Bitter Sweet Love. Jennifer L. Armentrout

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      I tried to swallow, but there was something huge in my throat. I hadn’t heard from him in three years. Not a single phone call, email or letter. Nothing. I hadn’t even known if he was dead or alive. No one in our clan had known. He’d vanished, his sudden departure as horrifyingly abrupt as the death of my mother. There one second and gone the next.

      Home hadn’t even been home since he left.

      “Are you breathing?” my sister asked, her voice floating from somewhere behind me. “Jasmine?”

      Consumed with not hurling all over the place, I wasn’t sure if I was breathing or not. I stared at my reflection in the vanity. Light blue eyes stared back at me, set in a face way too pale against the darkness of my hair. Even my lips looked leeched of blood. My cheekbones appeared too sharp, too angular.

      The last hour had blurred. Somehow, the entire clan knew that Dez was back and they’d swooped in on me within a nanosecond of my entering the house. I’d been shoved into a shower, because apparently, I needed one. Danika had dried my hair, letting it fall loose in long waves down my back because I was beyond the ability to do it myself. Then Claudia, who either didn’t know I’d sneaked out or had chosen to ignore it in light of what was happening, had brought in a blue gown that I’d never seen before. It was tight around my chest and I knew if I bent too low, my breasts would be coming out and saying hello.

      It was tradition to look your best when a male claimed you. The whole ritual was barbaric, absolutely wrong on so many levels. Part of me understood the necessity of having to mate and produce some babies. Our kind was dying off and what the Wardens did was a necessity to maintain the balance of good and evil and blah, blah. The other part wondered why in the world I would sign up for something that would most likely result in my death at some point.

      We were given seven days after the male made his claim to say yes or no, to ensure that both parties understood that mating was a lifelong commitment. There was no such thing as divorcing or separating among our kind. We weren’t forced to say yes, and the male, even if he was embarrassed before the whole clan, had to accept our refusal. We could keep saying no until we wanted to say yes and there were female Wardens who did say no, like Claudia. She hadn’t yet found a male she wanted, but...

      But my father had announced his intentions of mating Dez and me three years ago. The night before Dez had disappeared.

      I dragged in a gulp of air, but the dress was cinched too tight, constricting my waist. “He came back,” I whispered, not sure why I felt the need to say that. Maybe because it didn’t feel real.

      Danika’s reflection appeared above my shoulder. We shared the same features, except she was a younger version of me. “He did.”

      I squeezed my eyes shut and counted to ten. “Have you seen him?”

      “No.”

      Why had I even asked that question? I didn’t care.

      Danika placed a hand on my shoulder. “Everyone is waiting downstairs. The whole clan.”

      The whole clan could go jump off Algonquin Peak.

      Opening my eyes, I didn’t see my reflection or my sister’s. Images of Dez and me flashed together in a walk down memory lane that I didn’t want to take, but once I saw him in my mind, I couldn’t stop them.

      Dez, short for a name I couldn’t even begin to pronounce, had been a member of a West Coast clan and should’ve never crossed paths with mine. But when he was ten years old, his entire clan had been wiped out in a brutal demon attack. He’d ended up in New York due to the ties that his mother had had with our clan. The first night he had been brought to our home, he had been angry and withdrawn, almost like a wild animal who’d been cornered. He’d been in his true skin, hissing and clawing at anyone who’d come close to him. When my father hadn’t been looking, I had offered him the pudding I had been served for dinner.

      Dez hadn’t wanted anything to do with me at first. Crouched in the back of the library, he’d swiped at me with his clawed hands, coming close to splitting the skin on my arm. Fear had shivered its way down my spine, but I’d felt too much sympathy and concern for him to tuck horn and run away. Instead, I’d cautiously sat a safe distance away and begun to talk about anything and everything I could think of. It had taken hours of me rambling about my dolls, my assignments and my favorite books before he took the pudding from me. Afterward he’d asked for more and I’d managed to get him into the kitchen. I’d stayed up the whole night with him, while he ate everything the cook put in front of him and I watched him, oddly drawn to the unfamiliar, quiet little boy.

      And from that night on, we were inseparable—at least for the next eight years.

      Everywhere he went, I followed, and vice versa. He had been with me the first time I flew high above the mountains, and I had been with him the first time he had finally broken down and mourned the loss of his clan—his entire family. When I had snagged my wing for the first time and cried like a fat, angry baby, it had been Dez who’d guided me back to safety and taken care of me. I watched him learn to drive when he turned sixteen, and when I turned fifteen he said we’d always be together, no matter what.

      Now I was eighteen, and he would be twenty-one, and he’d broken that promise in the most heartless way.

      “You can’t stay up here all night,” Danika reasoned calmly. “He’s waiting for you.”

      I turned quickly, causing her to jump back. “I don’t care.”

      “Yes, you do.”

      “No, I don’t.”

      “But you love him.”

      A soulful pang hit me in the chest. “Loved,” I whispered back.

      That much had been true. I had loved him since the moment he’d taken the pudding from me. When my father had announced on Dez’s eighteenth birthday that he supported a match between us, I’d never been happier than I was in that moment. I was young. And stupid. When Dez had disappeared the very next day, I experienced a heartache that I thought would swallow me whole and never spit me out. He’d been more than a crush. He had been my best friend, my confidant and my world.

      Danika tucked long strands of hair behind her ears as she leaned against my bed. “Will you tell him no then, when your seven days are up?”

      I stood, surprised my legs would hold me, and took a step forward. The dress swished around my legs in a way that made me yearn for my jeans. “I can’t forgive him.” My hands balled into fists. “And for him to just show up? Announce that he wants me after what he did? Screw him!”

      Danika arched a brow. “You haven’t talked to him yet. You don’t know why he left.”

      My eyes narrowed on her. “Like that matters? Whose side are you on anyway?”

      “Yours. Come on. Let’s get this over with then.” Pushing away from the bed, she herded me out of the room and into the long hall. “This is going to be so awkward. Glad it’s not me.”

      “Thanks,” I muttered. My heart was pounding like a big drum.

      “You look beautiful,” Danika said, giving me a not-so-gentle push toward the stairwell.

      Did I have time to run outside and shove my face СКАЧАТЬ