The Great Cat Massacre - A History of Britain in 100 Mistakes. Gareth Rubin

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      THE WRONG DISGUISE – DR CRIPPEN HANGS HIMSELF, 1910

      Hawley Harvey Crippen was an American homeopathic ‘doctor’ who practised in London with his wife, a music-hall singer named Cora, who apparently ‘had gentlemen friends’.

      After a party on 31 January 1910, Cora disappeared. Her husband said she had returned home to the US, but later amended his story to say that she had died and been cremated. There was, of course, nothing in the least bit suspicious about his initially forgetting that his wife had died and been cremated but Cora’s music-hall chum Kate Williams, a strongwoman better known as ‘Vulcana’, informed the police that Cora was missing. Suspicions were further raised when Crippen’s mistress, Ethel Neave, moved into the family home and began wearing Cora’s clothes and jewellery. The Peelers thought it was a right rum ’un and no mistake so they searched the Crippens’ home and interviewed Crippen on 8 July.

      They found nothing untoward but Dr C panicked. When he and Ethel fled, the police searched the house again. Again they found nothing. They searched it once more but still found nothing. Finally, on the fourth search of the property, they found some loose bricks in the basement. Examining further, they discovered the abdomen of an adult buried under the floor, with the head and limbs missing. Suspecting foul play, the police started about the search for Crippen. As they did so, chemical tests also showed traces of the surgical drug scopolamine in the cellar.

      By this time, Crippen had run away to Brussels, and had then boarded a steamship bound for Canada, with Ethel dressed as a boy and pretending to be his son.

      It was bad luck for the doctor that the boat on which he was fleeing was captained by a man who was (a) struck by the fact that Crippen kept groping his son, who had large breasts and (b) a pioneer of ship-to-shore telegraphy who happened to be aboard a vessel that was one of only 60 in the world able to send a message back to Britain saying Crippen was aboard. Captain Henry George Kendall wired the authorities the message: ‘Have strong suspicions that Crippen London cellar murderer and accomplice are among saloon passengers. Moustache taken off growing beard. Accomplice dressed as boy. Manner and build undoubtedly a girl.’

      Chief Inspector Dew of Scotland Yard jumped aboard a faster boat to beat Crippen to Canada, and arrested him as he docked. His first words were: ‘Good morning, Dr Crippen. Do you know me? I’m Chief Inspector Dew from Scotland Yard.’ Crippen’s reply surprised him: ‘Thank God it’s over. The suspense has been too great – I couldn’t stand it any longer.’

      If Crippen had travelled in third class, the captain would probably never have seen him. Had Ethel dressed as a woman instead of a transvestite, the captain would probably not have been curious. If Crippen had sailed for his native land of America, Britain might never have been able to extradite him, but from the British dominion of Canada he was taken back to London, tried, convicted and hanged.

      But hang on, there’s a twist. In 2007 a team at Michigan State University DNA tested the abdomen from the cellar and decided that it wasn’t Cora. It was, possibly, the body of a woman on whom Crippen had carried out an illegal abortion, which had gone wrong. Or, possibly, it had been buried there before the Crippens moved in. But all along, it had been the wrong body that had set the police on Crippen’s trail and started the saga of the most celebrated murder case of the early twentieth century.

      AN EXPENSIVE KEY – SINKING THE TITANIC, 1912

      In 2007, a key was put up for auction. Unexceptional in most regards, it was an ordinary locker key but it fetched £90,000. It was, after all, the key that sank the Titanic.

      The key was sold by the descendants of David Blair, the liner’s second officer, who was supposed to be on the ship but was removed from the roster at the last minute. When that happened, it slipped his mind to give the key to his locker to his replacement. Understandable – it wouldn’t have seemed that important at the time. But the locker contained the binoculars for the look-out in the crow’s nest – had Blair handed over the key, the look-out might well have spotted something a bit iceberg-like on the horizon. In fact, during the American inquiry into the disaster that was responsible for the loss of 1,522 lives, the look-out, Fred Fleet, said if the crew had had binoculars they would have been able to warn the captain of the impending icy fate much earlier.

      ‘How much earlier?’ he was asked.

      ‘Well, enough to get out of the way,’ he replied.

      Of course, there were a host of other blunders that sank the unsinkable ship. Perhaps the first was publicly describing it as unsinkable, because that sounded almost like a challenge to its crew.

      Added to that, the boat was the largest in the world – more than twice the size of the largest battleships of the time, it was able to carry 3,000 passengers and almost as many crew. It also had seven miles of deck and the luxury of its state rooms rivalled the palaces of Europe. And because it was ‘unsinkable’, there was really no need for lifeboats – just the 16 necessary to comply with the law. These 16 could carry 1,178 people. Of course, that would mean, of the 2,207 people on the maiden voyage, more than 1,000 would drown even if every lifeboat was launched full, but of course the ship could not sink, so everything was fine. And the company didn’t like having lifeboats around – casually reminding the passengers that they could be drowned at any moment tended to make them nervous.

      So off sailed the Titanic on her maiden voyage, leaving Southampton on 14 April 1912 loaded with nobs – including Charles Ismay, chairman of the White Star line and owner of the ship. Soon it got a bit icy out there on the Atlantic. So icy, in fact, that the nearest ship to the Titanic, the Californian, actually shut down her engines and drifted through the pack ice in order to prevent major damage. But the Titanic needn’t do that: it was unsinkable.

      Knowing it was unsinkable, Captain Edward Smith, who had been brought out of retirement for this special journey, ordered the ship to continue at 22 knots. He didn’t want to be late docking in New York on her maiden voyage – that would be embarrassing.

      At 11pm on 14 April, the captain of the Californian saw the lights of the Titanic speeding through the darkness. He was concerned – he knew that the pack ice was dangerous and told his radio operator to send a signal to the other ship warning of the ice. But the wireless operator on the Titanic was too busy sending holiday telegrams on behalf of the passengers and sent a reply that read: ‘Keep out. You are jamming me.’

      So on sped the Titanic through the dark waters. Visibility was good that night (it would have been better with binoculars, of course) and the Titanic received another warning, this time from the Mesaba. ‘We have seen much heavy pack ice and a great number of bergs also field ice,’ it stated. Once again, the Titanic’s operator ignored it and went back to the telegrams, failing to pass the message on to the captain.

      The next person to see an iceberg was the Titanic’s first officer. By then, of course, it was too late. The liner hit the berg, tearing a hole 100m in length. In fact, the passengers were entranced – how exciting! – because the ship was ‘unsinkable’ so there was no reason for concern. One of those passengers, however, was Thomas Andrews, managing director of the firm that had built the ship. So, when the captain told him that the gushing water had filled three of the watertight compartments, he knew the Titanic could be best described as ‘sinking’.

      The wireless operator decided that it was now time to set aside the telegrams about tennis games on Saturday and send out a distress signal, which brought all СКАЧАТЬ