Goodly and Grave in a Deadly Case of Murder. Justine Windsor

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       CHAPTER TWO

       THE COACHMAN AND THE STINKING BISHOP

      As Lucy and Smell entered the kitchen, Smell grew silent. This was because Violet Worthington the scullery maid was there. Both Violet and Becky were completely unaware that Lord Grave, his friends and some of his servants were magicians and so any hint of magic had to be carefully hidden from them, especially something as remarkable as a talking cat.

      Lucy’s own (non-magical) pet cat Phoebe was curled up under the kitchen table. Smell was terribly taken with her and as soon as he glimpsed her, he scooted over and attempted to touch noses, as cats sometimes do when they meet each other. Sadly, Phoebe was as unimpressed as ever with Smell’s advances and very nearly took his one remaining eye out with her claws.

      “Lucy, you’re just in time for a pot of tea!” boomed Mrs Crawley, who was wearing her best flowery apron. Lucy had been rather confused by Mrs Crawley the first time she had met her as the bearded cook-cum-housekeeper was actually a man. But Lucy soon became used to the fact that Lord Grave insisted on the Grave Hall cook being addressed as Mrs regardless of gender or marital status – it was simply the done thing. Lucy was also used to Mrs Crawley’s preference for frocks (They keep the nether regions cool in a hot kitchen! she often said). Lucy herself was unconventional in her clothing choices. Most girls wore dresses and curled their long hair. Lucy preferred to wear a jacket and breeches and wore her hair in a shining black bob.

      “Take a seat, Lucy. You too, Violet, you deserve a break,” Mrs Crawley said.

      “Thanks, Mrs Crawley.” Violet put down the huge copper pot she was scouring. Caruthers, Violet’s small stuffed woollen frog, peeped out from her apron pocket. Wherever Violet went, Caruthers went too, which was something Becky Bone teased her mercilessly about. Thankfully, Becky was running some errands in Grave Village, which meant everyone could enjoy their cups of tea without having to look at her scowling face.

      There was a third person in the kitchen, sitting at the table, a young man Lucy had never seen before. He gave her a friendly wink.

      “Hello,” she said uncertainly.

      The man pushed his floppy black hair back from his forehead, and gazed at her very intently. Lucy felt herself blushing. The man smiled. “You’re Miss Goodly, I take it? It’s a pleasure to meet you.”

      “This is Mr Stephen Rivers,” Mrs Crawley said.

      “Oh, please, everyone just calls me Rivers!”

      “He’s Lady Sibyl’s coachman,” Mrs Crawley continued, bringing over the teapot while Violet set out the cups. Thankfully, the tea seemed to be the normal everyday variety. Mrs Crawley was prone to bouts of experimental cooking and had once served Lucy fried-egg-flavour tea.

      “Under-coachman, actually,” Rivers corrected. “But the head coachman has come down with a very nasty case of measles along with the rest of Lady Sibyl’s household except for me, so I’m the main man for the moment. I must say I’m rather enjoying being in charge. And I only started working for her Ladyship a couple of months ago!”

      As Lady Sibyl’s coach was not an ordinary sort of coach (Lucy had seen it in action once; it was pulled by flying horses), Lucy guessed Rivers must be a magician. But of course she couldn’t mention anything about this in front of Violet.

      “Rivers is going to be with us for a few days, Lucy. Poor Lady Sibyl is very worried about catching measles herself so Lord Grave has invited her to stay until the danger is past. Would you like another slice of cake, Rivers?”

      “No, thank you, Mrs Crawley. I must get on; the horses need grooming,” Rivers said, getting to his feet. “I’ll see you all later.”

      “He’s a lovely man, isn’t he?” Mrs Crawley said when Rivers had left. She stroked her beard thoughtfully. “I was thinking about making him a special welcome dinner. Edible dormouse with fried potatoes and sprouts stuffed with Stinking Bishop.”

      “Stuffed with a stinking bishop?” Lucy said in horror, imagining that Mrs Crawley had decided to widen her repertoire to include cannibalistic cookery.

      “It’s a type of cheese.” Mrs Crawley chuckled, smoothing her apron. “And I thought I’d follow it with cockroach and cherry stargazey pie for dessert. What do you think?”

      “It sounds delicious, but I won’t be here I’m afraid,” Lucy said, trying her best to sound disappointed. “I have to go out with Lord Grave and we might not be back until late.”

      “Oh, not to worry. I’ll save you some!” Mrs Crawley beamed.

      “I’ll look forward to it,” Lucy said, hoping that she and Lord Grave would be back far too late to eat dinner. And, as it turned out, they very nearly didn’t make it back at all.

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