Highland Lover. Hannah Howell

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СКАЧАТЬ me. Weel, I cannae lie to myself anymore. It frightens me. As for your plan to escape? Standing on your shoulders to try to open a way out of here is a good idea and I shall do my best, but thinking of how high up I will be also frightens me. I am weary of the cold and the damp, can feel it in my verra bones. Each time one of those fools asks if I will now say who I am, I have to fight verra hard to say nay. A part of me wants to cry out my name, where I am from, give them a clearly drawn map to get to my people, and demand that they be quick in the doing of it. And that part gets bigger every day. ’Tis a coward I am.”

      Gregor had to bite back a laugh as he sat down next to her and put his arm around her slim shoulders. She sounded extremely irritated with herself. He could understand that well enough, for he had battled with a few of his own fears in those days he had been alone. Being alone in the dark with no way out and nothing to do made one think about oneself and see oneself far too clearly. Gregor suspected few people would find that comfortable.

      “I suspicion many people are made uneasy by the dark and by being up high,” he said. “Each is a fear I think we are all born with and we ne’er fully shake free of. There is naught wrong with being afeared of something, only in letting it control you. As for the cold and the damp? There is naught wrong with ye for feeling that. So do I, and I grow most weary of it.”

      “Ye have been here longer than I have.”

      “And I have a lot more flesh for it to sink its teeth into. Takes a lot longer for it to burrow down into my bones, but ’tis there. Nay, lass, ye are no puling weakling for that either. Ye havenae wept, or needed a wee sharp slap to restore your wits, or complained incessantly.”

      Alana said nothing, just subtly pressed a little closer to him. For warmth, she told herself. She was not sure she believed all his kind reassurances, but they were comforting all the same. The urge to have a screaming, hair-pulling fit lurked inside of her, but his presence helped cage it. Alana did not think it would be wise to tell him so, however. If nothing else, it would not be fair or kind to put the weight of such a responsibility upon his broad shoulders. There was a good chance he was using her presence in a similar way, so there was no need to belabor the matter.

      For a fleeting moment, she wished she had never left home, and then she accepted the fact that she simply could not have continued to wait for some word from her sister. Hearing that Keira was a widow, that her home had been taken by a man whose evil reputation was widespread, and then hearing nothing from her for months had been hard to bear. Her fear for her sister had grown stronger with each day that passed without word or sight of Keira, only more rumors and all of them bad. The only thing that had kept Alana from blindly rushing off to find her twin immediately was the feeling that Keira was still alive. That and her dreams.

      She frowned as she realized she had had no dreams of her twin since setting out after her brothers. That should trouble her more than it did, yet she simply could not believe that Keira was dead. Alana still felt drawn toward her sister and suspected she would begin to sense in exactly what direction to go once she was free again. Yet it was odd that, in all other ways, she had lost that bond she and Keira had shared all of their lives. It made her feel intensely alone, and she pressed even closer to Gregor.

      “Troubled, lass?” he asked.

      “Nay, not truly,” she lied, still uncertain if she should tell him exactly why she had been alone and such easy prey for the Gowans. “I think the chance to escape is so tantalizing, I fear to let myself believe in it too much.”

      Gregor idly rubbed his hand up and down her slender arm. “I think I ken what ye mean. Now that we have a plan, we must face the daunting possibility of failure.”

      She nodded, feeling the soft wool of his plaid rub her cheek. Alana knew just how bitter failure tasted. Her arrogant plan to lead her brothers to their sister had been a failure of monumental proportions. It was something that still stung her pride and puzzled her as well. She really should not have failed so badly. All her skills and gifts had deserted her, and that made no sense. It was as if whatever power had granted them had abruptly taken them away, but she did not understand why.

      Alana inwardly shrugged. She could still sense that her twin was alive, could not believe that the other half of her was gone forever. There had to be some purpose to it all, some reason God and fate were conspiring to keep her from joining her sister at this time. Perhaps Keira needed to pass some test, to learn some great truth about herself, and having her twin at her side could make that difficult. Or, she mused, perhaps she needed to pass a test. Alana did not like that idea at all and hastily asked for Keira’s forgiveness for hoping it was her sister who was being tested. Keira was pretty, kind, and clever, much more able to pass such a test of her spirit and courage.

      Although she loved her sister dearly, felt that Keira was truly her best friend and ally, Alana ruefully admitted to herself that she often suffered the pinch of envy concerning Keira. Keira was the one who looked so much like the matriarch of their family, being vividly beautiful with her black hair, fair skin, and green eyes. Alana was little and brown. Keira had the true gift of healing whereas Alana was just a good healer, using knowledge and skill well but lacking the touch and strong instincts Keira had been blessed with. Keira had the sight. Alana only had a bond with her twin that occasionally stirred dreams and strong intuitions. Although neither of them had a bad temper, Keira was the gentler one, the sweeter one. Alana knew her tongue could be as sharp as a knife’s edge. Although she knew it was nonsense, knew she was as beloved by her family as Keira was, Alana occasionally felt that, as the second born, she had entered the world in Keira’s shadow and had never left it. She sighed, dismayed by her own foolishness.

      “That was a mournful sound, lass,” Gregor said. “Are ye sure ye arenae troubled?”

      “Nay, I am just thinking on how long we must wait until we may try to escape,” she lied, embarrassed by her thoughts.

      Gregor did not need to see clearly to know he was being lied to, but he did not press her. “Weel, what say ye to a game of chess to pass the time?” he asked, leaning back against the wall and tugging her along with him.

      “Aye, I am prepared to beat ye soundly yet again,” she said. “Ye may make the first move.”

      “How gracious ye are,” he drawled, suspecting her confidence was warranted, as he had not won a game yet.

      He closed his eyes, pictured his much-prized chess set in his mind, and struggled to decide upon his first move. If he was very lucky, he might take longer to lose this time. His victory could then be found in keeping them both well occupied during the too-long wait ahead of them.

      Alana lay sprawled on top of a cursing Gregor and struggled to catch her breath. It was obviously going to take them a while to learn the trick to it all, to gain the strength and balance to act as one while she stood upon Gregor’s shoulders. Her only consolation was that he was not any better at it than she was. He could hold her up well when she stood still, but the moment she attempted to move the heavy iron grate, he lost that control. The first three times she fell he had caught her easily enough. This time, however, even that had gone wrong.

      “I think four times is enough for tonight,” Gregor said, trying to will away the pain in his head, which had hit the hard ground with enough force to bring him perilously close to unconsciousness.

      “I concur,” Alana replied in a voice still hoarse and unsteady after having all the breath knocked out of her. “Mayhap on the morrow, betwixt meals, we should practice moving about whilst I am on your shoulders.”

      “Might be wise.”

      Forcing herself to move off him, Alana sprawled at his side. “We need СКАЧАТЬ