he loved her, because he wanted to see the best in her when no one else would, because the thought of her betrayal was too much to bear, he believed her. His shoulders sagged, and he slipped his hand from hers. “Regardless of the reasons, the past is the past, and there is nothing I can do to change it. I am sorry for your lot in life, Calliope. I hope someday you discover a way to leave it behind and find the life you deserve, but I cannot love you the way you want me to, and I cannot hurt you more than I already have. You will always have an ally and a friend in me. But that is all we will ever be.”
There it was—the pain he knew he would eventually cause her no matter his answer. It burned like fire in her eyes, and she stood with the pride and grace of a queen. She was remarkable, worthy of so much more than either him or his brother, and perhaps one day she would find it. But today would not be that day.
“Are you certain?” she said, her hands clasped in front of her. “I will not offer myself to you again, Hades, no matter how true my feelings will remain.”
He stood, inclining his head in a show of respect for who and what she was, even if the rest of the council no longer deigned to recognize it. “I will always be here for you as I was all those years ago. But as much as I treasure your company, I am afraid we can never be more than what we are now. I have hurt our family enough as it is, and I cannot allow myself to cause anyone any more strife. Especially someone I care about as deeply as you.”
“And what about my feelings?” she whispered. “Don’t they matter?”
He took her hand gently and brushed his lips against her knuckles. “They matter far more than my own, and that is why I must decline. I am a shell. I am a shadow. I am nothing, and you are everything.”
“You aren’t nothing, and you deserve love as much as I do. Don’t you want it?” She was pleading now, though she did an admirable job of masking it in the commanding tone of a queen. But she was not his queen, and he would not obey her, not when it would destroy them all.
A bitter, empty smile ghosted over his features, and he bowed his head once more. “Love is all I have ever wanted in this immortal life. I have used up my chances though, and I am at peace with that. I beg you to allow me to remain so.”
A moment passed, and at last she stepped back from him, her expression unreadable. Those tendrils of emotions were gone now, securely hidden behind the barriers she had so expertly built. How long had it taken her to retreat so completely into herself? How long had she remained so, until this moment, when she had finally trusted him enough to let him in?
No matter. It was done, and he would not change his mind. The sting of rejection now was nothing compared to the agony of loss she would have felt centuries or eons down the road if he had accepted her proposal, and he had to content himself with that. She would not be grateful now, or perhaps anytime in the near future; but someday, when she had found her happiness, he hoped she would remember this moment and see the future he had allowed her to have. The future he had wanted her to have.
“I hope you visit, though I understand if you do not,” he said quietly. She swallowed.
“I will do my best,” she allowed. “But now I must go.”
He nodded once. “I will escort you out.”
“I know the way.” She curtsied once, and he responded with a deep bow. “Take care of yourself, Hades. And find a name before Walter grows more upset than he already is.”
“I will do my best,” he murmured. “Do you have any suggestions?”
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