Across The Line. Amy Lee Burgess

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СКАЧАТЬ a fight where one person fought dirty and used a weapon when the other person had nothing.

      “He would have had a scar on his face after that fight,” I whispered. If he’d lived.

      “I really don’t want to talk about him, Stanzie.” Murphy looked ready to bail out of the speeding car.

      I knuckled a tear from the corner of my eye. Of course not. I wasn’t Fee or anyone else in the goddamn pack. He was probably sick of talking about Paddy. But who did I have to talk about him with? Why did I always have to keep my grief to myself? I guessed I should be used to it. I’d done it when Grey and Elena died, so why should Paddy be any different?

      “I thought the pack bond was supposed to make things better,” I said bitterly.

      “It’s not a fucking cure, Stanzie.” Exasperated, Murphy drove a hand through his hair.

      Something inside me snapped. “Maybe if somebody would bother to tell me what the fuck it is instead of what it isn’t, I wouldn’t make stupid assumptions like that, would I? It won’t control you, Stanzie. It won’t fuck you up. It won’t hurt your wolf. It won’t make you feel better about the mess of your life and it won’t cure a damn thing. What the fuck good is it then?” I drove my fist into the side window and welcomed the wallop of pain.

      “I’m sorry your life is such a mess. That’s what you get for coming here. I tried to keep you out of it, but no, you had to come chasing after me,” Murphy snarled.

      “Yeah, just another example of how you protect me by abandoning me like garbage. I love how you get to decide how my life is going to go. Because yours is so fucking great, everyone wants to be you, don’t they?” I snorted.

      “You want to be abandoned? You want to be left on the side of the road like garbage?” Murphy twisted the wheel and the car slid across two lanes to the shoulder while cars already in those lanes blared their horns.

      I wrapped my arms around my head and stopped breathing—waiting for the accident. I’d go out the same way Grey and Elena had. And this crash would be my fault too.

      I didn’t want to live if Murphy didn’t. Fate could not be so cruel as to kill Murphy and leave me alive. Not again.

      Murphy’s harsh breathing and the relentless pound of the rain gradually alerted me to the fact we weren’t moving and we hadn’t crashed. Not even close.

      Billy Idol’s White Wedding played in my head. Elena’s scream choked off. The wet snap of her neck. Grey reaching out to me as he was sucked out the yawning door. The Mustang flipping over the guard rail, sheering off the top of the small tree. Crash, the shriek of tortured metal, the deafening silence when it was over.

      When I could look at him, Murphy was slumped over the wheel, forehead braced against it, fingers white knuckled around the steering column. His heart was as loud as his breathing.

      I found the door handle and yanked on it. The damn door wouldn’t open at first, until I remembered it was locked. The roar of the rain seemed to rouse Murphy. He reached for me as I slid onto the pavement. I would never, ever let him drive me anywhere again. I was through with cars. Fuck them.

      The rain drenched me to the skin ten steps away from the shelter of the BMW. My jaw ached and I winced when I touched it. Bruised probably. I didn’t belong in this pack. I wasn’t Mac Tire material. I wanted to go home in the worst way. Somewhere I fit in.

      “Please get in the car.” Murphy guided the BMW next to me and kept pace with my stride. I ignored him. After I blinked rain out of my eyes, I shielded them with my hand so I could look down the road for a street sign. Anything that would tell me how far away I was from Dublin. I cursed. I had no money. No purse. Where was I supposed to go? I was damned if I’d go to the apartment. Maybe I could call Fee. She might lend me some money for a hotel. Only she’d want to know what was wrong between me and Murphy and screw that.

      “Stanzie.” Murphy tried again, but I didn’t look at him. He’d pulled across two lanes of oncoming traffic so he could throw me out of the car. Just because he hadn’t actually gone through the throwing me out part didn’t excuse any of it. The only person in the world I’d felt safe driving with, and now I couldn’t trust him anymore.

      Did that sign say ten miles or kilometers? Jesus, everyone in the pack talked miles but the street signs were in kilometers and I couldn’t figure distances out. Why couldn’t anything ever be easy? What was the difference between ten miles and ten kilometers? Whatever it was, it was too goddamn far to walk. At least to Dublin. In the rain. Maybe there was some fucking little town or something. Anything.

      “Please,” Murphy begged.

      “Aren’t you going to yell at me? Scream at me to get into the car?” I glared at him. That was next. If kindness didn’t work, yelling might.

      “No,” he answered. “I know I scared you.”

      “You’re damn right, you did. You didn’t just scare me. You scared the shit out of me. You pulled across two. Fucking. Lanes. There were cars coming. It’s raining and you know I’m scared of driving, especially on the wrong side of the road. Do you have any fucking idea how pissed off I am?” I kicked one of his BMW’s damn tires. I hoped I left a mark. I kicked the side panel too. If I didn’t make a dent, I’d at least smear mud on his precious paint job.

      “We need to talk,” he said.

      “Not in the fucking car, we don’t. I think we’ve pretty effectively proved we suck at talking in the car.”

      “Okay. We won’t talk until we get home. I swear. You get in and I will drive silently and carefully. Please?”

      “You’re an asshole, Liam Murphy,” I told him.

      “I know. A very huge asshole. I know,” he agreed.

      “Don’t think I’ll forgive you just because you know you fucked up.” I wrenched open the damn door and flung myself into the passenger seat. “And don’t think I’m going to buckle my seatbelt. I’m fucking done doing things your way. I’m going do things my way for a change. No more seatbelts. No more waiting for you to finally remember I’m there. No more you telling me when I get to talk about Paddy and when I don’t and I’m not cleaning up after Fee or the baby. I’m not waiting to go out to eat until you want to. I’m not putting my life on hold so you can make everyone in the whole damn world feel better while I sit there alone. I don’t want to be your rock. You hear me, Liam Murphy? I don’t want to be your fucking rock!”

      “I bet you’d like to hit me with a really big one right about now though,” he said and it was either explode or laugh.

      I laughed.

      * * * *

      We didn’t get three feet through the apartment door before he had me on the floor, tearing at my clothes. I ripped at his too. He kicked the door shut with his foot while simultaneously slamming his cock deep inside me.

      I sank my teeth into his shoulder and he yanked my hair hard.

      “Are we playing rough?” he asked me.

      For an answer, I head butted him. “That’s for being a giant asshole.”

      When he gave one of СКАЧАТЬ