The World of David Walliams: 7 Book Collection. David Walliams
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Название: The World of David Walliams: 7 Book Collection
Автор: David Walliams
Издательство: HarperCollins
Жанр: Книги для детей: прочее
isbn: 9780008235765
isbn:
“Right,” said Mother.
“And if you promise to change the government policy on those issues you can rely on my vote, Mrs Crumb!”
Mother had had a mixed response to her campaigning so far, and was eager to secure this potentially crucial vote.
“Yes, I will certainly try, Raj!” she said.
“Thank you so much,” said Raj. “Please help yourself to something from the shop.”
“No, I couldn’t possibly, Raj!”
“Please, Mrs Crumb. Have a nice box of Terry’s All Gold, I have only taken out the caramel squares. Mmm, they are delicious. And perhaps Chloe would like this Finger of Fudge? It’s a bit squashed as my wife sat on it, but it’s perfectly fine to eat.”
“We couldn’t possibly accept these kind gifts, Raj,” said Mother.
“Well, why not buy them then? One box of Terry’s All Gold, £4.29, and a Finger of Fudge, 20p. That’s £4.49. Let’s call it £4.50. Easier if I just take £5. Thank you so much.”
Chloe and Mother exited the shop holding their confectionery. Mother held her partially eaten box of chocolates with barely disguised disdain.
“Now, don’t forget, Raj. The election is next Friday!” said Mother as she opened the door.
“Oh, I can’t do next Friday, Mrs Crumb. I have to stay here as I am expecting a large shipment of Smarties! But good luck to you!”
“Ah…Thank you,” replied Mother, looking crestfallen.
“Mrs Crumb,” said Raj. “May I interest you in something incredibly special that will certainly become something of a family heirloom to be passed down through the generations? Something your grandchildren will one day take proudly to have valued on The Antiques Road Show?”
“Yes?” said Mother expectantly.
“It’s a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles stationery set…”
“What are you hiding in the shed?” said Annabelle with accusatory glee.
It was midnight and Chloe was once again tiptoeing past her sister’s room, this time to tell Mr Stink about Lily’s newest adventure with her flesh-eating zombie teachers. Annabelle stood in her doorway in her pink pony pyjamas. Her hair was in bunches. And in case of fire she slept in lip-gloss. She looked sickeningly cute.
“Nothing,” said Chloe, gulping.
“I know when you’re lying, Chloe.”
“How?”
“You gulp when you tell a lie.”
“No I don’t!” said Chloe, trying very hard not to gulp. She gulped.
“You just did! What’s in there anyway? Have you got a boyfriend hiding in there or something?”
“No, I haven’t got a boyfriend, Annabelle.”
“No, of course not. You would need to lose some weight first.”
“Just go back to bed,” said Chloe.
“I am not going to bed until you tell me what you’ve got in the shed,” announced Annabelle.
“Keep your voice down. You are going to wake everyone up!”
“No I won’t keep my voice down! In fact it is going to get louder and louder. La la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la!”
“Shush!” hissed Chloe.
“La la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la…!”
Chloe pulled her little sister’s hair sharply. There was a pause for a moment, as Annabelle stared at Chloe in shock. Then she opened her mouth.
“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHH!” wailed Annabelle.
“Girls! What on earth is all this noise?” said Mother as she sailed out of her bedroom in her silk nightgown.
Annabelle tried to speak, but hyperventilated through her tears.
“Ugh…eh…ah…eh…ah…ughhhh…ah…eh…ugh…”
“What on earth have you done to her, Chloe?” demanded Mother.
“She’s putting it on! I didn’t pull her stupid hair that hard!” Chloe protested.
“You pulled her hair? Annabelle is down to the last thousand for a model casting tomorrow for George at Asda and she has to look perfect!”
“Ugh…ah…eh…ah. She’s ah eh got ugh ugh ugh hiding ugh ugh something eh ah ugh in the ugh ugh ughu shed,” said Annabelle as she squeezed out some more tears.
“Father,” ordered Mother. “Come out here this instant!”
“I’m asleep!” came the muffled cry from their bedroom.
“THIS INSTANT!”
Chloe looked down at the carpet so Mother couldn’t read her face. There was a pause. The three ladies of the house listened as Dad got out of bed. Next they heard the sound of someone passing water into a toilet bowl. Mother’s face turned red with fury.
“I SAID THIS INSTANT!”
The sound abruptly stopped and Dad scurried out of the bedroom in his Arsenal FC pyjamas.
“Annabelle said Chloe is hiding something in the shed. Chocolate, most likely. I need you to go down there and take a look.”
“Me?” protested Dad.
“Yes you!”
“Can’t it wait until the morning?”
“No it can’t.”
“There’s nothing down there,” pleaded Chloe.
“SILENCE!” СКАЧАТЬ