The Retreat. Dijorn Moss

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СКАЧАТЬ ain’t saying nothing either, and when that happens that’s not good. I’m having visions that in the end I’m alone in this hospital bed with the cancer and my demons,” Henry said, trying to hold back tears.

      Nicole got up and rubbed her frail brother’s bald head, bending to give him some water in a beige cup with a straw. Chauncey could see Henry’s throat take in the water.

      “They aren’t the ones who have the final say. God is the author and finisher of your faith,” Nicole said with a forced smile that highlighted her full ruby lips.

      “Nicole, don’t give him no half-truths. God is the author and the finisher of his faith. But you have to have faith first.” Chauncey’s eyebrows arched.

      Nicole used her dark brown eyes to cut into Chauncey’s chest. His little sister had a mean side, but this was about souls. For the sake of the Gospel, he could not be moved on what was the truth.

      “Chauncey, could I talk to you outside for a moment?” Nicole stood up and headed toward the door.

      Chauncey extended his hand like an usher and followed her outside.

      “Would it kill you to come down from your mountaintop and show your brother a little compassion?” Nicole asked.

      “What do you want me to do, lie to him? You and I both know that if he ain’t saved, then none of the Bible’s promises apply to him.”

      “You’re not God, so you can’t judge him. God sees his heart and Henry knows better,” Nicole said.

      “You Baptists are nuttier than fruitcakes. I don’t know what they teach at your church, but at my church we teach that unless you are born again, you will not see the kingdom of heaven.”

      Nicole put both of her hands up in a choking motion and grunted in disgust. “You act so high and mighty!”

      “High? He stole from both of us to get high! You act like he didn’t steal from you or mess up your credit. I can’t get a Macy’s credit card because my brother got high. All I ever wanted from him was for him to get his life straight with the Lord. Even now, in the midst of his sin and illness, he lies up there unrepentant and wanting someone to pity him,” Chauncey said with frustration.

      “Those things we can get back. We have one brother and right now he’s scared, and we’re the only family he’s got.” Nicole pointed toward Henry’s room.

      “I’ve sat in AA meetings and therapy sessions just to hear my brother use me as a scapegoat for why he couldn’t get clean. I’m tired of it and I don’t have time.” Chauncey looked at his watch.

      “Where you got to go now?” Nicole asked.

      “The Men’s Retreat is Thursday; I got a couple of things before then to take care of.”

      Nicole let out a sarcastic laugh, and with her hands on her hips, she started to tap her black leather flats on the hospital’s mint checkered floor.

      “Are you serious? It’s Monday, bighead! You have all week. What’s more important? Being a good deacon or being there for your brother when he needs you the most?” Nicole asked.

      Chauncey did not even bother to dignify Nicole’s question with an answer. He brushed by her and went back into the room. Henry’s eyes were full with tears, and Chauncey was certain that he had caught most of the conversation.

      Chauncey placed his hands over his brother’s head. His brother closed his eyes as a sign of pleasure. “Father, we ask that you touch my brother’s body. In the name of Jesus that you heal him. I ask in the matchless name of Jesus, Amen.” Chauncey turned and headed toward the door.

      “Don’t leave,” Henry pleaded.

      “I’ve got to go. I’ve got some important matters to attend to, but you don’t need me; you need the Lord.”

      “Please,” Henry said with his eyes full of tears.

      Chauncey should have been moved by this pathetic display, but he wasn’t. All he could think of was how Henry was the most stubborn person on the planet. Instead of making it right with the Lord, he preferred to call on his brother to save him. But even Chauncey could not save his brother. Chauncey walked past Nicole, who was still at the door, and did not bother to say a word.

      “Bye, bighead,” Nicole shouted.

      The nickname Nicole used to call Chauncey when they were kids still conveyed a sense of love and affection.

      Chauncey did not break his stride as he continued to walk, and held up his hand as a sign that he had heard his younger sibling. He was always treated as the enemy. All Chauncey ever tried to do for his brother and sister was equip them with a spiritual foundation. As far as he was concerned, both his sister and his brother might end up in hell.

      Chapter Four

      In school, Chantel had been fascinated with Japanese culture. She welcomed the rumors that she was half black, half Asian. Her tight lids gave weight to the rumors. So the fact that the living room of her two-bedroom apartment was decked out in Japanese decor was not a shock to Jamal.

      The answer to a two-year mystery lay in a manila envelope that sat on a Japanese-inspired table. Every day doubt grew while certainty regressed. Truth was abstract, and while Jamal could coach himself into believing that the results did not matter, deep down inside he knew that the result made a world of difference.

      Chantel placed her petite hand on top of Jamal’s stony hand. When she smiled, her cheeks looked like she had swallowed golf balls. Jamal considered it an honor to even be in her presence. Timing and guilt had so much to do with why they were not together; it had everything to do with where they were now.

      She broke the seal of the envelope and removed the contents from inside. She held her breath as her almond eyes scanned the document. Chantel took in a deep breath and did not exhale as she handed the document over to Jamal. It was confirmed. The mystery had been solved, and like many mysteries, the truth left Jamal and Chantel more confused than they were before. He was not sure if ignorance was bliss, but what he was sure of was that his world would never be the same.

      “Daddy.” Jamir ran from his room and sat on Jamal’s lap.

      Jamal and Jamir both had bronze skin. They both had jet-black hair. Jamir was everything that Jamal desired in a son, and for Jamir he would give the world. But no matter what Jamal would sacrifice for two-year-old Jamir, he would never be his son.

      “High five!” Jamal stuck his hand out.

      Jamir smacked his hand with glee.

      “Here you go.” Jamal gave Jamir some building blocks from a playpen near the TV.

      He sat Jamir down on the carpet. Jamal sat down behind Jamir and pointed to the block he wanted him to pick up. Jamir reached for a building block and played with it. Jamal placed a kiss on top of Jamir’s head. While Jamir’s attention was on the building blocks, Jamal turned his sights toward Chantel, and followed her into the kitchen. She’d retreated to the kitchen to weep. With her back turned, Jamal approached her and wrapped his arms round her waist. Chantel turned around and embraced him. Her damp face pressed against Jamal’s beard.

      “How СКАЧАТЬ