Inside Out. Amy Lee Burgess

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СКАЧАТЬ “What happened to beer?”

      “Not strong enough,” Paddy said as he came through the door, a bucket of ice in hand.

      “Gin,” Murphy said with the air of someone forced to do something totally against his principles.

      “Please don’t tell me you want something exotic to go with it and make me go out and search again.” Paddy rolled his eyes.

      “Ice is hardly exotic. And it’s not like you had to go to the Arctic to hand chip it.” I pointed out.

      “You ever try finding ice machines in hotels?” Paddy asked me as he slipped three or four ice cubes into my drink.

      “Is there tonic water?” Murphy knelt by the mini fridge to look.

      “For about six dollars there might be a wee little mouthful.”

      Murphy gave him a look. “I’ll pay.”

      “Like hell, Liam Murphy.”

      “You rich, Paddy?” I asked as I took a sip of the drink. It was strong but the can of orange juice was too far away to reach.

      “I’m Alpha of Mac Tire,” he told me as if that explained everything.

      “While he’s Alpha, he’s got access to the pack funds. They’re...” Murphy searched for a suitable word. “...considerable.”

      “But when you’re not Alpha?”

      “Ah, then I’ll have to subsist on my bond mate’s generosity.” Paddy’s sigh was mournful. “’Tis a terrible thing to have a bond mate with more money than you.”

      Despite myself I laughed. In our duo, I was the one with the bond mate who had more money.

      Paddy looked enormously pleased with himself because he’d made me laugh.

      “You get the tequila,” Murphy reminded him as he poured a can of tonic water into his gin.

      “I’m Alpha and I have to drink the tequila. What the hell is wrong with this picture?” Paddy said. He unscrewed the cap of the nipper bottle and held it aloft.

      His face became serious. “To a brave girl who suffered more than she should have at the hands of a perverted and evil man. May she find herself in a better place surrounded by family and pack that passed before her.” He downed the contents of the bottle in two swallows.

      Tears burned in my eyes again as I gulped at my screwdriver. Murphy’s face was solemn and shadowed and he clenched his glass tightly as he drank.

      “The funeral’s tomorrow. They’ve asked us to go.” Paddy tossed the empty tequila bottle at the waste basket and scored.

      I didn’t say anything. The cold glass in my hand became the center of my universe for a few seconds until Murphy said, “You don’t have to go, Stanzie.”

      “Oh, yeah,” I said. “I swoop in and rescue her and then don’t bother to show up at her funeral because she had the temerity to die on me. That’s great.”

      “You don’t have to go.” Ice cubes shifted in his glass as he drained the rest of his drink and set it aside.

      “You think I’m such a coward, don’t you?” I was angry and full of grief, and there was nothing to pin a target to except the first person who spoke. The same person who had conveniently skipped out on my tribunal and consequently had no idea what was going on in my head—he only thought he did, which was doubly infuriating.

      “I think Maplefair has a lot of bloody nerve asking you back there after what you went through. That doesn’t mean you’re a coward if you don’t want to go.” Murphy found a navy blue t-shirt and put it on with angry, economical moves.

      “What I went through was bullshit compared to what Bethany did.” I wanted to throw the glass at his face but didn’t mostly because I was aware of Paddy as he watched us.

      “Don’t underestimate the effects of what you went through, Constance. She may have been down there longer and tortured, but your wolf tore Nate’s throat out. That is not something you get over in a matter of a few days.”

      “Oh, thank you for pointing out how fucked up I’m supposed to be over this, Murphy. Jesus, I wonder what I would do if you weren’t around to tell me these things? Oh, yeah. I’d do just fine on my own. Like I did for the whole tribunal.”

      “Are you going to hold it over my frigging head for the rest of our lives that I wasn’t there for that goddamn tribunal?” Murphy’s eyes gleamed with a dangerous fury.

      “Nice. Now you’re angry at me. You are angry at me. You can turn it around and play the martyr all you like, but the truth is you know you were wrong and not admitting it is not going to change anything.”

      “I was not wrong.” Murphy stormed over to his boots and stuffed his feet into them without benefit of socks. “You’re too damn stubborn to acknowledge that I was trying to help you.”

      “Save me, you mean.” My voice was savage. Paddy’s gaze went back and forth between us as if he watched a brutally competitive tennis match.

      “What is the fucking difference?” Murphy demanded.

      “That’s the biggest problem. You don’t know and you can’t tell the difference or see how insulting it is that you think I’m so fucking weak that I need you to save me because I’m not capable of doing it on my own. Go to hell, Liam Murphy!”

      “You were on trial for your life!” Murphy’s voice shook he was so angry. “You could have been put to death. Can you set your damn ego aside for one minute and see it from my perspective? I had to do everything I could and finding that damned precedent was the one thing I knew for sure would save your life. It had nothing to do with whether I thought you incapable of saving yourself. You couldn’t search for the precedent, but I could. That’s why I did it.

      “If saving your life is a crime, then I confess. I’m guilty as hell of at least trying my damndest to do it. Just because it ended up the tribunal set its own precedent, doesn’t invalidate my decision to search for one that already existed.

      “I’d do the same thing over again, you know that? The same fucking thing.”

      He glared at me, his mouth tense and tight before he slammed out the door.

      Paddy watched it for a moment and abruptly headed across the room. His hand on the knob, he turned back. “Stay here.” The door banged behind him.

      My hand shook as I set aside my half-drunk screwdriver, and curled up in the chair.

      * * * *

      Hours later Murphy and Paddy returned to the room. They smelled of wind and beer, as if they’d gone for a long walk after a visit to a bar. They were not in the slightest bit intoxicated, and Murphy’s anger had burned out. Paddy took one look at me, swore under his breath, and went into the bathroom. Water began to gush from the shower.

      I hadn’t moved in the chair since they’d left. My legs, drawn up beneath me, had long since lost all СКАЧАТЬ