Karma Kameleon. Stephanie Haefner

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      I looked to Rich, his blue eyes telling me exactly what I wanted to hear. We’d do our celebrating later. I turned back the other half of my new-age family–Marcus in his striped cotton pants and t-shirt, Kevin in silky red pj’s. “No. Let’s get dressed and celebrate together.”

      * * * *

      I checked my cell after having it off an entire day–a family brunch with Marcus, Kevin and Preston, then a romantic night with Rich, including a stay at the Luxury Inn and Suites for nostalgia’s sake. Rich no longer worked for his Uncle Walt full-time, but filled in when he needed someone. He’d worked there even after graduating from NYU, his administrative assistant’s job at Big Apple Records not quite paying enough to survive on. But with the step up to promoter, he’d been able to leave the hotel clerk job.

      “You have fifteen new messages.” A robotic female voice spoke into my ear as we climbed into a cab. What the hell? Can’t I be left alone for one day?

      “First message…Hey, Lexi! It’s Amanda. I got your text and I’m so excited for you guys. Congrats! Call me later.”

      “Next message…Lexi, dear, it’s Mom. I’m putting together a dinner to celebrate your engagement. Oh, this is so wonderful–another wedding to plan! I’ve already talked with Pastor John and he’s ecstatic. He gave me a list of dates the church is available next summer. We can’t do May–that’s Abigail and Daniel’s wedding anniversary. June would be perfect. July and August are too hot–you know how the heat affects your father’s hyperhidrosis. So we should book this as soon as possible. Hate to have your heart set on a date and then–”

      “Next message… It’s Mom again. Geez, they don’t give you much time to talk before cutting you off. But anyway, Pastor said many dates next summer are already booked, so we need to pick one soon so you get your first choice. And we need to book the florist and the band, too. Call me when you get this.”

      I’d been an engaged woman barely twenty-four hours and already the drama had begun.

      “Next message… Lexi, it’s Sheila. I need your last copy edit for Mama Drama ASAP, and we need to go over the schedule for the local book tour. We’re trying to book you in a couple other cities–Buffalo, Toronto, maybe Philly. Call me.”

      I shut the phone off and rested my head on Rich’s shoulder with a sigh, not caring about the other messages.

      “The real world beckons.” He kissed my forehead. “I checked my messages, too. One day away and shit’s falling apart at work.”

      “My mother’s already planning our wedding extravaganza.”

      He laughed. “Honestly, I couldn’t care less about the details. I just want to marry you. We could go to City Hall right now for all I care.”

      “Don’t tempt me.” I snuggled into him tight, loving that he was just like me. “But don’t you want to see me in a gorgeous gown and shove cake in my face?”

      “We don’t need a big fancy wedding to do that. I’d be happy with something small and intimate, the people who matter.”

      “If I can wrestle my mom into submission, I’ll make it happen.”

      The cab pulled up in front of the building where I’d been sharing an apartment with Marcus and Kevin for over a year. Rich had moved in right after Preston’s birth, and aside from the usual family spats, it had been complete bliss. Every woman should be as lucky–three men to cater to her every need.

      The first few months of motherhood had been–for lack of a less profane phrase–pretty damn fucked up. As if cracked, bleeding nipples weren’t enough, throw in nights of minuscule sleep, shit explosions–the baby’s, not mine–and uncontrollable crying fits–mine, not the baby’s. And through it all, my guys were there. Marcus, the tough-as-nails lawyer and my BFF-slash- baby daddy, had morphed into a fluff of bright pink cotton candy when he became a dad. His live-in lover and life partner, Kevin, became the brother I never had, or even knew I wanted.

      And then there was Rich, the man I loved and wanted to spend my life with. Our relationship until Preston’s birth had been pretty rocky. But once we’d sorted through our feelings, we couldn’t live without each other.

      Okay, cue the harp music and toss some rose petals over our heads. I know–so not like me.

      But never in my life had I found a man who cared for me–not my breasts, my tight ass, or my immeasurable talent for giving head. He did like those attributes, of course, but we had fun together and genuinely wanted the best for each other.

      Rich and I held hands and stepped into the apartment amid chaos. Preston screamed, and crawled to the living room wearing nothing. Kevin ran after him, soaked from head to toe. Marcus appeared with a bloodied washcloth held to his nose.

      So much for relaxing a bit longer.

      “What the hell is going on here?” I picked Preston up and held him close.

      “We were giving him a bath, and well, he whacked Marcus in the nose with his tugboat. Then he started splashing me.”

      All of a sudden, my brand new Diane von Furstenberg maxi sundress got really warm…and wet.

      “Son of a bitch.” I held Preston away from me by the armpits, pee still trickling from his little fireman’s hose.

      “Let me have him.” Rich took him to the nursery while I headed to the bedroom to change. When I came back to the kitchen, Kevin was cleaning Marcus’s face of all traces of blood. After a final wipe, he kissed him on the nose and the two smiled at each other.

      I found Rich in the living room with Preston on the couch, an episode of Sesame Street on the flat screen. Peace had been restored.

       Chapter 2

      “We only have a week until Preston’s birthday extravaganza,” Kevin stated after taking his seat at the dinner table.

      “Can you believe it?” I shoveled a forkful of rice pilaf into my mouth.

      “I can’t wait to start making all the food. And the decorating! I ordered the cutest centerpiece for the table–it’s in a little red wagon! I found the perfect napkins and plates to match and the cake is just adorable. I showed you the picture, right?” Kevin grabbed a folder off the counter and moved a platter of chicken aside.

      “I know the party is already planned and all, but I was thinking…” He scattered a few brochures. “We should hire a clown.” He picked up a colorful brochure, his head so inflated with ideas it looked like it could explode any second if he didn’t let them out. “Or this other company sets up an entire kiddie carnival inside your house.”

      Marcus and I locked eyes, then turned to Kevin. Poor guy. He was so damn excited.

      “I love you for doing this.” Marcus put his hand on Kevin’s. “But I think it’s too much.”

      “It’s only his first birthday,” I added. “We can save this cool stuff for when he’s older and actually has friends.”

      “He has friends. Jeanette’s kids will be here.”

      “I СКАЧАТЬ