The Keysha Diaries, Volume One: Keysha's Drama. Earl Sewell

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СКАЧАТЬ of my school registration forms, found an ink pen, then sat back down on the sofa and filled out the forms. In many ways, going to school was the only thing that kept me sane. Now how sad is that for a teenage girl? I mean honestly, I didn’t know of any girl my age who actually liked going to school.

      * * *

      About two hours later, Toya returned. When she knocked on the door, I was all set to snap out on her for taking so long. I’d gotten irritated trying to keep Junior entertained because he only slept for about forty-five minutes. Keeping his little bad butt entertained was no picnic. When I opened the door, I held my words because patches of her pretty long hair had been ripped out. The T-shirt she was wearing had been ripped and the side of her face and neck had clearly been scratched up.

      “What happened to you?” I asked.

      “It’s a long story. Where is Junior at?” I turned around to call her son to the door but he was already making his way to her side. He gave her leg a bear hug.

      “You got into a fight, didn’t you?”

      “I had to let her know not to sneak around with my guy,” Toya said. As I scrutinized her more closely, it appeared that the other girl had got the best of Toya, but I didn’t say anything.

      “Well, tell me how it went down,” I said, wanting to know every detail. I was about to step aside so that she could come in but she wouldn’t.

      “I don’t want to talk about it right now, but I will tell you this. I found out that he has a baby with her, as well.”

      “Girl, stop lying.” I didn’t want to believe what I was hearing.

      “I’m not—” Toya’s voice cracked from all of the emotional energy she was trying to contain.

      “I’ll talk to you later,” she said as she picked up Junior and walked across the hall to her apartment.

      * * *

      It was getting late, and my mother hadn’t arrived home yet. When she left earlier that day, she only told me that she was going to take care of some business and would be back. I was hungry, so I pulled out the black skillet from the cupboard along with the rest of the bologna and cheese and fried myself up a sandwich. I loved fried bologna and cheese. I pulled down my mother’s Murphy bed and turned on the television before I sat down. I flipped through the channels and finally stopped to watch a rerun of The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air.

      “Why can’t I live like Hillary Banks?” I said aloud. “Have a rich daddy, a goody-two-shoes brother and a crazy cousin who’s always doing something that he doesn’t have any business doing.” The lifestyle that the characters were living seemed so phony and unrealistic to me, but I still enjoyed watching it. During a commercial break, I heard the key enter the lock in the door. A moment later my mom walked into the room. She opened the refrigerator and noticed that the bologna was gone.

      “I know you didn’t eat all of the damn bologna,” she started snapping out on me. Her voice was loud and confrontational, which made me edgy and confrontational, as well.

      “I was hungry. What was I supposed to do? Slit my wrists and suck my own blood for food?”

      “If it fills you up, that’s what you need to do,” she shot back sneeringly.

      “Whatever,” I said, sucking air through my teeth and rolling my eyes at her.

      “You better stop rolling your eyes at me before I knock them out of your head.” I ignored her violent comment for the moment. She then moved in front of the dresser where the television was and began removing some of her clothes from the top drawer.

      “Where are you going?” I asked.

      “Out to a club,” she answered.

      “You know I register for school tomorrow and I still need supplies,” I reminded her.

      “And?” she replied as if my needs were not her priority.

      “I need those school supplies,” I answered her back loudly. I hated it when she acted as if I was unimportant.

      “Borrow some supplies from a classmate. I don’t have any extra money.” She slammed the top dresser drawer closed and then opened up another one.

      “But you have money to go to a club,” I said, hoping to make her feel guilty about her judgment. She turned and pointed her finger at me.

      “Hey, what I do with the money I bring up in this house is my business. I don’t have to answer to you for anything! If you want school supplies go get them yourself. I don’t have time to deal with you. You’re just dead weight on my shoulders, and you’re slowing me down. As grown as you are you should be out on your own.” Her attitude toward me really hurt, but I wasn’t going to let her know. I wasn’t about to allow her to get under my skin.

      “So you don’t care whether I drop out of school or stay in?” I barked at her. I really hated her as a person. At times Justine could be cold, like a pail of ice, and other times she acted as if we were the best of friends. That day, her mood was icy.

      “You’re only going to drop out and get on public assistance anyway. You didn’t get pregnant this time but the next time you will,” she said, referring to the time I thought I was pregnant by Ronnie. Thankfully it was a false alarm. “Pregnancy may not be the worst thing for you. At least you’ll be able to bring a government check home.” Deep inside I was yelling at her and wishing that horrible things would happen to her. Deep inside I wanted the power to strike her down with a bolt of lightning so her feelings would hurt as much as mine. The fact that I didn’t have that type of power bothered me. Someday, I’d make her regret the way she treated me. My only wish was for that day to be today.

      three

      When I woke up the next morning, my mother hadn’t come home from her night at the club. I swear, sometimes I fear that the police are going to knock on the door and tell me she has been killed or something, I thought to myself. I knew a long time ago that to a certain degree I’d have to take care of myself early on in life, but at times I really just wanted to be a kid with a normal life. I tossed aside my blanket, placed my feet on the cold floor and then stood up and took a long stretch to begin my day. I went inside the bathroom, took a shower, got dressed and gathered up my school paperwork before heading out the door. When I exited the building, I ran into Toya, who was sitting on the stoop shuffling a deck of cards.

      “Where are you headed to?” she asked, glancing at me. Her face still looked pretty bad. Overnight a bruise had formed on her cheek.

      “I’m going to register for school. Aren’t you coming?” I knew that she wasn’t but I thought I’d ask anyway.

      “No, I don’t have anyone to watch Junior. My grandmother is tripping. She told me to take him with me to registration.”

      “Why not? I mean, today is only the first day of registration,” I reminded her.

      “Girl, I have bigger things to deal with than registration and school. I’m trying to figure out when my man had time to have a baby with another girl. Plus my face and hair are jacked-up right now.” Toya was quiet for a moment and I didn’t say anything. “I mean, she’s not even good-looking, Keysha. Her hair isn’t as long as mine, her skin СКАЧАТЬ